Top 6 Canadian Women

Yes, I have absolutely nothing more interesting to do! But whatever, I woke up today with Diana Krall's version of the American classic Cry Me A River and realized she's a Canadian doing American music; also came to my mind that some of the best examples of American music [being that Jazz, Blues, Rock etc] artists are not American, i. e. The Beatles, Joni Mitchell, Pamela Anderson [yes, I'm joking]. Okay this is nonsensical, but fuck it, I got me thinking of Canada this morning as I listened to Diana's voice, also when remembered Mitchell's A Case Of You ["On the back of a cartoon coaster/In the blue tv screen light/I drew a map of Canada/Oh Canada/And your face sketched on it twice"], so as aforementioned I have nothing better to do, I decided to do a list of my current favorite Canadians.

6. Kim Cattrall

Alright, you know I'm talking about Samantha Jones! Cattrall was actually born in Widnes in England, however her family emigrated to Courtenay [British Columbia - Canada] and truth be told I know nothing else of her besides Miss Jones. [Hmm... I did watch Crossroads but we'll all just ignore that]. Oui oui shame on me, but who cares?! I mean, Samantha Jones is G-d! She's the dream of liberation of every modern woman and queer I know. Cattrall's screen presence is so strong that even the prudest of viewers couldn't help adoring Samantha's charm and sass. As for me: I worship her and Cattrall could not fail to be here for giving life to such a wonderful character.

5. Rachel McAdams
This London [Ontario] born actress got me by surprise in her stellar turn in 2004's Mean Girls. My main goal in watching the movie was to see Lindsay Lohan's first critic praised role, but on my first screening of the movie, even loving Lohan's job it was McAdams and her wonderful Regina George who got me. McAdams gave us a character so diabolically funny that you could not not love her; Regina's meanness always felt real and tangible even when the film got goofy and over-the-top and Rachel ended up creating an icon. You felt like Cady, hating that horrible bitch but at the same time desiring to be around her. Later I totally fell in love with the woman: I rented The Notebook - meh movie wonderful performances, - ran crazily to the movies to see her captivating and heartpounding job in Red Eye and absolutely loved her sarcasm in The Family Stone. Things I didn't know: she was considered for the role of Andrea Sachs in Prada and turned down MI3 [good girl!] and Cassino Royale [she's forgiven, Eva Green was perfect].

4. Sarah McLachlan

When I became an Alanis Morissette freak and started a downloading spree I came across the name of the Halifax [Nova Scotia] born Sarah McLachlan. I remember being kinda intrigued because back then I didn't know how to pronounce her name. A while later Alais introduced me to her music and I had a beautiful surprise when I discovered she was the writer and performer of a song that for a while had been touching my emotions and bullying my curiosity [to know who sung it]: Angel. This now overplayed tune caught me crying the very first time I heard it, on an Alias 1st season episode. As I dived into McLachlan's discography, she became the woman of heartfelt and beautiful lyrics and touching and stunning performances. It's common sense that her voice presents a beautiful sorrow that it is hard not to be awed by it; even the ho cried with Wintersong!

3. Diana Krall

When I first saw Diana Krall [Nanaimo - British Columbia] I must confess that my first reaction was: "whaaa... she ain't black!" It was no racist remark of mine, maybe a bit prejudiceful, but not racist. I said that because when I 1st heard Krall [before knowing her face] I pictured a woman in the likes of India.Arie, or Des'ree, and suddenly I was facing a blonde chick with an imperative presence and a groove that white people don't often have. But really, what's much to say of Krall? Everyone seems to love her but not in a pejorative-hyped way [like The Black Eyed Peas]; her public goes from new and young jazz listeners, getting in touch with the art, to mothers who loves a romantic [almost] suggary love song. She performed in Brasil last year; do I hate myself for missing it? Whadda think?

2. Alanis Morissette

One of the most overplayed and hyped artists from the late 90's, the Ottawa born Alanis Morissette totally deserved [almost] everything she got with her adult career [for those who don't know, Morissette was a teen star back in the 80's in Canada]. Recently I said I don't longer consider her as a main G-d from my polytheistic pop culture religion, but I guess I was overreacting. Nowadays I still don't feel like listening to her songs, but I've recently been in contact with her geniusness with her latest MadTv appearance [video bellow]. And coming to think of it she's a helluva an artist! She's always delivered somehow beautiful pop/rock gems; her lyrics are true descriptive poetry [doubters, if there's any: listen to Ironic, I Was Hoping, Joining You, Flinch and 21 Things I Want In A Lover] and her attitude's always been appealing and charming. My favorite album of hers is Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie [SFIJ], her sophomore [post 90's]; the 17-song gem is filled with exciting and beautiful arrangements but are the lyrics that shine throughout it. Most of them, even if came from Alanis's deep and imaginative mind, sound personal and autobiographical - but in a way that you relate yourself to them, making them even more powerful. Lately she's been accused of losing her creativity by repeating herself. Bullshit! Alright, her last album, So-Called Chaos, was a lot inferior to her previous ones, sometimes sounding like an Under Rug Swept's leftover; but still you can find the beautifuly written lyrics and some songs are really cool ["Excuses"]. Then she re-released her 1st international hit Jagged Little Pill [JLP] in acoustic form - some called repetitive exploitation, I called reinvention; in my opinion JLP got an even nicer and pleasing sound as an acoustic album, not to mention that her voice was way better than back in 1995. Aside all the controversy, it's common sense that Morissette is an icon from the 90's; she's been inspiring a great deal of people who love music, lyrics and artists with intelligent and deep kicks.

1. Nelly Furtado

Nelly Kim Furtado. She was the first Canadian [Victoria - British Columbia] I fell in love with; at least the first that I knew who was Canadian. When I'm Like A Bird hit Brasil I instantly fell; there was a restlessness and eager desire on those raspery vocals, and such a honesty into those shining blue eyes! Most of the people I knew hated her acute vocals and didn't get her quirky creativity [mud/feijoada dance? Bring it on!] but for me she was a ride of joy. I remember back then two things that most excited me about her was a) that she was half Portuguese and knew a lot of Brazillian music and culture and b) my dad loved her! She then came to Brasil with her Burning In the Spotlight Tour and of course I couldn't see her live, but stayed awake in a week day till late like a silly fan waiting for her interview on a Brazillian late nite talk show. But it was Furtado's sophomore album that firmed me as a die-hard fan. The woman simply reinvented herself completely! After motherhood she assumed a darker and more mature tone and image; of course that the change didn't please me as much as I wanted, but her work was still charming and amazingly produced. Then, last year she did [imo] the coolest move in her career: she grew up for real! She became a hot woman who wasn't afraid to tell everyone she wants to have fun and that she has a sexuality; she was no longer a grown-up wannabe like Folklore felt sometimes. For all these reasons, I praise this woman shamelessly; her creativity is a great mixture of artistic freedom and accessibility; some might've thought Loose a desperate turn to make money, but not everyone can notice a good reinvention when showed. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Bitchy Talk

As you know I moved. As you know I was PCless. As you know I still have no decent internet connection. Due to those reasons it was pratically impossible for me to edit and post February's Bitchy Talk with Gabriel. But better late than never and here we are. The interview was done in late January so there are some anachronisms, but anachronisms are soooo fun, enjoy!

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“Just a fucked up girl looking for her own peace of mind”, Gabriel quotes Kate Winslet’s character on 2004 Michel Gondry’s motion picture Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind to describe himself. 2006 was a turning point for him because many things happened on the sentimental area and he managed to learn and evolve with them. I can’t say for sure when and how Gabriel and I became friends but what matters is that we are. We share the love for Madonna and some other similar tastes like Alanis Morissette and Björk, but Gabriel is more into the Indie side of music and life in general.

In his Like A Blogger blog he goes from the confessional to the pop cultural. He has a talent in manipulating song lyrics to say what he means at the moment. In 2007 Gabriel is meaning to clean the house, taking care of neglected aspects in the past year and trying not to repeat the same mistakes; after all, the “knowledge of the existence of a hole makes the ‘same’ path totally different”.

)( Lucas Bradshaw)( Times That I Was Thinking: drama is the basis of every human being’s life. What are you recent ones? Things you know that could be solved in a minute but part of you delays and complicates it.

_Gabriel: wow… how much time do we have? Haha. You know I tend to maximize all my problems. I’m super dramatic because sometimes it’s cool. But when the drama tires me I solve it at once. I finished some already, by the way, but I’d say my main ones now are my lack of money and time – that are actually lack of planning. Oh and relationships… uhg!

LB: oh nevermind relationships; it’s crappy for everyone!

_G: That’s comforting…

LB: but why do you think that being dramatic is cool? [This is no judgmental question.]

_G: I don’t know. I think that that way I feel and analyze the situation in an extreme way too. The fuck-what-do-I-do euphoria has helped me many times. Everyone knows that my only solid relationship is with hyperbole.

LB: hahaha… hyperbole rules! Exaggeration is part of human’s psyche and amen! Without it we wouldn’t have the Baroque, Marie Antoinette and Almodóvar pictures.

_G: exactly! And what would be of the world without them?

LB: anyway, I meant to start with this but it slipped from my mind: what are you listening?

_G: when we started it was All Is Full Of Love. Now it’s Army Of Me [Björk].

LB: ahhh… we’re synching and we didn’t even notice! That’s romantic.

_G: oh, that’s true! You’re listening to the same album. That’s cute indeed.

LB: what does Army Of Me bring upon you?

_G: actually nothing. It’s a beautiful song but it’s far from being my favorite Björk. I like to scream along etc, but…

LB: which’s your favorite Björk?

_G: Hyper-Ballad and Jóga… Venus As A Boy!

LB: Hyper-Ballad is mega dramatic! This thing of casting stuff from a cliff is beyond drama-queen.

_G: hahaha… see?! It’s a dramatic song indeed. I identify myself with her fascination about the noises of the falling objects. I used to do that as a kid on the neighbor’s roof… and I like the metaphor of living at the top of a mountain with a marvelous view, but it’s also a place you can fall from and die.

LB: do you consider yourself a bitchy person?

_G: define bitchy.

LB: lol! Uhh… it’s a person like… me! Fine, I’ll be more specific: bitchy are those who lose the friend but never miss the joke. That sarcasm is the basis of the dialogue.

_G: ahm, ah… I don’t think I’m bitchy then. I have my moments, but I’m not always sarcastic, not with everyone.

LB: do you complain a lot?

_G: it depends. I complain about life in general. Things are cool and there I am in drama mode but I know I’m exaggerating. I complain about things everyone does; something from work, a low grade etc.

LB: welcome to the club. That’s bitchy!

_G: is it really?

LB: that’s the difference between bitchy and annoying. Bitchy has the conscience that good part of the drama springs from exaggeration and knows that there’s a moment that normal mode must be on. Annoying people are just annoying!

_G: hahahahaha… get it! But I’m sure there’s someone out there who thinks I’m annoying – not bitchy.

LB: those are annoying people who don’t get bitchy! What’s your film obsession at the moment?

_G: re-watching some movies. I work at a video place and I clearly see how the productions tend to be repetitive and bad. I can talk about any film to a costumer; even if I haven’t seen it. Explain the end of a film I didn’t see as well. That’s why I got into this phase of re-watching my favorite movies. I guess that holidays have much to do with it too. A lot of crap is produced nowadays, that’s disappointing.

LB: hmm… maybe you haven’t looked out properly. In fact the mainstream has nothing worth watching.

_G: that’s why I firstly explained that I work at a video place. Only the mainstream comes to my hand, and they’re awful!

LB: the only decent popcorn movies from last year were Prada and Cassino Royale. And uhg… those humanized animals animations, who can put up with them?! Only Happy Feet was good.

_G: who wants to see Bruce Willis saving the world again? And Morgan Freeman being the lead’s neighbor or grandfather?

LB: argh! I hate Morgan Freeman! And he’s so good! Or is he really? I mean, all his characters are the same.

_G: yes he’s a great actor. I shiver just thinking of him in Driving Miss Daisy. But now he does appearances in 1200 movies and all of the 1200 movies suck. He turned out to be very repetitive.

LB: he’s omnipresent like Cate Blanchett. I know you don’t care about award season, but the Academy’s nominations were out today. Did you see the list?

_G: I was on my lunchtime when I heard the names Scarlett Johanson and Kate Winslet on TV and thought of an accident with both; then I realized it was the Academy’s nods but didn’t care to know them.

LB: shame on you Gabriel! But anyway, the lists for best actress is: Helen Mirren [The Queen], Meryl [Prada], Penelope [Volver], Winslet [Little Children] and Judi Dench [Notes On A Scandal]. Which of these have you seen or is dying to see?

_G: I saw Prada and Volver, but truth be told I never even heard of the other ones. By name I can’t even say who Helen Mirren is; I stopped caring about the Academy a while ago. Go ahead Lucas, boo me.

LB: hahahaha… in fact the Academy lost some of its credibility; but there’s a whole process until the Oscars. A film doesn’t win the Oscar just because the Academy thought it pretty. It has a long critical and audience way to go. Now shall we talk about someone that is truly you obsession, Alanis Morissette. How did you meet her?

_G: Hands Clean. I found the song cute and the video very original. When I bought and heard the album I thought it as one of the most genius things ever done.

LB: until you heard Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie.

_G: the lyrics are amazing and I loved all the arrangements. The cover reminded me of The Beatles - a great reference. Then a used records store was open next to my house, where I bought the previous two. And I simply died. I really do think her poetry one of the best; they have all to be with me. I think Alanis is a beautiful example that you can change whenever you want, be mad and lucid at the same time.

LB: I agree! For a long time I’ve been at the same stage of her lyrics… they were things I longed to say, I longed to do. If my life were a musical it’d have many songs by Morissette. Nowadays I identify myself more with her style than the messages. I absolutely love how she stuffs a verse with million words. Joining You and I Was Hoping are G-d.

_G: I know! I was 12 when I first heard these songs and they were things that didn’t rhyme nor have choruses. Kind of revolutionary for a friendless skinny boy like me, so bored of seeing Backstreet Boys’ posters on the newsstands.

LB: what about Madonna?

_G: with Madonna it was sort of a political curiosity, can you believe it? Actually I had the Music album but never cared much about it; but later American Life was available on the web and I fell in love with it. It was all I listened to for a great while. In short I bought everything concerned to her that interested me.

LB: wow, it took me a while for me to accomplish that. And still I don’t have certain things like, Evita’s soundtrack or the You Can Dance [YCD] compilation.

_G: oh no Lucas, I don’t care about those! I hate Evita, and the YCD’s remixes are too 80’s.

LB: oh you don’t like the 80’s, I understand; actually I don’t, but I learned to respect that. But wow, Evita is amazing!

_G: it bores me; the story doesn’t fascinate me, it’s a slow movie… looks like an endless music video.

LB: okay, let’s cut the Madonna off, before we start drooling. What are your greatest dreams?

_G: at the moment I study journalism but I’d like to be a writer. It’s even a kind of cliché “oh, didn’t make it as a writer, be a journalist,” but I’d really like to be one. My grandpa’s a writer and I admire him a lot; his books are praised in the field, but I don’t think of underground literature for a second. I want to write good books, that would sell well and I could support myself with them. I guess this is my greatest and most impossible one; I’ll probably end up writing obituaries with euphemisms.

LB: lol… self-depreciation = bitchy! You noticed how I wanna drag everyone to the club right!

_G: oh yes!! *fear*

LB: anyways, journalism has a lot to do with writing. After all it’s a career of reading and writing. Now Gabs, I’d like you to pick an image or two that you would relate to yourself in the moment and tell me why you chose them.

_G: can I make it three?

LB: sure!

_G: the first is a painting by René Magritte called The Empire Of Lights [on the top], that makes me shudder; it’s a house reflected by the water. It’s a surrealist piece and I was sat in a bookstore with this heavy book trying to see the surrealism in it, and when I noticed it I had tears on my eyes.

_G: recently I found an image from my favorite scene from Eternal Sunshine: when Joel and Clementine are under the sheets and she asks him if he thinks she’s ugly, it’s her best monologue in the film.

_G: the third is a picture from Madonna/Steven Klein’s 2004 collaboration, X-Static Process. To be more specific it’s a page from The Re-Invention Tour’s tourbook where there’s half of her body [red corset/red string/name of G-d] and another is just her face and the drawing of her eye is the head of stencil bird. That’s so beautiful, it was my wallpaper for a long time.

LB: okay, but why did this touched you so deeply? Try to rationalize the feeling.

_G: I’m not sure, I thought that bird so sensible sided by that corset, that gives a strange notion of movement; the arms with the veins. I think that shoot was a kind of underground; it was aesthetic but also very conceptual. I had that image on my notebook beside a Lennon picture.

LB: interesting combo!

TMJ

[This post requires a good deal of imagination.]
"The temporomandibular joint [TMJ] is a diarthrosis joint that connects the mandible [lower jaw] to the temporal bone at the side of the skull. As a modified hinge joint, not only does the TMJ enable the jaw to open and close, it also enables the jaw to move forward and backward, as well as laterally." Disorders on this muscle are often the cause of a sleeping disorder called bruxism. It makes you clench your teeth while you sleep, or in some cases even when you're awake.

Okay, this is the part where your brains are required.

Try to imagine that scientific explanation spoken by a young and bright voice. A voice that is masculine and eloquent, also charming and attractive; as soon as you hear this voice you are taken in a time travel instant, when you are back to [my now favorite subject] adolescence, more specifically the sometimes dreadful high school. But this voice doesn't take you to that adjective part of the term, it takes you to the character who back then you wished you never cared about, but it was almost impossible: the guy. The voice belongs to that popular dude who you wanted to hate simply because your ego desired what he had, but at the same time you wanted to be around him simply because of his joyous features and outgoing behaviors. The voice belongs to a body no one could have resisted and that matched perfectly its relaxing and cheerful vibrations.

Now [present time] you enter its room and as soon as it greets you feel the curlew that is to melt you down. Then you look at the sound that is talking to you and the voice becomes the man! He is even shorter than you but uhg, he's just as you remembered from high school and that instantly makes him bigger. You shake hands [you don't want to let go of his], you see the gold ring on that finger [you let go]; and as he starts to explain you all those scientific craps in that old same captivating tone, you don't need a mirror to know that you're grinning like a child and as you sit on that feared chair you feel relaxed and tense at the same time, and not because of the place you're sitting. He asks what you do and you, very clichéd, stutter as you reply; now, wiser as you are, you understand why it was so hard to say no to that voice.

Then the man puts the Alanis Morrissette's MTV Unplugged; your evil ego immediately judges his [common] taste but you very silly says "I love that CD", he says he loves it too and there it is: the thing you needed to start daydreming, the first thing in common. He loves big cities [check], he moved a lot [check], lived a good deal of time in small towns [check], loves the option of being anonymous in big towns [check], has a mother with bruxism [check]... okay enough.

Then, you finally open your mouth. To him is a daily procedure from his labor; to you is the sign of perdition...

Did I mention I love to go to the dentist?

[Song: Light Years/I Feel Love - Kylie Minogue]

Happy Endings

There was a time in my adolescence [nowadays I hate what I was back then, but it's recent and always good blog material] that I used to think that being depressed was cool. I listened to Evanescene as if they were some sort of "deep-feelingsland" spokesmen, Alanis Morissette was G-d, Jewel was the angel and movies... yeah, the one that made me close to a suicide was the best ever! [Thank G-d I just saw Requiem For A Dream this year!]

So tonight, after rewatching one of the most hyped movies ever I needed a treat with a light, sweet and underrated story: Happy Endings. My friend has been talking so much about this film that I had no more excuse for not getting it. After having watched it, that tacky question came up to my mind; but along with a sort of new idea: I love happy endings!

No, it's not like that from now on I'm going to ignore all the sad tear-jerking stories that come along in whatever form [song, film, book etc]; there's still much love inside for The Hours and Stepmom, but if you ask me which [sad or bad endings] I prefer... you already know the answer.

I just assume that life is already shitty enough for us to cling to depression! In his book Power Of Kabbalah, ravi Yehuda Berg says that human beings' main desire is to be happy; we'll do pretty much everything to keep having the good injections of endorphin our cells give us whenever there's something that feeds that desire. We'll always be willing and able to keep the thrill. Some people [I'm judgement free here, I promise] get high by sabotaging themselves thus being depressed, others just choose the bright sides and live along. Oh, me? Well, give me a cute indie starlet singing a classic tune and I'll be all the way to [cheerful] tearyland!

As for Amy Lee: someone please shoot that Dracula wannabe; Alanis: amazing artist with some of ther best songs ever written, but far from being a role model now; Jewel: she'll play all her cheery songs on my wedding; and movies? Well, just give me them because they make me happy.

[Song: Just The Way You Are - Maggie Gyllenhaal]