Bad Timing

You know in this post I was supposed to tell how the author of the comment was revealed; in other words I was to talk about the rave I went last Sunday. I will, but not specifically.

Last night I went out to get drunk with the guys. The guys were a friend of mine, the Comment guy and his friends from college. I was an hour late and as soon as I arrived where they were, they paid the bill and we headed to another bar; they were all tipsy and it looked like The Alcoholic Tour 2007; the bar we stopped was this cheap place, actually a house where we went straight to the most hidden room. We were all sat and being loud as drunkards should be and somehow He and I ended up sitting by each other's side; I was nervous of course, you see I'm very outspoken and to-the-point with lust, but need I to say that daydreamings have much little to do with lust?

The atmosphere was sort of tense as they were left by themselves. Lucas had anticipated that moment for a while, it was his chance to get things started for real. But suddenly all his wittiness and slyness seemed to have gotten out of the room with the rest of their friends. Lucas mumbled and stuttered something, He kept looking at Lucas waiting for what he was to speak; Lucas pretended amnesia, he couldn't simply talk about his thoughts of the last days, his daydreaming and obsession. What if He decided to run away in the other direction?

As I said, I like taking the lead of things; controlling is what I mean. I'm the guy who goes straight to the point and say what I mean [with my usual metaphors and bitterness of course], I'm the crotch-grabber, the eager kisser... but there, at that moment all of this vanished away, I was just a guy with this huge feeling of possibility, desperately wanting his brain to work and create some cheap talk for that awkward hour. As you all know as well, I'm a lazy person; I don't care in doing the job when I must do it but when someone offers to do it for me it's a party!

He insisted in knowing what Lucas meant to say with the grunts; the latter hating inspiration for running dry at that odd moment just smiled and bit his lower lip; you might say this was a slutty move to make an impression, but Lucas bit his lower lip all the time, okay! And this time was more a sign of nerves than seduction. But suddenly He just came close, approached his head towards Lucas who felt this huge carnival inside of him and then they kissed.

He held my hand; after we kissed he held my hand; this might sound ordinary to you but it was new to me, no other guy had held my hand before. There's a part of me that never cared for that stuff, my Samantha Jones self was always pleased when they grabbed my ass so when he held my hand I didn't know how to react, so I just smiled and responded the gesture.

After they were kicked out of the bar [it was closing] they headed towards the same direction. Then Lucas felt this amazing feeling, because conversation flew normally. No weird silences, no out of sudden subjects, everything in the best of stream of consciousness way. They made out on every dark corner on the path, they talked about everything. Lucas mentioned the comment, saying how lovely it was; He thought Lucas would think it was cliché and corny. How could it be? Okay, it was bit cliché but a well conducted one, after all it had mystery enough to make Lucas feel curious and excited about it. "A secret admirer! I have a secret admirer, how cool is that!" He stepped back in time, in the first time they met in Spiritual Camp [don't ask!] 5 years ago. Lucas and his memory of course didn't remember him; "of course you wouldn't remember! I was just this 13-year-old brat asking you Shakira's album! But I liked you right there... you jumping in the pool with Alais playing around, you looked so cute. And I remember feeling all fuzzy when you sat by my side during one of the prayers," He told, making Lucas obviously melt; the things you notice and the things you don't. Lucas would've never thought of him as the writer of that comment, honestly Lucas didn't exactly remember him.

We sat on a bench under a tree in front of his condominium and we talked more; I mouthed around speaking in my usual Lorelai Gilmore way. Everything was great and cute; I felt romantic but not mellow, realizing we had a lot in common like sarcasm and irony ["everyone who hates irony should die!"] and I couldn't help but thinking of what a bad timing this all was happening... me going to Salvador by the end of the week. Uhg! But you know what fuck it! I could choose not to go through it, but then I wouldn't be feeling this cool. It might be bad timing, but it's the time we have and I'm gonna enjoy it! At least I won't be filled with regret for have let it go when I had the chance to hold it. Fuck bad timing!

Lucas: "I was hit by 3 guys at the rave, but none of them had intersted me. I don't know why..."

He: "I love the way you dance!! So free and careless... your hair, your smile, your lips. You were beyond cute that night."

Lucas: "You're kidding me? I dance like a cuckoo whore!"

He: "No you don't!"

Lucas: "You were the cute one! I remember looking at you in the morning and realizing at that moment that I wanted you."

Maybe you [aka I] could say we're late, after all the comment was posted almost a year ago. But who said that Saturday is our deadline? It's not like we're dying anytime soon, and it's not like we're already dating, to the point of having to maintain a distant relationship. So like everything else in my life, I'll jump on it. No I'm not letting go of my control freakness, but maybe it won't hurt to pause it for a while.

Let it will be...

[Song: Hug My Soul - Saint Etienne]