Message To The Ho

Maybe my posts are weird cos this kind of stuff has rocked my socks. Hehe

Oscaruary: Marion And Cate

Just to start: I hated Elizabeth 2 because it was such a bad and over-the-top movie. But I often give up and have fun with the bad and the over-the-top!! 300, for instanse, if it was just bad I would've slept in the theatre, but there were over-the-top naked abs so it was fun. But 300 didn't get an Oscar nod by simple default and detriment of others; in normal circumstances I'd raise my lovely middle finger and just enjoy the over-worked campiness of Shekhar Kapur's movie, but yes I'm obsessed like that and have nothing better to do with my time.

However, in my intellectual [indirect] quarrels with the ho, I read on his review:

But when minutes later she is screaming "I keep my bitches on my collars" you wonder when did Blanchett stop playing Elizabeth and a deranged Norma Desmond arrived to play the Queen of Hearts from "Alice in Wonderland".

That was the best description of Blanchett's performance in it and it made me laugh so much that, in spite of still thinking the film sucks and that she didn't deserve that nod, I feel like I could've tried and enjoyed it a bit more. Yesterday I watched the first Elizabeth on TV and I wondered how such an okay movie could become that Mariah Carey meets Cher Tour! The thing is that whenever I think of The Golden Age and its Best Actress nod, I think of all the better performances and films that didn't make it to the shortlist due to Cate's default. Argh, whatever, she's so great that even her bad acting is convincing.

However, there's the other woman. The French one who was able to turn watchable [at least once] the dull movie that was La Vie En Rose: Marion Cotillard. "La Vie" was so disappointing that at first I didn't care much about Cotillard in it. However, senses hit me and I came to terms of what a genius beyond mimicry performance it was. When comparing "La Vie" to Ray the ho said:

a better version of myself: what we must ask ourselves here is what impressed us about Marion that didn't move a nerve on us from Ray?
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( Dressed In Red: tell me ur thoughts
a better version of myself: I think it all lies in how unshowy marion is. Jamie Foxx was all about the show and the tics and the Ray-ness of Ray, while Marion plays Edith like a woman first and like a world known diva later. I love that very first scene when she sings, where you can see all this fear in her eyes and then she opens her mouth and knocks everyone off their chairs.

So I started wondering for the first time about the way biopics intend to show humanity from the artists and end up just blabering on the myth. And we came to the conclusion that what makes a performance close to real humanity are the details. I mentioned Reese Witherspoon's tapping foot in Walk The Line; as Jose cited: "like Marion's annoying laughter. You'd see Edith being that sort of vulgar laugher? [...] Yes! She was raised by prostitutes and lived in the streets a lot, she wasnt a Grace Kelly."

The de-glamming factor also came along:

a better version of myself: and while the film sucks, Marion is
undeniably brilliant.
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( Dressed In Red...: exactly, I didn't know she was that young ho! Somehow I am very glad that I knew nothing about her before watching the movie.
a better version of myself: and that beautiful too
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( Dressed In Red...: exactly, [and] I didn't feel abused by the deglaming while watching it. I even thought Marion was one of those legendary french actresses that worked once in a while now.
a better version of myself: but is it really deglamming all the way?
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( Dressed In Red...: I know. It's not ONLY deglaming. Like Berry.
a better version of myself: I mean Piaf might not've been clasically pretty, but she was beautiful in her own way. I think Theron and Swank are worst deglamming than Berry.

In the end, even though "La Vie En Rose" isn't the movie we expected it to be, it had cute intentions ["cause in a way the musical biopic needed some sort of shakeup", said the ho], plus Cotillard turns it into a must-see, only for her genius and captivating performance. That's why I believe she captured Piaf's aura, made it her own and returned as bursting with vivacity acting. For that reason, if Marion wins the Oscar I will not be angry.

- Previous Oscaruary:
Juno
[Song: Sea Lion Woman - Feist]

Oscaruary*: Juno

*Might contain spoilers*

It all started when I read the ho's review for Juno. It said:

In the film's best scene Vanessa [Jennifer Garner] runs into Juno [Ellen Page] at a shopping mall. She asks if she can touch her belly. What follows is a one way dialogue that nothing else in the film ever compares to. This moment encompasses the overall mood it was trying to get for its heroine; a sort of limbo where her decisions started counting for once and how terrifying yet magical it all turned out to be. [Movies Kick Ass]

- The title character:

What followed was a whole discussion about the film's flaws. Alright, you might say we're negative bitches but if you wanna know all about blind raving on Juno just look at the cinema media at the moment.

We both thought Juno a lovely and tremendously cute movie, with charming quirky characters and awesome performances. But there's a irresponsability and some irrealities in it that is kind of freaky. I said:

That's my favorite scene as well: the one that stuck into my mind for ages and I totally agree with the grade, cos the film is mega cute and funny but somewhat irresponsible. I mean, alright its Juno's film and maybe twas Cody's intention to make it that way. But the way Juno moves through the story as if she's always too cool [she's cool for getting pregnant, she's cool for wanting to take it out, she's cool for deciding to keep it, and so it goes]… and how every one else seems to support her preposterousness…

To which the ho replied:

I know! Except Vanessa and her stepmom [Allison Janney].

The conclusion to that is that Diablo Cody's screenplay most of the times seemed to worship Juno's inconsequent behaviour.

- About reality:

Of course that we don't give a damn for the reality in the movies, but in the end of the day when you move on with your life it's the "level of abstraction" you've taken from it [or any other form of art] that says if it's important to you or not. By level of abstraction I mean how much of it stuck to your mind; like the ho said: "because they linger in your mind" when I said that the Loring couple is the only thing close to reality.

The ho goes further about it in his review, by saying:

Surprisingly this isn't a dark family drama, but a cute, "look at how quirky I am" indie comedy that uses its genre to avoid touching deeper repercussions (that nobody ever freaks out about all the STDs Juno could've gotten results a bit disturbing). [MKA]

I would add up abortion to the repercussions. The film chooses to avoid the discussion; till then it's alright. But it somehow reflects on how Hollywood deals with the subject as I read once on a Guardian blog.

Have you ever met a parent that treated a teenage daughter's pregnancy with such carelessness and sarcasm as Juno's father [J.K. Simmons]? Or a guy so idiotic that wouldn't want to participate on his own child's future [Michael Cera]? That leaves the Lorings and Juno's stepmom as the ones you would run into in real life.

About Mark Loring [Jason Bateman] the ho says:

Mark glows with rock star dreams he feels his wife stopped him from fulfilling, while she becomes oblivious to her husband's feelings, because for her they should've become one by now. Bateman's empty smile captures the joy of long lost dreams with the selfishness of refusing to grow up. [MKA]

On the MSN he mentioned a discussion with Andres about Vanessa:

I had a small discussion with Andres cause he said Vanessa was OCD and Mark was the coolest guy alive; [I said: I totally disagree.] (...) I do so as well, but that shows that the film only works effectively with them. G-d knows I wouldn't argue about the orange tic tacs.

I went further by saying that it's when the film tries to make us hate Vanessa for not being quirky like the others that the screenplay starts to fail. I mean:

What I think Vanessa was is a bit obsessive. She (oh so) wanted to have that baby and sometimes it felt like she didn't know why and that's where I also think that the Cody's screenplay fails as well. I felt that as Juno and Mark's relationship starts to evolve, it feels like the movie is trying to make us hate Vanessa for seeming so desperate. However, it's JUNO's movie maybe twas supposed to be that way; however again I bet a lot of people disliked Vanessa by the end of the movie (because they) thought she was cold.

And for a movie that loudly brags for being indie and quirky, judgement on difference should be the last thing to be endorsed. That leads to the thought that most of these lovely comedies with all its alternative languages and pop cultural screenplays are mostly the most [pardon the cacophony] conservative.

- About the Oscar, Ellen Page and Roger Ebert.

The ho: We sound like Ebert and [Richard] Roeper on their show; except Ebert jerks off to Juno but whatever, I think page will win.

Moi: I don't and hope not.

The ho: Well if I have to remind you, Ebert creates an oscar winner every year. Usually it's the one we'd never pick, but he's damn powerful like that.

Moi: Lol I know. But who knows, things've been so solid for Christie.

The ho: They'd been solid for Sissy Spacek in 01 as well. Until Ebert made a fierce Monster's Ball campaign.

In simple and short conclusion: we wouldn't choose Juno as 2007's Best Film, neither Page as the best actress. Even if we loved both.

*Oscarurary: since February is my Astral Hell month we named it Oscaruary so I don't think of it.

[Song: It's Cool To Love Your Family - Feist]

"You Should Blog This"

As Oscar Season approaches its end day by day, Lucas and Jose start to think and discuss about our favorite subject more fiercely: the Oscar's best actress race! But instead of just raving on this year's goddesses we'll be writing our most honest thoughts about each of the movies.
And the first happy fellow to trip under our bitchy talk will be:

[Song: Monarch - Feist]

Why We Rock Each Other's Worlds

a better version of myself diz:
hi
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( I'm The One diz:
hi
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( I'm The One diz:
ure so sexy
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( I'm The One diz:
ure here everyday?
a better version of myself diz:
i know
a better version of myself diz:
sometimes
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( I'm The One diz:
how YOU doin'?
a better version of myself diz:
im ok
a better version of myself *chews gum*
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( I'm The One diz:
shall we shag now or shall we shag later?
a better version of myself diz:
how much are ya paying me?
a better version of myself *plays with gum*
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( I'm The One diz:
how much do you want me to pay?
a better version of myself diz:
how much do ya have stud?
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( I'm The One diz:
how much do you think i have?
a better version of myself diz:
i cayn't count very well. but if ya have $5 i can do ya for a half hour
*chews gum*
)( Lucas Silvertongue)( I'm The One diz:
do u work with visa or master?
a better version of myself diz:
u.u
im amy ryan in gone baby gone
enough
[Song: (you got you got it, you're wow wow wow) Wow - Kylie Minogue]

My Celluloid Women

Here are the top 6 movie women that made my year marvelous in different ways.

6. Anna Scott [Julia Roberts - Notting Hill]

There she is, the greatest star in the world; maybe the face we all can't forget. And out of nowhere she gets in an unattractive travelbooks shop and lives are changed. This marvelous modern Cinderella story made me cry unashamedly on some of the darkest days of the year. Roberts' performance was both heartbreaking and lightful, portraying the poor celebrity with marvelous dignity. If in the past I felt more like Hugh Grant's character, today I'd be definitely Miss Scott - hyped but unloved. The beauty of the movie lies on the feeling of possibility that fills the air as you watch it. As Björk would say "all is full of love... your doors are shut."

5. Regina George [Rachel McAdams - Mean Girls]

"This girl is the nastiest skank bitch I've ever met. Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut!"

Those who had seen the movie know what I'm talking about. But for the newbies I'd start with "Regina George is flawless", not because she really is, but because she knows she is and parades it! From all the evil self-indulgent bitches out there, Regina George is the most fun of them. With a notable beauty she goes beyond the hot shallow High School queen, becoming an archetype of a human phase. Of course there is some exaggeration on Tina Fey's genius script, but this girl is real, she's everywhere and [believe it or not] on every age field.

Of course that most of Regina's charm is due to McAdams's performance; you can see she's having the time of her life as the blonde adolescent who thinks she's the cherry on the top of the sundae. Her jargons and laidback confidence match adoringly with her [mostly] subtle meanness. As Janis says "she's a life ruiner", but as Cady says "she's like de Barbie doll I never had."

4. Elle Woods [Reese Witherspoon - Legally Blonde]

The best quality of Elle Woods is that she is good! "She may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag"... but wait a minute, that's the #5! Elle Woods is GOOD!! She's sweet, helpful, devoted and hardworker. That's why you totally don't understand why that ugly-piece-of-shit Warner Huntington III breaks up with her. "You're breaking up with me because I'm too blonde?"

Further on we end up reassuring ourselves that breaking up with Elle was the best thing Warner could do to her, because she then created one of the best icons of this century so far. The way her triviality is never judged and is actually sweetened makes you adore her right away and hate those who mistreat her.

Besides, she's a twisted feminist icon, funnily competing with Enid, the lesbian activist from the same film; although she follows the preppy blonde stereotype, she's the reinvention of the feminist one. But above a feminist, Elle is a humanist! The best thing I learned with her was to have faith in people. As she'd say "you might be surprised."

3. Miranda Priestley [Meryl Streep - The Devil Wears Prada]
"Do you know why I hired you? I always hire the same girl- stylish, slender, of course... worships the magazine. But so often, they turn out to be- I don't know- disappointing and, um... stupid. So you, with that impressive résumé and the big speech about your so-called work ethic- I, um- I thought you would be different. I said to myself, go ahead. Take a chance. Hire the smart, fat girl. I had hope. My God. I live on it. Anyway, you ended up disappointing me more than, um- more than any of the other silly girls."
That's the worst thing you could hear from you boss right? Yup, we agree and there'll be no punchline here. Alright, I'm kidding! All I have to say is that no one could've said those lines better than La Streep with her Oscar-worthy performance as the most evil of the bitches: Miranda Priestley.
I'd say that she and Regina George are my favorite movie bitches, but what makes Miranda #1 is the fact that she's got reasons to be how she is; George is just a conceited teenager that is funny, hence we love her. But Miranda uses her meanness to keep herself where she is, on the top; and if she were a man everyone would say she's just doing her job, as Andy would say to defend her. The thing is that, despite the headeater behaviour, Priestley is a fine and perfect example of the modern executive women; and since we're keen to feminism, she's highly praised. That's all.
2. Lizzie Bennet [Keira Knightley - Pride & Prejudice]
Okay, I've written a million posts about this film and my Lizzie Bennet adoration. So, I'll limit myself in saying that the second Miss Bennet is still my favorite female character and that Keira is my favorite this-generation actress. I'm so damn happy she's got a Globe nod; I don't think she'll get an Oscar one, but I'm sure we'll have delicious red carpet moments!!
1. Bridget Jones [Renée Zellweger - Bridget Jones's Diary]
"Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs... Dad... Hi."
I loved talking about my Bridget devotion. But right now I lack inspiration! This year I've become her by drinking vodka at home and mourning the broken heart with tearjerking songs. But indeed I've said so much about Bridge that I'll just leave it for the ho this time.
"So beyond good and evil with me, that now I'm careless about being a spinster and a lunatic, if my life can be carried with at least half the joi de vivre with which Bridget carries hers. It also left me craving a snow filled make out session."
"Whenever I'm having a rainy day, it instantly makes me feel better."
"Behold as Renee Zellweger creates a cultural icon."
[Song: The Weather - Patrick Wolf]

Top 5: Music For The Road

Breaking my habit of only traveling by bus at night, Monday I came to Salvador by noon. The bus left at 30 past 12 and thankfully it had a conditioned air, because the heat was disgusting [the kind that makes you sweaty and viscous]. The night before I had got high, therefore I had a weird night/morning of sleep; but the point I'm trying to get is the music!
When I bought the Antony And The Johnsons and Björk's tickets I had planned in filling my mp3 player with their music and only, when the time came for me to go to Rio. Well, lines above you happened to know I ended up high and surely forgot to do that; but I'm glad. Coming to think about it I'd end up sick of them by half of the trip and the surprise of hearing the songs live must come fresh.
So in the bus, during my REM sleep, I played the folder with random artists and had wonderful trips. I've already posted about the sleep and music combo, how you come to have these crazy dreams and images flashing through your eyes, as you brain decides between sleeping and listening to the tune.
So, here follows the 5 tracks [+ bonuses] that gave me best dream-intros.
5. Gimme More - Britney Spears
Mhmm... I'd be wondering as well how could that catchy-but-lazy track by Miss Long-Time-Ago-Promissing-Pop-Princess bring good dreams. Well the thing is, to be in REM is like being under the influence of E and every little sound the penetrates your mind becomes powerful and dreamsome. Spears's track has lovely synth-details that woke me up to see that my hips were unconsciously moving.
4. I Talk Too Much [featuring Kylie Minogue] - Just Jack
Just Jack is the stage name of British singer Jack Allsopp. I never heard of him before the day his sophomore album was released and I happened to learn that he had a duet with my lovely Kylie Minogue. I downloaded I Talk Too Much from a Kylie fan-site and thought it was cool but didn't give much attention to it later, until I found myself having wild and crazy sleepy-imagery to Jack's rushy vocals, Minogue's acute and incisive voice and the wonderful horn samples from the track.
Note to self: download JJ's albums.
3. LDN - Lily Allen
Suddenly the lyrics came full and clear in my head and again the horn arrangements blew my mind away. Everytime I the song played I'd wake up to sing along, which is not bad cos this is one of my favorite tracks to sing along. It's pity I'm missing her show in São Paulo in two weeks.
2. Spell Of Desire - Kylie Minogue
This is one of the rejected tracks from Kylie's forthcoming tenth studio album. Produced by Mylo the
6-minutes-long song is a delicious fest of synthesized beats and spacebeeps [never as boring as Orbit's]; try to imagine this sci-fi atmosphere when you're half-awake/half-asleep. Like Sophie [Ellis-Bextor] would say I had to surrender to the party in my head. The wildest and marvelous abstract images became alive in my mind... but still not as powerful as the #1...
1. Stop Running Away [featuring Deborah Anderson] - Télépopmusik
This French trip hop group was presented to by the ho and now they remind me of Saint Etienne. Last year Jose told me to download Etienne and I ignored him; later I found myself addicted to the band.
When I felt I was waking up I forced myself to remain eye-shut, because the visions I was having shouldn't be erased by boring real imagery. It was Deborah Anderson's layered vocals on track "Stop Running Away" giving me the best dream I'd had in days. Suddenly I was a choir arranger conducting a group of fiveplets singing the wonderful lyrics, while I also played the beautiful and organic synths. No matter how thoughtfully I try to describe the feeling and sensation you will only know/feel what I'm saying after you listen to the track.
Right after SRA, came the wonderful Into Everything also featuring Anderson's sweet vocals but this time accompanied by marvelous beats and programming - and after the lovely surprise by its end I was all the into Télépopmusik's fandom-land.

Narcissism

I think I've finally come to the terms of my own beauty.

I never saw myself as a handsome person; at least not all the time. As adolescence was left behind and my face started looking even, not a Picasso painting, I started reckoning I like my countenance. But still I'm far from being a beauty queen and I like it.

I realized, a couple days ago, that my beauty isn't something easy to get. Not that I'm à la Ziyi Zhang, with such exotic features that you might strange at first, I actually have a pretty common face; but it's my personality that outbursts and enhances my physical features. And I simply can't and don't want to control that.

A person that barely knows me, told me once that I'm the kind of person who calls attention; whom, among a bunch of people, involuntarily stands out from everyone because my personality was grander than my body.

Rejection has been a long companion, but I never analyzed what could cause that. So, in a stroke of narcissism I've come to terms that it is not easy for a young gay guy to stick around someone who is so open about himself, his tastes, his beliefs. Even outted, some gay people feel the need to behave strict and straight; not that gay people has to follow a certain pattern of behavior, and straight people other, but when do we start behaving like ourselves?

Some guy I know is gay, but if someone don't tell you, you won't know. One day he had a skank and hash joint and start acting like Jack McFarland. Dropping the judgemental side of this whole speech, I remember the question the ho made me a couple days ago: "why doesn't anyone under 30 want us?" Probably it's because most of older men can already see beyond the silly rules of conduct ["don't be so talkative cos it's too feminine"; "don't be too eloquent cos it drives people away"...], and don't give a shit of what society will think.

Purki's got a boyfriend; one of the first things he told his beau before they start officially dating was that he, Purki, could offer no protection to him. Anyone who'd seen a guy walking too long with him would consider them as a couple; that because he's okay and open about his sexuality and had no intention in hiding that away.

In a small town's gay world things are even more tricky to understand; the colonial mentality prevent people from doing what they want and feel like. Purki also once told me that our clique tends to scare people away: we're too open about ourselves. He's right, we're too loud, we dress like it pleases us, we're too honest about our feelings and wishes, we speak loud when we want, we shake our asses when and the way we want, we drink heavily when we want; most importantly we say and do whatever we want whenever we want. Red also said that if you slap society on the face, it punches you back wherever it can hit. And damn yeah it hurts. But do I want to be a leader or a follower? A doer or a repeater?

In the end of these nonsensical rambling I realize this desire to be an achiever is part of my beauty, and I'm not prepared to put it off to please anyone else.

[Song: Forbidden Love - Madonna]

Madonna Week: Top 10 Most Underused Songs [Rectification]

If you check out last post's comments you'll see the ho bitching on me. Now here I am doing what he tells me.

Honorable Mention #2*:

- Skin [from Ray Of Light]

When I became a fan I started reading every trivia about everything Madonna did. When I was studying the Drowned World Tour I found out that many fans got pissed when they learned that "Skin" was substituted for Nobody's Perfect on the final setlist [they'd say "Skin" is way superior]. I LOVE "Skin", but it would not fit on the Geisha Set concept. However I agree that "Skin" deserved and deserves a live performance. This sound and rhythm cornucopia starts as if it's been playing forever; that way you soon find yourself immersed in a hopeless call for the sacred and the profane, in which she desperately claims for physical soothing ["put your hands on my skin"], while her mind tries to remind her she's "not like this all the time". All while you hear a melody that is just as desperate and apparently disconnected from itself and everything else, but is actually the perfect description of such person's state of mind.

For this reason [I mean, this whole abstraction] this song deserved to have a worthy live performance.

*Obviously this song would not be an HM, but I'm way too drunk now to think which position it'd reach on the list.

Madonna Week: Top 5 Madonna Live Moments

Yes!!! She's 49!! Every time I say that to people they either don't believe it or make wishes to be an almost-50-yr-old as hot as her. I don't need to wish that because I'm already as hot as her. Of course, I'm joking, but the thing is, if weren't for Madonna I wouldn't be this confident in my life. I recently said that The Power Of Good-Bye saved my life, but there are things from her, now that I'm already a die hard fan, that gets the best of me: the tours. Always multimedia concerts where she pushes all the buttons and boundaries of pop concerts. For the first installment of the Madonna Week, the ho and I chose our 5 most memorable moments of Madge on tours.

5. The Geisha Set - Drowned World Tour

Moi: It was the first Madonna live-thing that got me by the back and stunned. The naked upside-down dancers, the giant sleeves on Frozen's dress, the amulet on Nobody's Perfect, the kung fu fighting on Sky Fits Heaven, the beat up geisha on Mer Girl Part II, every little thing has a meaning and it's a marvel to unravel her art.

Ho: A dramatic performance of Frozen which has Madge dressed up as a neo Geisha leads us to one of the most creative set pieces she has ever done. Telling a small story of love, revenge and redemption she flies in the air, kicks everyone and ultimately is bruised and battered but with a smile of satisfaction in her face.

4. Like A Prayer - The Blonde Ambition Tour
Moi: There she is rubbing herself and shocking the puritans with that mock masturbation and suddenly the lights go out ['cept for a spotlight on her] and a voice goes: "G-d?!" That's how her heretic performance of "Like A Prayer" in the controversial BAT starts; to see her bouncing around like a naughty nun is like an adult and somewhat horny version of The Sound Of Music. Like she repeated couple of years later in Deeper And Deeper, "when you know the notes to sing you can sing most anything;" in her case: "you can do most anything".

Ho: In what would be seen by some as full catholicism mockery Madonna delivers the most lively performance of what's arguably her greatest song. Slowly giving path from the sacred to the mundane she does a remix of the song in which she is bold and even with the dated dance moves remains looking and feeling heavenly.

3. Vogue - The Re-Invention Tour

Moi: When it was confirmed at part of the 2004 tour's setlist I confess that I wasn't that familiar of it. Of course I knew it, but I was a newbie and didn't even know how to recite that marvelous rap with such grace. But when that woman on her late forties appeared on the stage with those boots flying on air while her head acted as base, I finally was certain that there was nothing she couldn't do. I now can recite the rap rap as graciously and still doing those Yoga moves.

Ho: Despite the lip synching, the mere sight of Madonna pulling off positions we mortals only would dream of and strutting her stuff in that beautiful corset, this performance injects energy and joy into anyone. Paying homage to her famous VMA performance she rocks the palace while her dancers strike poses and ask us to go along with the flow. To refuse it is out of the question.

2. The Cross [aka Live To Tell] - The Confessions Tour

Moi: Everyone's dang bored to know about all the controversy it dragged, so I'll just be about my feelings when I saw the beauty for the very first time. It was lazy bootleg video, but watchable; I, in contrary of everyone else, had decided not to judge the cross before seeing it. When that beautiful blonde woman appeared crucified my eyes were filled with water and when the final message was said I finally understood what that was all about; and I reverenced the Queen with tears.

Ho: As the distressing confessions from her dancers end, a church organ slowly fills the air and Madonna rises to the stage in a giant mirrored cross to sing one of her most powerful songs. Clad in a simple outfit and wearing a thorn cross she gives "Live To Tell" new life by making it about the apathy most people have and the way we ignore what's going on in the world. Before the performance is over, a giant blast of fire gives us chills and makes us feel for a second that we've descended to hell. For a minute back there, with all the controversy this performance sparked, I thought we were in the early 90s.

1. Erotica/You Thrill Me - The Confessions Tour

Moi: The routine, the sexiness, the marvelous new version the haunting Erotica got... I can't exactly decided what I like the most about this performance. The song made #3 on my last year's list and the choreography is the coolest I've ever imitated on parties [yes, I do such things]. Some might say that other more historic performances were more eligible for number one, but I don't give s hit for History, I just know this is the one that makes me feel like watching it forever.

Ho: For one, she completely reinvents a song which caused controversy when originally released because many people thought it to be too explicit. But with a new disco twist and a funky beat, she turns it into the ultimate love song, where we can't help falling in love with someone despite of their flaws. The routine is sexy as hell and Madge in that leotard puts anyone in a trance.

Resilience Part 2

Note to ho: I always knew resilience!!! Alanis Morissette taught me.
u.u
Another senseless post due to procrastination.
[Song: In My Arms - Kylie Minogue]

Bitchy Talk

When I set the ho to be the third interview I wished to do a happy birthday post to me by having him on my month. But then he disappeared due to [he says] school [but I’m sure he got drunk and neglected me] and I got sick and depressed… water under the bridge. Hence the Bitchy Talk had this hiatus filled with a feeling that the ho had to be my third guest, even if my birthday month is now – as he said - ages ago.

José Roberto Solís Mayén is one of the most fascinating human beings that I’ve ever had the luck to meet. It’s true that we never actually met, but I never felt that was entirely paramount for me to know that in him lies one of my role models. For that matter, when it dawned on me that I no longer had excuses for procrastinating his interview, I dried up. He knows everything about me and I know everything he tells me, and sometimes others I just catch on the gazillion kilometers of space between us; because of that I didn’t know exactly what to ask without sounding rambling. Until I asked Marce for some tips of what I could ask him, I realized this was not an interview for ME, but for whoever happened to read it. In my biased-but-honest opinion, the more people know about him the better the world will be.

We started calling ourselves “ho” after the genius Gwen Stefani line “take a chance you stupid ho”. “What You Waiting For” is a song that deals with inner strength and the struggle to connect with it; but it doesn’t deal with it in the corny Mariah Carey way, but with a feature that is very strong in us: self-deprecation. The ability of laughing at ourselves at the most adverse circumstances is something that should be experienced by everyone; when I realized [by having him calling me “ho”] he had the self-depreciation attached to a charming and adorable wit I knew he was to be the best of my friends.

In here you’ll find not nostalgic blablabla about the way we were [yes, we’re that old], but only a portion of how genius the ho, aka Jose, is. Enjoy.

[kks = ]
[Ms Walters = Lucas]

)( Lucas Potter Jones )( One Day It'll Happen: tell us what you are listening to.

a better version of myself [ho]: I'm listening to Love Profusion by G-d. Actually my Ipod's on Madonna shuffle.

LPJ: tell us about your relationship with LP.

ho: well, you know I never listen to full albums right?
LPJ: yup, you’re a sinner.

ho: and American Life was no exception; but I remember clearly during Easter 04, I took my CD to a the beach and fell asleep listening to it and I woke up to LP and I fell in love with it; it became my second fave song in the album, then I saw the video and had multiple orgasms. It was also my top song of that year.

LPJ: I remember that. And what's not hot about Madonna in flowery dress and beautiful CGI landscapes?

ho: the fact that it's the same as the Estée Lauder perfume ad. That was both one of her laziest, yet still breathtaking moments.

LPJ: lol, you tore my dreams on LP's video.

ho: robots don't dream.

LPJ: I must say I’m nervous myself.

ho: how come? Am I allowed to ask stuff? Lol

LPJ: yes you are… because I’m afraid this will become a trip to our memory lane [even if I never remember the way to mine]. At some point we'll be remembered our early days like old hags.

ho: uh oh. So you'll realize we're older than we look, and dumber than we seem.

LPJ: but I'll try to be professional.

ho: ok do so Barb.

LPJ: ’cept for the fact I’ll do you by the end of interview.

ho: u.u I don’t sleep with my interviewer. After Larry King gave me crabs I promised myself I’d never do that again.

LPJ: there's beladonna in the drink I gave you...

ho: stop the kking Ms Walters.

LPJ: … anyways. Was Madonna somehow a turning point in your life?

ho: actually I don't remember a life before her. And that's not as pathetic as it sounds. What I mean is, I grew up in a house where my mom's trademark album was the immaculate collection. when I have flashbacks of that era, the soundtrack is usually Material Girl or Papa Don't Preach. So in a way, I never found Madonna, she found me.

LPJ: But is there a moment in your life that she and her art were like paramount in some decision or such?

ho: well, you know I'm a very art driven person, but to this day I've yet to find something that has such an effect on me to turn my world around.

LPJ: everyone's aware of your other, I should probably say main passion: cinema.

ho: *nods*

LPJ: do you think Madonna and cinema will ever work?

ho: I think for me they have, just maybe not in the way people expect it. When I saw Evita for the first time I was dazzled, but for example the other day a friend was trashing Madge while we listened to Mazzy Star and I revealed to him that if it hadn’t been for Swept Away I’d probably have no idea who Mazzy Star were. She may not be such a good actress, but the way she's able to pull the strings behind the camera and infuse everything with all her knowledge still has an impact in the way people should see her films. And she's also a top showwoman. I’d take a hundred confession tours in a row before having to see another Hilary-Swank-as-a-man movie.

LPJ: hello, me too! Let’s form a club.

ho: we have one. The putinhas something club.

LPJ: which movie, when you think of the first movie you ever saw, comes instantly to your mind?

ho: hmmm, tough one. I have a very vivid memory of going to the theater with my grandma and great-uncle to watch Disney's Treasure Island, but I saw Bambi a gazillion times at home; and I’ve asked my dad and he tells me the first movie he took me to see was a Spanish cartoon and that I wouldn’t stop singing the songs for months after it.

LPJ: lol, which happens to be?

ho: I can never remember the name.

LPJ: your blog's name is one of my favorite things in life. *blushes*

ho: awww I never knew that before.

LPJ: resume in few words the power of pop culture in your life.

ho: well, it's like a drug to me. I can't imagine life without pop culture, yet sometimes I feel there are greater things in life that should interest me most, then again, as I like to say, everything's connected: pop culture has led me to paths that have changed who I am and what I think.

LPJ: same here. Especially because pop culture unashamedly [thank G-d] sucks from every other culture.

ho: yeah I know! But some people are too blind to realize that.

LPJ: was there ever a time that irked u? People being blind for things u like?

ho: not really, you know I have this weird thing: I want people to realize that the things I like are good, but when everyone likes what I like, it's like a turn off, I enjoy having things that I feel are entirely mine. Say Moulin Rouge! for example, I adore it to death, but when I listen to certain people saying it's their fave movie and knowing the kinds of things these people like and their complete ignorance of everything the film draws from, makes me feel like it's unworthy of my snob love towards it. lol

LPJ: lol we're ego sluts. Talking bout Moulin Rouge!,tell us the feelings you had during your very first screening.

ho: I went to the Honduran premiere.

LPJ: oh gawd there was no such thing in crappy Brasil.

ho: and I knew the songs by heart, cause I had the soundtrack months before, and to me in a way it was like the images had to live up to the sounds I’d heard. And boy did they do! To date, my first screening of Moulin Rouge! was the most electrifying experience I’ve had in a theater!

LPJ: did you cry at any moment?

ho: you know I never cry, but my eyes were watery from the moment it began, at first from excitement and then with utter sadness. But mostly I had a silly smile all through it.

LPJ: what about the corny-but-surprisingly-beautiful heart-shaped fireworks in I Will Always Love You in the Elephant Love Medley? How did you feel about it?

ho: I’m still waiting for them to appear whenever I kiss someone I’m madly in love with. hehehe

LPJ: that’s the cutest answer I always had to that question.

ho: *blushes*

LPJ: those fireworks were the moment I started to cry and you know I’m a whimper. Hosie, name three people that you think have influenced you deeply throughout your life.

ho: in what way?

LPJ: in any way.

ho: I’ll go with my dad, his mom and Madge.

LPJ: tell us about all of them dumbass.

ho: ok, you see my dad is the smartest guy I know. From an early age he taught me about books, films, music (I owe my love of Bossa to him). But I think his major influence on me has been his selfless ability to let me make my own choices; when I fuck up, he’s there to back me up though. My grandma taught me about the finer things in life. She introduced me to Fellini, caviar and champagne. And Madge, well she's like oxygen to me; she opened my eyes to Kabbalah and political consciousness in a way. I kinda feel guilty now for not saying my mom lol. But well, my mom's implicit with Madge I guess.

LPJ: lol, we and our mom troubles. Let’s leave them outta here; you can cry, I cannot.

ho: we both know you will, I won’t. lol

LPJ: … shut up!

ho: u.u

LPJ: what do you most hate about people?

ho: ignorance, and I don’t mean poor people who don’t go to school, but people who have the chance and still have such narrow visions as not to want and explore everything the world offers to them. I hate people that never try new things, I also hate people who talk in the movies. lol

LPJ: yaaaaaaaay, you’re me!

ho: I am. lol

LPJ: I also hate people who eat popcorn in theatres, they’re always too loud.

ho: then you hate me. I’m obsessed with candy corn. lol

LPJ: ew. That’s why you’re fat. u.u

ho: but just on blockbusters and chick flicks. I’m not fat. u.u

LPJ: I know you’re anorexic like me now. What do u most love about people?

ho: I love their ability to surprise me on any level. If it’s my family, I love when I learn old stories that are new to me. With my friends I love their ability to give me hope when everything looks so bad. And with artists I love their way of pushing boundaries and showing me more can be done and more should be done. I also love when people smile at me, a stranger's smile injects me with fuzzy energy every time.

LPJ: lol you slut.

ho: lol I don’t mean it in a sexual way, since I’m counting girls as well.

LPJ: slut anyway.

ho: I know but shhh…

LPJ: before we started we hurried to get a Kylie wallpaper. What’s the importance of Miss Minogue in your life?

ho: simply put, nobody puts a smile on my face like Kylie.

LPJ: I’m aware you have OCD. Is there some kind of secret in your life?

ho: my OCD is mostly gone.

LPJ: ohh tell me about it.

ho: I still have my little quirks, like cleaning my house like a madman.

LPJ: Bree.

ho: but what kind of secret do you mean?

LPJ: like something in your life u never reveal to anyone.

ho: if you're expecting a The Crying Game twist, I’m sorry to disappoint you, not really. I haven’t killed anyone, I haven’t fathered children in foreign countries and I wasn’t involved in Watergate. So I guess no secrets here. That doesn’t mean everyone knows me though, I’m a very private person.

LPJ: ahh-ha! I just found out your as old as the Watergate.

ho: reincarnation sweetheart.

LPJ: where do you think you want to live your whole life?

ho: I don’t really care about the place, as long as I’m with somebody I love (if it happens in NYC or Florence even better hehehe), but u know I thought life here would be hell for example, and now when I’m not here I miss the people and the places.

LPJ: it’s more about how we feel about ourselves than what the place has to offer. Do you agree?

ho: totally. Like I say, if I’m with good company I can enjoy hell.

LPJ: is there anything you think you could never learn?

ho: the forgetting part in forgive and forget. Also to ride a bike or a skateboard, I’m waaaaay too old to learn that now.

LPJ: I’ll teach you.

ho: u.u like Phoebe.

LPJ: well hosie, I’m afraid were close to a wrap.

ho: u.u I never cried.

LPJ: well I deeply never expected you to… But before it, choose an image that you think that describes you like no other.

ho: tough one [what happened during the ho's deliberative break]
Remember that part where Holly Golightly is looking into Tiffany's?

LPJ: I do

ho: that's me, I'm Holly Golightly looking into what I consider heaven, without getting the chance to ever make it mine. You see, like Holly all of my life I’ve dreamt of an absolutely perfect place where I’m going to be happy. But this place is so flawless in my dreams, that probably I’m scared of finding it and being disappointed; so like holly, I move in life avoiding emotional attachments because they make me vulnerable. But deep inside I’m dying to have someone kiss me under the rain, tell me everything will be ok and finally giving the cat a name.

LPJ: I don’t have to say that that’s beautifully heartbreaking.

ho: u.u don’t cry Barb!

More on the ho.
More Bitchy Talk.