BitchyList

Thursday, June 29, 2006

If You're Feeling Sinister...

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...Just run to the nearest video place and rent this movie!!! It's magical and I assure you it's fifteen hundred times better than prozac or any other drug you may ever find. It's like good booze, it gets you drunk but never sick.

It has everything: Jazz, Tango, mouth-dropping dance routines, clever humor, bitter sarchasm, showbiz self-depreciation, dumb shallow press, political critics - all them mixed with the best politically incorrect lines -, the corrupt lawyer and prision guard, the brunnette femme fatale and the witty falsely ambitious blonde!!! All of them in one film!! Isn't it a blast? Ohh... the name of it? C'mon, don't tell me you still don't know it!! Duuh... it's CHICAGO!!!!


Today ho and I were quoting Queen Latifah's genius musical number, When You're Good To Moma, and we realized how long we haven't seen Chicago. So I took the advice from the beginning of the post and got it. After I watched this cute film with brilliant Claire Danes and hot Billy Cudrop (Stage Beauty) I instantly put it on my DVD. This was the whatever-th time I watched it but everything felt fresh and exciting as if it was the very first time!!

My body hair bristled all over the Block Cell Tango (my favorite part) and the press conference scene; I came every time Latifah, Gere, Zeta-Jones and Zellweger were on screen (in other words: all the time); I laughed my ass off with all the puns and jokes. This time Roxie's numbers just blew me away more than before, especially the one they homage Monroe's Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and I even loved the Mr. Cellophane number. And to top it all, right after it finished my dad wanted to watch... so I didn't resist and watched it all over again with him!! And had all the same sensations!! Uhg... it's perfect!!!

So motherfuckers, if you ever feel like trash like killing your insignificant drama-queened self, just watch Chicago and you'll feel as if life and Light had just knocked you over giving you happiness again, even if you never actually really felt that bad!!

[Song: Nowadays - Renée Zellweger]

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Life is a mystery...

... lol, my post titles have been very Madonnized lately.

Anyways, the other day I was all crappy-mooded about college and friends and whatever but today I'm a bit better. Well, my friends are still boring even though I love them to death [what makes me the boring one], but today I had to bleed my brains to do a Brit Literature assignment and study for its exam. As I started my Googling on Irish poet Seamus Heaney my father's pc died with viruses. So while it was scanned I decided to not wast time and read stuff for the exam.

By the end of the day I wrote a quick but (imo) inspiring little essay about Heaney's poem "September Song" and managed to study most of the matters I was supposed to for the exam. When I read its first question and realized I could do it easily I had orgasms!! As I wrote more than ten lines for each question I reassured myself in my course and got a bit more optimist about it.

I still wanna desperately kiss someone, but I'm less bitter than yesterday! I love life!!

[Song: Dress You Up - Madonna]

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Time Goes By So Slowly...

... for those without men!! LOL!!!

As I get bitter about my college and how annoyed about it I am, I get also awful news as the cherry of the top: Madonna ain't coming anymore. That evil whore!! But you see, I'm ok, 'cause since the beginning I decided to keep my two feet on the ground.

Putting Madonna aside, I'm excited about going to Bahia next weekend. The thing is [and I'm sorry to go drama-queening and being boring bitter again]: I'm bored of my friends!! (The flesh ones ho! Not the bytes ones like you!!)

It's all the same talk, the same laughs, the same... uhg!! I feel like knowing new people, connecting with new minds, hearing new and more exciting stories, instead of the next drama about the boyfriend that doesn't notice how pretty she is, or how many pages have I written for Brit Literature assignment.

Today, two of my friends were shit-chating after the English exam and they were telling these really funny anecdotes but those shallow smiles were all I could give. And I thought: what is wrong with me? Maybe it's because I often get this way at this time of the year. But maybe - and this is definintely the option - I'm just upset with the way I'm carrying my life: lazily around, postponing the things that would do me good or make changes.

"Lucas you stupid!! You want a man? Go out and get one!! Do what Kabbalah tells you to and stop sabotaging yourself like an Alanis Morissette angst Jagged Little Pill poem," says M. Alexander Dantas.

[Song: Forbidden Love - Madonna]

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Kabbalah and Alcohol

When I read my "kabbalist weekly astrology" four days ago, it told me to go out on Friday no matter how much I felt like staying at home. So after being dumped by my friends that decided to sleep early on weekend eve even though they had nothing to do the other day [I at least have Spanish class], I made my family take me out.

A Sminorff Ice and a glass of Marguerita later there was tipsy me having high class and intelectual conversations, as always, with my father, laughing my ass off with Zenaide and my sister while we sang crappy Brazillian music between a sip and another, watching Sheryl Crowl's DVD that played on the bar and secretly drooling on the cute boys that passed by and giggling inside for the dubious fashionable girls with them.

By the end of the night, as I write, I think: kabbalists do it better!!

[Song: Message Personnel - Françoise Hardy]

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

SHE'LL COME!!!

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OMG!! OMG!!! I'M SO EXCITED I CAN'T EVEN TAKE THE CAPS LOCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT!! I'LL DIE!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M DYING!!!!!!!!!
I'M DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!

BRAZILLIAN PRESS HAS CONFIRMED: MADONNA IS COMING IN OCTOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WILL I GO?!?!??!?! OF COURSE I WILL!! I JUST CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND HERE I AM!!!

BRAZIL, ARE YOU READY TO JUMP?!

[SONG: JUMP - MADONNA]

Monday, June 19, 2006

Movie Life

As nothing else interesting goes on in my life I sink myself in movies and French music.

Yay to the Ho I'm all into this French chick called Alizée: Moi... Lolita is my new favorite song. Along with her, the whole 8 Femmes soundtrack's been more than enough on my playlist. To listen to Isabelle Huppert singing Françoise Hardy's Message Personnel is like having a "duet" of g-ds, even though they don't sing together.

This weekend I also watched it again. Uhg, what is that movie? It's like having 8 orgasms in two hours. Everything about it is perfect, since the colors till of course the music!! And rewatching it made me see how flawless it is, every part of the plot fits perfectly and I haven't seen any holes so far. Every time it ends I feel like watching it again and again!!! Ludivine Sagnier makes me wanna dance cutly. Isabelle Huppert and Firminie Richard make me cry. Fanny Ardant is a goddess!! Virginie Ledoyen is beyond lovely!! Emmanuele Béart thrills me with her Madonna-esque performance. Catherine Deneuve makes me cum. And Danielle Darrieux final act makes me want more.

I finally watched La Marche de L'Empereur: the cutest movie about human beings without human beings. It's so tender how they humanized the little birds, but I think that my urge for romance didn't let me feel the romance of the movie. I just watched it as I would watch an everyday Discovery Channel show and probably lost its magic. I came with the cinematography though...

Errrm... what else? Well, I feel really bored and uninterested about everything lately. I'm horny as a dog but too chicken-shit to go out and get men. The only thing I REALLY wanna do is getting drunk. I think I'll just be at home organize my mp3 folders, have several glasses of wine and dream I'm Bree Van De Kamp.

[Song: Moi... Lolita - Alizee]

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Je Suis Un Vampire

I shouldn't be all alarmed about this but I've realized I'm still the kind of person who has no decent personal (aka sex) life and live from the other's!! \o/ yaaaaay... how marvelous!!!

Here I am in front of my computer in a shiny, bright and dull holiday in Marilia when I should be reading something for school, or out bathing myself with the light. In addition all that makes me wanna leave the house is the perspective of going to the front supermarket and getting the highest fat chocolate ice cream I can find!!! \o/ Unfortunatelly my dad doesn't have money to give me. u_u

So, since I don't have "personal" life I live from my friends'!! Last night I went out to celebrate my driver license that I finally got!!! Nathalia, Juliana and Filipe went with me and it was a cute night. I fell in love with the waiter and came everytime he passed us by. But all very stupidly discreet and only Nathalia was aware. u_u

Then today, as I enjoyed my boredom Nathalia logs on the MSN and OH MY G-D!!! She started braging about what happened in the party she went after she left us last night. This thin but hot guy took her from the waistline, threw her against the wall and gave her this motherfucking hot kiss!! And they hooked up the whole night and made out and uhg... I had orgasms as she told!!! Especially on the part she said she had her hand into his pockets ALL THE TIME"!!!! Ö

That's why I came to the conclusion that the highlights of my life are the highlights of my friends' lives!!! \o/ Yaaaaaay...

Is my life lame?
Yeaaaah!!!
Am I desperate about it?
Noooooooooooo!!!! \o/

*no sarchasm this time*

[Song: Papa T'es Plus Dans L'coup - Ludivine Sagnier]

Friday, June 09, 2006

IIIIIIIIII'm

BORED AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!

My life's a bore lately! I'll get drunk and smoke pot to see what happens.

[Song: A Perfect Sonnet - Bright Eyes]