... life as a movie!

What wouldn't I give now for a fuck buddy? Just someone to chill, have a good talk over cappuccino and then lead for a bed somewhere and release the hormons. Nowadays I'd even skip the cappuccino part... But my longer for intimacy wouldn't allow it and it has made me sort of cynical lately. A week ago I met the guy who gave me the "impressive instant" from early August and it was a blast. But I don't know if I told [and I probabaly didn't] but I noticed he wasn't boyfriend material.

There are two basic things with which I can explain why that; both are ego-driven but only one is clearly ego-appealing. [You gotta guess which!]

The first is: he was kind of dumb; I mean, not that we actually had time to talk about serious things, but I sensed a certain air of ignorance and superficiality around him. The way he bent down to his supposed-ex's fairy-queene friend was kind of pitiful; probably he felt guilty and thought that being obsequious would redeem himself, which means he wasn't a very strong person, so...

The second thing is: he was the ultimate ego-pleaser. He called me hot, told me that my kiss was breathtaking and tore himself down on compliments, to me! You know I'm in the struggle to destroy my ego, but that was a lot and made me so fucking horny... well you know what happened.

Then, those two little facts perhaps wouldn't allow me to be in a relationship with Tiago [remember I'm doing suppositions based on them], but I know he would turn out to be a very good fuck buddy. And before this post stars to sink in "woulda, shoulda, couldas" let me go to the point: I still WAAAAAAAAAAANT [yeah that way] romance!!! I'm close to the point of going to one of those blind dates reality shows... uh, okay not so much. But the thing is: I want to share romance, I want to step ahead the daydreaming that's been boring me currently and wage intellectual intercourse!

So, last Tuesday, as I waited for my flight to Salvador at Guarulhos airport in São Paulo, I took courage to pay an absurd just for the sake of killing boredom and checking out my emails. Then comes my surprise: a guy emailed me!! He said he saw my profile on match.com and decided to email me. I felt so flattered and fuzzy inside!! You know me, the more down-to-earth and sober I may try to be I can't help feeling all perky and bouncy with the feeling of possibility! But few days after my last reply to his last email, nothing happens and I'm starting to get very cynical all over again.

So oh G-d, when will I stop pretending my life is the movies I watch and so much love?! Hmm... well actually, deep down I don't want to. I mean, during this period of dryness and absolutely no metaphysical fun filled with cynicism and impatience the movies and the books have given me at least fantasy. While I don't actually find my so-called-knight-in-shiny-armor-rescuer man I stick with the William Holden-s, Cary Grant-s, Micheal Vartan-s etc etc. As my lovely Ho says: "I believe in film romance"!

And to give a perfect closure to my romance-craving post guess which is the Movie Of The Day on IMDB?! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058450/ Yeah!! I want myself a Nino Castelnuovo but this time with a very and cute happy ending. I'm sick of the sad ones so overrated by the intellectual wannabes!! I want a film romance!!

PS: Ho, a cookie if you guess which actor I went to check out the name's correct spelling on IMDB! ;)

[Song: Skin - Madonna]