Bitchy Talk

When I set the ho to be the third interview I wished to do a happy birthday post to me by having him on my month. But then he disappeared due to [he says] school [but I’m sure he got drunk and neglected me] and I got sick and depressed… water under the bridge. Hence the Bitchy Talk had this hiatus filled with a feeling that the ho had to be my third guest, even if my birthday month is now – as he said - ages ago.

José Roberto Solís Mayén is one of the most fascinating human beings that I’ve ever had the luck to meet. It’s true that we never actually met, but I never felt that was entirely paramount for me to know that in him lies one of my role models. For that matter, when it dawned on me that I no longer had excuses for procrastinating his interview, I dried up. He knows everything about me and I know everything he tells me, and sometimes others I just catch on the gazillion kilometers of space between us; because of that I didn’t know exactly what to ask without sounding rambling. Until I asked Marce for some tips of what I could ask him, I realized this was not an interview for ME, but for whoever happened to read it. In my biased-but-honest opinion, the more people know about him the better the world will be.

We started calling ourselves “ho” after the genius Gwen Stefani line “take a chance you stupid ho”. “What You Waiting For” is a song that deals with inner strength and the struggle to connect with it; but it doesn’t deal with it in the corny Mariah Carey way, but with a feature that is very strong in us: self-deprecation. The ability of laughing at ourselves at the most adverse circumstances is something that should be experienced by everyone; when I realized [by having him calling me “ho”] he had the self-depreciation attached to a charming and adorable wit I knew he was to be the best of my friends.

In here you’ll find not nostalgic blablabla about the way we were [yes, we’re that old], but only a portion of how genius the ho, aka Jose, is. Enjoy.

[kks = ]
[Ms Walters = Lucas]

)( Lucas Potter Jones )( One Day It'll Happen: tell us what you are listening to.

a better version of myself [ho]: I'm listening to Love Profusion by G-d. Actually my Ipod's on Madonna shuffle.

LPJ: tell us about your relationship with LP.

ho: well, you know I never listen to full albums right?
LPJ: yup, you’re a sinner.

ho: and American Life was no exception; but I remember clearly during Easter 04, I took my CD to a the beach and fell asleep listening to it and I woke up to LP and I fell in love with it; it became my second fave song in the album, then I saw the video and had multiple orgasms. It was also my top song of that year.

LPJ: I remember that. And what's not hot about Madonna in flowery dress and beautiful CGI landscapes?

ho: the fact that it's the same as the Estée Lauder perfume ad. That was both one of her laziest, yet still breathtaking moments.

LPJ: lol, you tore my dreams on LP's video.

ho: robots don't dream.

LPJ: I must say I’m nervous myself.

ho: how come? Am I allowed to ask stuff? Lol

LPJ: yes you are… because I’m afraid this will become a trip to our memory lane [even if I never remember the way to mine]. At some point we'll be remembered our early days like old hags.

ho: uh oh. So you'll realize we're older than we look, and dumber than we seem.

LPJ: but I'll try to be professional.

ho: ok do so Barb.

LPJ: ’cept for the fact I’ll do you by the end of interview.

ho: u.u I don’t sleep with my interviewer. After Larry King gave me crabs I promised myself I’d never do that again.

LPJ: there's beladonna in the drink I gave you...

ho: stop the kking Ms Walters.

LPJ: … anyways. Was Madonna somehow a turning point in your life?

ho: actually I don't remember a life before her. And that's not as pathetic as it sounds. What I mean is, I grew up in a house where my mom's trademark album was the immaculate collection. when I have flashbacks of that era, the soundtrack is usually Material Girl or Papa Don't Preach. So in a way, I never found Madonna, she found me.

LPJ: But is there a moment in your life that she and her art were like paramount in some decision or such?

ho: well, you know I'm a very art driven person, but to this day I've yet to find something that has such an effect on me to turn my world around.

LPJ: everyone's aware of your other, I should probably say main passion: cinema.

ho: *nods*

LPJ: do you think Madonna and cinema will ever work?

ho: I think for me they have, just maybe not in the way people expect it. When I saw Evita for the first time I was dazzled, but for example the other day a friend was trashing Madge while we listened to Mazzy Star and I revealed to him that if it hadn’t been for Swept Away I’d probably have no idea who Mazzy Star were. She may not be such a good actress, but the way she's able to pull the strings behind the camera and infuse everything with all her knowledge still has an impact in the way people should see her films. And she's also a top showwoman. I’d take a hundred confession tours in a row before having to see another Hilary-Swank-as-a-man movie.

LPJ: hello, me too! Let’s form a club.

ho: we have one. The putinhas something club.

LPJ: which movie, when you think of the first movie you ever saw, comes instantly to your mind?

ho: hmmm, tough one. I have a very vivid memory of going to the theater with my grandma and great-uncle to watch Disney's Treasure Island, but I saw Bambi a gazillion times at home; and I’ve asked my dad and he tells me the first movie he took me to see was a Spanish cartoon and that I wouldn’t stop singing the songs for months after it.

LPJ: lol, which happens to be?

ho: I can never remember the name.

LPJ: your blog's name is one of my favorite things in life. *blushes*

ho: awww I never knew that before.

LPJ: resume in few words the power of pop culture in your life.

ho: well, it's like a drug to me. I can't imagine life without pop culture, yet sometimes I feel there are greater things in life that should interest me most, then again, as I like to say, everything's connected: pop culture has led me to paths that have changed who I am and what I think.

LPJ: same here. Especially because pop culture unashamedly [thank G-d] sucks from every other culture.

ho: yeah I know! But some people are too blind to realize that.

LPJ: was there ever a time that irked u? People being blind for things u like?

ho: not really, you know I have this weird thing: I want people to realize that the things I like are good, but when everyone likes what I like, it's like a turn off, I enjoy having things that I feel are entirely mine. Say Moulin Rouge! for example, I adore it to death, but when I listen to certain people saying it's their fave movie and knowing the kinds of things these people like and their complete ignorance of everything the film draws from, makes me feel like it's unworthy of my snob love towards it. lol

LPJ: lol we're ego sluts. Talking bout Moulin Rouge!,tell us the feelings you had during your very first screening.

ho: I went to the Honduran premiere.

LPJ: oh gawd there was no such thing in crappy Brasil.

ho: and I knew the songs by heart, cause I had the soundtrack months before, and to me in a way it was like the images had to live up to the sounds I’d heard. And boy did they do! To date, my first screening of Moulin Rouge! was the most electrifying experience I’ve had in a theater!

LPJ: did you cry at any moment?

ho: you know I never cry, but my eyes were watery from the moment it began, at first from excitement and then with utter sadness. But mostly I had a silly smile all through it.

LPJ: what about the corny-but-surprisingly-beautiful heart-shaped fireworks in I Will Always Love You in the Elephant Love Medley? How did you feel about it?

ho: I’m still waiting for them to appear whenever I kiss someone I’m madly in love with. hehehe

LPJ: that’s the cutest answer I always had to that question.

ho: *blushes*

LPJ: those fireworks were the moment I started to cry and you know I’m a whimper. Hosie, name three people that you think have influenced you deeply throughout your life.

ho: in what way?

LPJ: in any way.

ho: I’ll go with my dad, his mom and Madge.

LPJ: tell us about all of them dumbass.

ho: ok, you see my dad is the smartest guy I know. From an early age he taught me about books, films, music (I owe my love of Bossa to him). But I think his major influence on me has been his selfless ability to let me make my own choices; when I fuck up, he’s there to back me up though. My grandma taught me about the finer things in life. She introduced me to Fellini, caviar and champagne. And Madge, well she's like oxygen to me; she opened my eyes to Kabbalah and political consciousness in a way. I kinda feel guilty now for not saying my mom lol. But well, my mom's implicit with Madge I guess.

LPJ: lol, we and our mom troubles. Let’s leave them outta here; you can cry, I cannot.

ho: we both know you will, I won’t. lol

LPJ: … shut up!

ho: u.u

LPJ: what do you most hate about people?

ho: ignorance, and I don’t mean poor people who don’t go to school, but people who have the chance and still have such narrow visions as not to want and explore everything the world offers to them. I hate people that never try new things, I also hate people who talk in the movies. lol

LPJ: yaaaaaaaay, you’re me!

ho: I am. lol

LPJ: I also hate people who eat popcorn in theatres, they’re always too loud.

ho: then you hate me. I’m obsessed with candy corn. lol

LPJ: ew. That’s why you’re fat. u.u

ho: but just on blockbusters and chick flicks. I’m not fat. u.u

LPJ: I know you’re anorexic like me now. What do u most love about people?

ho: I love their ability to surprise me on any level. If it’s my family, I love when I learn old stories that are new to me. With my friends I love their ability to give me hope when everything looks so bad. And with artists I love their way of pushing boundaries and showing me more can be done and more should be done. I also love when people smile at me, a stranger's smile injects me with fuzzy energy every time.

LPJ: lol you slut.

ho: lol I don’t mean it in a sexual way, since I’m counting girls as well.

LPJ: slut anyway.

ho: I know but shhh…

LPJ: before we started we hurried to get a Kylie wallpaper. What’s the importance of Miss Minogue in your life?

ho: simply put, nobody puts a smile on my face like Kylie.

LPJ: I’m aware you have OCD. Is there some kind of secret in your life?

ho: my OCD is mostly gone.

LPJ: ohh tell me about it.

ho: I still have my little quirks, like cleaning my house like a madman.

LPJ: Bree.

ho: but what kind of secret do you mean?

LPJ: like something in your life u never reveal to anyone.

ho: if you're expecting a The Crying Game twist, I’m sorry to disappoint you, not really. I haven’t killed anyone, I haven’t fathered children in foreign countries and I wasn’t involved in Watergate. So I guess no secrets here. That doesn’t mean everyone knows me though, I’m a very private person.

LPJ: ahh-ha! I just found out your as old as the Watergate.

ho: reincarnation sweetheart.

LPJ: where do you think you want to live your whole life?

ho: I don’t really care about the place, as long as I’m with somebody I love (if it happens in NYC or Florence even better hehehe), but u know I thought life here would be hell for example, and now when I’m not here I miss the people and the places.

LPJ: it’s more about how we feel about ourselves than what the place has to offer. Do you agree?

ho: totally. Like I say, if I’m with good company I can enjoy hell.

LPJ: is there anything you think you could never learn?

ho: the forgetting part in forgive and forget. Also to ride a bike or a skateboard, I’m waaaaay too old to learn that now.

LPJ: I’ll teach you.

ho: u.u like Phoebe.

LPJ: well hosie, I’m afraid were close to a wrap.

ho: u.u I never cried.

LPJ: well I deeply never expected you to… But before it, choose an image that you think that describes you like no other.

ho: tough one [what happened during the ho's deliberative break]
Remember that part where Holly Golightly is looking into Tiffany's?

LPJ: I do

ho: that's me, I'm Holly Golightly looking into what I consider heaven, without getting the chance to ever make it mine. You see, like Holly all of my life I’ve dreamt of an absolutely perfect place where I’m going to be happy. But this place is so flawless in my dreams, that probably I’m scared of finding it and being disappointed; so like holly, I move in life avoiding emotional attachments because they make me vulnerable. But deep inside I’m dying to have someone kiss me under the rain, tell me everything will be ok and finally giving the cat a name.

LPJ: I don’t have to say that that’s beautifully heartbreaking.

ho: u.u don’t cry Barb!

More on the ho.
More Bitchy Talk.

Le Marce Interview

It took a while for my friend Marce, from The Dark Girl's Rhyme, send me the questions but I'm gladly and quickly answering them now.

1. Explain what talent or ability you don’t possess you would like to have.

Singing. I sing all the time; my dad sings okay, my late godmother sang beautifully and I have a dearly cousin, Clarissa, who sings like an angel [except that she's no angel at all]. I've always had a musical upbringing; more than anything else in life we had music in home, constantly. So I've always sung along; if you see me walking by or driving in a silent mode, it might not be me. But there's a problem, I have no vocal technique; sometimes I hear myself and know I don't have a horrible voice, others I just feel glad I'm home alone and nobody's hearing me... okay maybe the neighbors hate me. But I'm sure to do some vocal lessons in the future... I only hope the coach doesn't look at me and feel an unbearable urge to rip his/her ears off.

2. What event in your life, if any, has changed radically your way of thinking?

Among many, probably the most recent and vivid one: the post-teen crisis. Last year when I turned 19, my shrink told me about this mini-crisis that goes over most adolescents' heads; it's basically the fear of growing up, when you get to the age when you are a legal adult [you can buy lawful drugs like alcohol and cigarettes, and be arrested] but in your mind and actions you're still a teen. This is pretty shitty to most people because as you know, we're lazy as fuck and have egos lazy as fuck, so when there's a time of changing we somehow refuse to do so, that's why there's a lot of 18/20-years-old who act like twelves.

When I got to this I was already aware of it so I could recognize some things, like this little fear I have with responsability. The acknowledge of these aspects created my "about me" on the blogger profile [that one at the right-side bar]; in other ways, this crisis [that is still on] helps to look back and see I'm young and still have time to accomplish things, at the same time I look forward and know that even so I haven't got much time to waste.

3. What work of art has had a deep impact in your life? It can be a film, song, painting, book, sculpture, anything.

Since I'm a list whore I'll do a small one to answer this.

- Moulin Rouge turned me into a musicals lover, which had pretty much impact in my life, considering I'm always playing musicals in my head, like Selma: "There is always someone to catch me/When I'd fall."

- The book Sophie's World changed my life; it helped me seeing that this life could be just a tale from someone else's imagination, that could end at anytime and for that I must be present and living all the time. Sounds corny, but it had a damn effect on me... and the book is not a pinch corny.

- Well, I did a while ago a top 5 with the songs that changed my life; if interested just read the Unthinkable Surprises Top 5.
4. Explain the most irrational fear you have.

Spiders. I have no idea when it started; probably one day I just woke up and my brain decided I hated them. Nah, actually I recall that one of my most meaningful childhood traumas was watching the movie Arachnophobia, ever since I don't wear a pair of pants or shoes without shaking them off crazily to see if they're free of these eight-legged monsters. I'm scared of them all, even the tiny useless ones that hasn't enough poison to make a wound, still sting and I know it hurts, even if I never were stung by any.

5. If you were a musician, what kind of band would you have and what kind of music would you play? Name that band.

It'd be a poser band à lá Cansei de Ser Sexy. The performances would be in a rockish-poser form and I'd be the lead singer of course; the job would be performed in the best Madonna style and the repertoire would include, besides our own compositions, pop classics from Madonna [duh], Kylie, Björk and everyone else we liked. The band would be called The Drunkards or The Cigarette Club.

Depression Movies #1: A Rouge Holiday With Saudade

When on Friday I saw on IMDb that it was Audrey Hepburn's birthday I instantly decided to homage her by doing a Hepburn marathon as soon as I got home from college; but I was so tired when I arrived that it'd be hard to watch three movies in a row, so I had to pick one. Many would choose Breakfast At Tiffany's on the first hand, but even though I love it to death, differently from the other titles I have, I've seen it like a million times. So I chose Roman Holiday: Audrey's first hit in Hollywood, Audrey's first and only Oscar [I don't count the honorary ones].
On this second screening of this Paramount classic I wondered how would be like if Audrey had the chance to work with Woody Allen. I did it because this woman's sense of naturalness in her acting is so vibrant that even if you see her in some flamboyant and hardly-to-happen situations like in Roman Holiday, you still feel like they're the most common thing to happen.
Well, in it Audrey plays the young Princess Ann who for political duties is touring around Europe. In her stop in Rome she's clearly tired and bored, like any young person would be, and decides to flee so she can see the vivid Roman nightlife. So, things happen and she ends up spending the whole following day with a sly and mischievous American journalist [a marvelous and absolutely charming Gregory Peck] who, realizing he's in the company of such royalty intends to do a bombastic sensationalist report on her. Like many other classics this movie has become pop culture icon and was imitated by many other movies and medias [even Sabrina, the teenage witch]; so for me it's an amusement to watch and try to remember where else I've seen those scenes.
Despite tiny flaws, [we hardly feel Princess Ann and Joe Bradley's affair grow, you simply know it's going to happen and it simply does] superficially this is a movie at cinema's basic premise: entertaining; but of course there's more to it than this. As you follow their adventures on Rome's beautiful and historic landmarks you experience a young woman maturing in front of your eyes. Ann goes from an innocent girl crashed by her larger-than-life duties to a woman finally aware of her importance to her country; and she gets to it by living - even for only one day - her life as she pleases and doing the expected things from a normal adolescent [even if Ann's age is never specified]. That becomes clear when she enters a beauty salon and cuts her hair, as an act of desire for independence, and it makes us wonder if the young should really mature as early as nowadays, missing that way things that will mold them for the rest of their lives.
Audrey Hepburn seems at each moment to be in perfect knowledge of it and owns Ann with sublime and subtle acting [what's that scene when she finds out Joe and Irving are journalists!]. During the shootings Gregory Peck raved on Hepburn's acting abilities and said she should and would win an Oscar for her portrayal of Ann. And well she did, beating established and genius stars like Ava Gardner and Deborah Kerr [as the mysterious and mesmerizing Karen Holmes from From Here To Eternity].

All the colors, music and vibrant life in Moulin Rouge! disguises a deep and sorrowful love story. We all know the ending is beyond sad, but few people realize that it's the culmination of elements that have been explicited since the begining. The fact that Satine's death is revealed on the first ten minutes of the picture is a warning that this is no sappy musical we're watching. For me, this is one of the most heartbreaking and dark movies ever made; I decided to watch it last night due to life synchrony and I was aware it'd be a tearjerking experience.
The contrast between the pop culture carnival and the dark melodrama from the screenplay is delivered by Baz Luhrmann in a glitzy and so glamourous way that you can't help having your jaw dropped, your eyes watered, your body chilled; the kitsch and all over-the-place sets and costumes get wonderfully joyous when you hear all those wonderful songs glued perfectly like the soundtrack of our lives. I mean, if your life were a musical it'd be filled with the songs you listen to everyday; so it's pure amazement to watch Moulin Rouge and sing-along those songs as if you were listening to a mixtape.
Then there's that Kidman woman razzle-dazzling us all with her milky skin and violent red hair combined with that gorgeous blue cinematography. For me Kidman is on the top of her game here; this is my favorite performance of her so far, because she does absolutely everyhting here: she sings, dances, comes down from a trapeze, does comedy, romance and drama all in her first ten onscreen minutes. After that her Satine brings a rollercoaster of emotions and a charisma so hard to find [and still those old sons of bitches gave the Bald Man to that hateful bitch Berry]. Later, when that naughty Christian boy [the always hot and perfect Ewan McGregor] sings her that song, that song we all claim as ours, it's impossible for us not to root for their love.
Oh, and there's Kylie Minogue! It took me millenia to find out that the Green Fairy is her, but now everytime I see it I longer for the moment she pops out of the absinth bottle and turns The Sound Of Music into a sexy and horny thing. She being in such project makes me love Baz even more, meaning he's tuned up to every aspect of the cult, including the underrated G-ds like Minogue. Kylie's cameo in it is one of those pleaseant surprises I love in movies and one of the various others in Moulin Rouge. I abso-fucking-lutely love when Christian and Satine fly to the top of the roof on Your Song and the Singin' In The Rain reference; or the heart-shapped fireworks on I Will Always Love You [not to mention the whole Elephant Love Medley]; and oh man, talk about Material Girl in Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friends.
So in the end, Baz's pop culture collage feels like a musical should make you feel but better, simply because it turns the world in a more happy and beauitful place despite its darkness. And since I'm a sucker for cathartic experiences, this movie is for me the one I need to watch whenever I'm melancholic or romantically crushed; and here stays the tip.

Ages ago I was talking with the ho about how Almodóvar makes his actresses look so hot and desireable even when they're not beautiful; a great example is Rossy De Palma. Last year he turned Penélope Cruz into a real woman again, dropping behind the American startlet image Hollywood imposed to her. So, last night as I watched Hable Con Ella for the second time I got this idea to my mind again. The way Rosario Flores looks masculine and manly is just the cover of a huge feminility she exhales whenever she's onscreen.
But for me, in this 2002 masterpiece Pedro goes mostly about a Portuguese word that is hard to be translated to other languages: saudade. Basically it is like when you miss someone in a way your mind stays caught up into nostalgia. And in this movie it's portrayed in a heartbreaking yet quirky fashion that only Almodóvar can do. Marco missed so much his troubled wife that he cried whenever he lived something sublime and emotional. Why? Because he didn't have her next to him to share it. That's saudade my friends.Another thing that hooked me on this second screening was all the cute flirts he does with Brasil. You all know Caetano sings Cucurrucucú Paloma in it; before that, on the first bullfighting scene the song played is Por Toda A Minha Vida by Elis Regina and Tom Jobim; later Marco cites a Jobim song to Lydia [How Insensitive]; and among the guides written by Marco, there's one from Brasil.

Hable Con Ella by the end turns out to be a beautiful essay about solitude pinched with saudade, where Almodóvar shines his adorable style homaging the art of Cinema [this time the silent era] and using polemic plotlines; but for me this is a movie that has such a hopeful and lightful end that it reassured on me the power of good-bye; but also incited my current desire for love, and I'm not talking about sex.

[Song: Lamb - Gorecki]