Thursday, November 30, 2006


"The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated."
- Eliza Doolittle
After Professor Henry Higgins throws away the ring and Eliza thinks he will beat her, she dramatically bends over the fireplace and soils her hands with ashes. And there she is, the outstanding lady who had just drawn the attention and admiration from everyone at the Embassy Ball breaking down the faux, revealing her origins: Eliza Doolittle was not a lady, she was a flower girl.
In British/European societies the differences between classes are very well defined and rarely changed; no matter if you worked your whole life to become a well succeeded nouveau riche you will always be inferior to the aristocratic minds of the high society [even the Escaladers tend to adhere to that mentality].
My point in all this cinematical/sociological blabbering is our roles as inhabitant of this global web. Here we have Audrey Hepburn giving life to one of the most charismatic and deep characters ever created. [I don't care if she was dubbed on the musical numbers or if she never performed it on the stage; it's Audrey Hepburn everyone thinks about whenever they hear the words My Fair Lady/Eliza Doolitttle.] When she was the flower-gal she simply survived, living through the days just to keep herself alive; after being educated by Professor Higgins and Colonel Pickering she is a woman aware of her role on society. Is she?
When Eliza soils her hands, still dressed on her "princess costume" she realizes she doesn't know who she is, so she flees to find out who is the real persona inside her, she goes out to find herself; when she returns to her original place no one can recognize her, after all what such a lady as herself could be doing among a group of beggars? We let the outside-world define who we are and what we ought to do; all Eliza knew was that she was a "good gal" who sold flowers on the streets; that was her duty, that was her role on the play. But when she's offered a new position and she learns how to behave in that place she can't decide if she's worthy of all that, because everyone always told her she wasn't.
My Fair Lady's plot happens in the 1920's and back then human relations were still stiff and rigid like that. In another movie that portrays that same era, Robert Altman's Gosford Park, in a particular scene all the servents declare they have come from a long lineage of servants, their parents were, their grandparents were as well and so will be their kids; just today my father was telling that back in the 60's the prostitutes weren't allowed to frequent downtown because they would be tarnishing the town's morality. But nowadays, things are different, right? Society has evolved and permitted people to define themselves for themselves.
I wouldn't say so. We are still told what to do, what to be, how to behave, who to worship and follow, what to say, what to believe and the beat goes on. In Kabbalah we are taugh that we are the responsibles for every little thing [good or bad] that happens in our lives; so why do we still let ourselves be governed?
When Eliza Doolittle said that the difference between a lady and a flower girl was the way she is treated, she wasn't placing the blame on everyone else for her grace or disgrace. At that moment she was realizing that people would always judge her and always draw itineraries for her life; but it's only when you look inside yourself and assume who you are and take control of your own life is when you will be treated like a lady. At the moment she knew she was a lady because she wanted and chose to be so.
So once again I go about this: it's all about choices...
[Song: Wouldn't It Be Lover-ly? - Audrey Hepburn]

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Unconsciously, the previous post was some kind of prelude to that famous New Year resolution list that we all put effort in doing, but few of us actually practice them.
Well, knowing me as you do in which box do you think I fit in? I don't believe we should plan our lives because a lot of things in it doesn't depend on our simple will and desires, but there are some things that we can think in advanced, some targets and goals to be accomplished. I don't do a list à lá Bridget Jones, but I set goals I want in life and pose myself to try to do them in the year-to-come.
That in theory. Since I never actually write down anything I tend to forget all the resolutions by January the 2nd; sometimes I remember during the year, but it's not like I officially put them on paper as an agreement between me and myself. This year though I'll do it differently.
No, I'm not going to start writing it on this post, but I'm going to start thinking about it. For me 2006 is already over; even though Sargitarius has just begun and it's supposedly "the month of miracles" I would label [ick... here I go doing it again] such happenings as "2007 preludes". Yeah, maybe I should let go and just live... but you see, that's what I've been doing and there are some things about this [and me] that I still don't like, so maybe it's time for a change.
From today on I'm going to start revisiting my year; reviewing the highlights, the turning points, all the things I said I'd do and didn't and if they're still part of who I am and what I want to be, etc etc. Perhaps I should have done this few months earlier for Rosh Hashnnah, but I don't think it's too late... and according to my Christian upbringing I've still got time.
Oh, what does all of this have to do with Live To Tell and the mirrored cross?
Well, you know... stream of consciousness.
[Song: Got To Be Certain - Kylie Minogue]

Live To Tell

"From Johnny W:
NBC premiered Madonna’s Confessions Tour on the 22nd and (naturally) edited it (not just due to time restrictions but 'demand'). Various Christian religious groups were against Madonna 'mocking' Christ with her enactment of Jesus’ crucifixion. Those who have heard Madonna’s explanation or (those who are less hypocritically) who have seen the show, know she is not mocking Christ but bringing awareness about the plight of AIDS in Africa.
Channel 4 is a channel, which, generally, tries to break down barriers. Sometimes controversial but tries to stay honest. Tonight, in England, we watched Madonna Confessions Tour (edited to a schedule) but 'bleeped' and 'blurred' it was not. 'If I ran away....' Close up of Madonna’s face, the thorns, the cross and then the light in the background on the screens. I was watching Live To Tell, as it should be. Inter-cut with the AIDS epidemic images as Madonna intended. Expressing the message that we should do more for countries that need our Western help.
We also saw the finger ('Sorry'), the heart ('I Love New York') – okay this one may be due to trademark - and heard the lyrics ('suck George Bush’s dick'). No bleeps, no blurs just pure Madonna. Ok, we didn’t get 'Drowned World', 'Paradise (Not For Me)', 'Lucky Star' etc. - (DVD Sticker) 'CONTAINING PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN FOOTAGE OF LUCKY STAR'. But in a society where we are allowed to see and hear Madonna say 'suck George Bush’s dick' and not have a 'higher' union censor it for us we should say 'Ho' and wave our hands in the air like we don’t care. But what if she said 'suck Tony Blair’s dick'. Would we still see it on UK TV?
A toast to Channel 4 and the Confessions Tour. Let’s look forward to the DVD and hope we can unite together and try to do our bit with the AIDS epidemic and the other monstrosities in the world. 'Doing our bit' isn’t necessarily about going to Africa or donating to a charity. It can be educating your child/another person about awareness, listening to someone who is in a difficult moment, practising safe sex etc. I’m not going to list all the Madonna cliché lyrics 'Why’s it so hard....' etc. but just want to say a little thank you for being you. Madonna you are not going to change the world in a day and neither are we. But let's try."
[Song: Live To Tell - Madonna]

Sunday, November 26, 2006


...maybe this is totally exasperated and out of time but this dearest friend with whom I haven't talked in ages was logged on the MSN. She firstly asked for my address [no "hi's" or "how are you's"] and after I gave it, it hit me that something was weird. I'm really fond of this girl and she is of me and considering the time to which we haven't spoken nor heard of each other, that was indeed a strange start of talk. Yeah, I got preoccupied that I was chatting with wasn't exactly her, if you know what I mean.
So I asked if she was alright and said that I missed her. She replied with an "I'M WONDERFUL" and an "I MISS YOU TOO"... yeah, on caps, like that. And then she said she was about to leave and that I was going to hear from her very soon! And left.
Yes, I am very aware that I am overreacting here... no, surely the proper verb is "drama-queening". But yeah, after watching Eyes Wide Shut and reading a nasty comment on my flog I can't help feeling a bit suspicious.
Not that the weird behavior of my friend, the nasty comment and Kubrick's film has anything to do with the other, but well... y'all know how human minds work.
[Song: A Good Thing - Saint Etienne]

Thursday, November 23, 2006

I want a turkey. I want a turkey for me.

We don't have thanksgiving in Brasil and I don't have gringo-ed friends to give a thanksgiving dinner. But still I can thank all the blessings, so I hop on the wave and do my Thankgivings post.
So, thank G-d for:
- dentist appointments on stormy days;
- stormy days full of inspiration;
- inspiration made into art;
- art made by Madonna;
- Madonna making the people come together;
- come together to the one person that understands;
- to understand that person as well;
- well and healthy Kylie;
- Kylie Minogue's beautiful and sorrowful joyous music;
- music that makes me happy;
- happiness given by tv;
- tv: Sawyer, Bree, Lorelai(s)... Sex And The City;
- Bushnell, Parker, Nixon, Catrall and Davis;
- Alais and her unique intelligence;
- intelligence that is as well in me;
- my girlie "me", Nathalia;
- me for being so sarcastic;
- sarcasm that brings me reason to laugh;
- laughter hours spent with the ho;
- the ho... oh third time I thank for him;
- all the virtual men that comes in and out of my life;
- the crushes that irks my brain to think;
- think and write things like this site;
- trade the day for the night;
- my dad with his adorable although sometimes irksome speeches;
- my mom and her very own manual of "how not to be";
- my sis for the same reason;
- my ghost too;
- oh Maria Bethânia!!
- have I already thanked for Madge and Kylie?
- what about the source of bliss? Yeah the films, the films, the films, the films!!!
- Greta Garbo, and Monroe; Dietrich and DiMaggio. Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean, on the cover of a magazine. Grace Kelly; Harlow, Jean. Picture of a beauty queen. Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire. Ginger Rogers, dance on air. They had style, they had grace; Rita Hayworth gave good face; Lauren, Katharine, Lana too. Bette Davis, we love you. Ladies with an attitude; fellows that were in the mood. Don't just stand there, let's get to it. Strike a pose, there's nothing to it... yeah, you all know what I mean!
- the body, the mind, the soul;
- the life I'm writing with my words;
- everyone that is helping me on it;
- and You of course that permits me to be.
Happy Thanksgiving.


[This post requires a good deal of imagination.]
"The temporomandibular joint [TMJ] is a diarthrosis joint that connects the mandible [lower jaw] to the temporal bone at the side of the skull. As a modified hinge joint, not only does the TMJ enable the jaw to open and close, it also enables the jaw to move forward and backward, as well as laterally." Disorders on this muscle are often the cause of a sleeping disorder called bruxism. It makes you clench your teeth while you sleep, or in some cases even when you're awake.
Okay, this is the part where your brains are required.
Try to imagine that scientific explanation spoken by a young and bright voice. A voice that is masculine and eloquent, also charming and attractive; as soon as you hear this voice you are taken in a time travel instant, when you are back to [my now favorite subject] adolescence, more specifically the sometimes dreadful high school. But this voice doesn't take you to that adjective part of the term, it takes you to the character who back then you wished you never cared about, but it was almost impossible: the guy. The voice belongs to that popular dude who you wanted to hate simply because your ego desired what he had, but at the same time you wanted to be around him simply because of his joyous features and outgoing behaviors. The voice belongs to a body no one could have resisted and that matched perfectly its relaxing and cheerful vibrations.
Now [present time] you enter its room and as soon as it greets you feel the curlew that is to melt you down. Then you look at the sound that is talking to you and the voice becomes the man! He is even shorter than you but uhg, he's just as you remembered from high school and that instantly makes him bigger. You shake hands [you don't want to let go of his], you see the gold ring on that finger [you let go]; and as he starts to explain you all those scientific craps in that old same captivating tone, you don't need a mirror to know that you're grinning like a child and as you sit on that feared chair you feel relaxed and tense at the same time, and not because of the place you're sitting. He asks what you do and you, very clichéd, stutter as you reply; now, wiser as you are, you understand why it was so hard to say no to that voice.
Then the man puts the Alanis Morrissette's MTV Unplugged; your evil ego immediately judges his [common] taste but you very silly says "I love that CD", he says he loves it too and there it is: the thing you needed to start daydreming, the first thing in common. He loves big cities [check], he moved a lot [check], lived a good deal of time in small towns [check], loves the option of being anonymous in big towns [check], has a mother with bruxism [check]... okay enough.
Then, you finally open your mouth. To him is a daily procedure from his labor; to you is the sign of perdition...
Did I mention I love to go to the dentist?
[Song: Light Years/I Feel Love - Kylie Minogue]

Happy Endings

There was a time in my adolescence [nowadays I hate what I was back then, but it's recent and always good blog material] that I used to think that being depressed was cool. I listened to Evanescene as if they were some sort of "deep-feelingsland" spokesmen, Alanis Morissette was G-d, Jewel was the angel and movies... yeah, the one that made me close to a suicide was the best ever! [Thank G-d I just saw Requiem For A Dream this year!]
So tonight, after rewatching one of the most hyped movies ever I needed a treat with a light, sweet and underrated story: Happy Endings. My friend has been talking so much about this film that I had no more excuse for not getting it. After having watched it, that tacky question came up to my mind; but along with a sort of new idea: I love happy endings!
No, it's not like that from now on I'm going to ignore all the sad tear-jerking stories that come along in whatever form [song, film, book etc]; there's still much love inside for The Hours and Stepmom, but if you ask me which [sad or bad endings] I prefer... you already know the answer.
I just assume that life is already shitty enough for us to cling to depression! In his book Power Of Kabbalah, ravi Yehuda Berg says that human beings' main desire is to be happy; we'll do pretty much everything to keep having the good injections of endorphin our cells give us whenever there's something that feeds that desire. We'll always be willing and able to keep the thrill. Some people [I'm judgement free here, I promise] get high by sabotaging themselves thus being depressed, others just choose the bright sides and live along. Oh, me? Well, give me a cute indie starlet singing a classic tune and I'll be all the way to [cheerful] tearyland!
Image and video hosting by TinyPicAs for Amy Lee: someone please shoot that Dracula wannabe; Alanis: amazing artist with some of ther best songs ever written, but far from being a role model now; Jewel: she'll play all her cheery songs on my wedding; and movies? Well, just give me them because they make me happy.
[Song: Just The Way You Are - Maggie Gyllenhaal]

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Robert Altman

My life as a cinephile is rather young but since the begining I learned that Altman was a G-d in this art. I learned to respect, to cheer and anticipate his work and that his filmography is a must-see for anyone who wants to understand cinema. I regret not knowing much of his work while he was alive, but I know a master's works never gets old. Whatever he's doing now on heaven he has his work to immortalize his mind and visions; for us all that's rest is to appreciate this man's geniality and study and appreciate his art.
Robert Altman: 1925-2006.

Top 3 Romantic Craps

When I say "crap" I mean things that cynical bitches like moi would rather get away from, but they're so lovely and so catchy that not even the strongest and the most bitter of spirits can help. Here are three of my favorite things to do when this romantic wave gets me by the knees.
3. Romantic Flicks
Whether just cute melodramas like The Lake House or cute comedies like Never Been Kissed I can't resist their power. Truth be told even the most convicted of quirkyalones daydream about "the one" and these pieces of manipulative media touch us on the wound. It's not like I die in desperation every time I watch a romantic flick, but yeah I get emotive, I cry like a Madeleine Wallace, I curse the world and myself and others more for being alone etc etc.
When things are really dark I get the Hollywood conservative you're-nothing-till-you-have-a-man films like Never Been Kissed, Notting Hill, Love Actually, wrap myself in a blanket, have a pan of brigadeiro and cry my insides out when they end. When I'm optmistic and wanting to feel good I get things like Pride And Prejudice and Bridget Jones with lighter and deeper approaches.
Today I rented Moulin Rouge, let's see if I'll survive.
2. Kylie Minogue's Put Yourself In My Place*
What is it that even if we're not heartbroken we feel drowned by broken-hearted songs?
Kylie Minogue is a marvel; she's known for her dance beats and the hipnotic states her music brings to us on clubs, or even at home when we put her cds or listen to her songs on the radio. But only the attentive listeners and the fans know that her lyrics are the saddest lyrics from Pop Music; get some of her dance classics like Can't Get You Out Of My Head, On A Night Like This, Please Stay and I Should Be So Lucky and you'll find a want of reciprocity in love that is heartbreaking when you notice that it's combined with those wild beats that makes you forget everything to follow your body's desire to dance.
And, if you get to the ballads, then you die. As one of the most underrated performers she delivers song renditions full of feeling and emotion. Listen to Dangerous Game and you feel disappointed with love, Finer Feelings [an upbeat ballad] and you want a good life. But the one that touches me to the bone, chills me to the spirit is the once-ignored [by me] Put Yourself In My Place.
I'm not gonna ramble about the lyrics 'cause they obviously summarize what I'm talking about. But her performance, uhg it's heavenly! Few pop divas I know transmit so much of what the lyrics mean in their voices without sounding cheesy and exaggerating [read: Beyoncé and Christina Aguilera]; Kylie gives to this song the desolation and sadness it brings and when you're feeling romantically self-destructive it's just like chocolate.
1. Madonna's Crazy For You**
I don't know if it's the sense of freshness or the hope, but this song is pure diamond. Madge's vocals are heartfelt and mostly sad; they sound like a desperate call that everyone should be oblidged to listen to. The lyrics are like Put Yourself In My Place before the cheating, therefore it's hopeful. Who wouldn't love to hear an honest and emotive "I'm crazy for you"? And that's what and how Madonna tell us whenever she sings this song.
Recently I downloaded Re-Invention Tour's studio tests, like the tests they do on studio with new arrangements for rehearsals and dance routines creation. When it comes to Crazy For You feels like the whole world goes silent and all you listen is the song with her lovely slips on the lyrics and the little jokes. It feels like she's singing just for you. Crazy For You resembles to those times when you were a teenager waiting for "the one" to fall from the sky just to say such words. And guess what, in the romantically self-destructive state of mind that's exactly what you become again.
Call me silly but whenever I go to a party I can't help dreaming that what this song describes happens to me that night.
*Showgirl Tour's version: the best live performance I've heard of it so far.
**RIT's studio version.
[Song: Put Yourself In My Place - Kylie Minogue]
[Song 2: Crazy For You - Madonna]

Monday, November 20, 2006

Romantic Ass

Last post was bitter and bitchy and even though I still am I recognize now I'm kinda fed up.
Kinda fed up of being cynical.
Kinda fed up of not believing.
Kinda fed up of "sharing feelings with the mirror."
Kinda fed up of daydreaming.
Kinda fed up of the me-myself-and-I status.
Honestly: I want to be in love...
[Song: Relocate - Saint Etienne]

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Mr. Match's Father

I said here before that I'm great in giving relationship advices despite my lack of relationship to the date. It's not often that I find myself being called by people to help them in seeing clearer their thoughts about their relationships, or obsessions.
As my little confession for this post I sometimes feel annoied by people's insistence in having limited views about themselves. When you are a "match maker" you are able to see the big picture that the person ignores for being immersed in the problem; I believe that's normal with everyone and I myself have been through that [during my web relationship] and probably will be through it again. But honestly after each experience one is able to [and must] learn something about itself and "the game"; nah, people still do the same mistakes, act the same way over and over again bumping with their heads against the wall and suffering in places they have been before.
However when I talk to my father about these things, I feel like a normal person. I still give my opinions and make my theories about the game; but maybe because he's a way more experienced man than I am I never feel like a couple's counselor. [Strangely I don't feel the same way with my mother; actually there are a lot of times I feel more like the parent than the son when it comes to my mom.]
Tonight as we dined at this cozy bistro he talked about his favorite subject: Rita [and since I'm very recluse lately I didn't try to change it]. And there I was sharing my ideas of how she might be acting in their relationship and having a far more intersting back-up: the conscious and aware of the feelings involved; the back-up of a grown person. All my friends are pratically my age and I can say I don't think much differently or better than any of them, so to know a more lived point of view is amazing. My father provided me what most of my friends [and also myself] can't have all the time, especially when it comes to love material: maturity.
[Song: I'm Sorry - Kylie Minogue]

Thursday, November 16, 2006

"Come To Bed, Laura Brown."

It is all about choices; everything in life is about them. All the good, all the bad; the begining of happiness, or the happiness. It all revolves around the choices.
When Laura wiped her face and went to bed she had decided she would leave her two children and husband and choose life. She faced life and took the consequenses; she would become "the monster" but it was her decision; and she was the one who survived everything with the total detachment of regret, while the world judged her and expected it from her. And who is to say that she was wrong? Who is to say that she was wrong in venturing in her own life instead of living the ideals someone else made up for her?
Virginia had her life stolen; "I choose not the suffocating anesthetic of the suburbs, but the violent jolt of the Capital, that is my choice," she said and despite of her mental illness and all the judgement we can impose to her, that was her choice and she was right. "The meanest patient, yes, even the very lowest is allowed some say in the matter of her own prescription. Thereby she defines her humanity."
Clarissa made her choices, but in her lies the trick. What if we choose not for ourselves, but for the others? What if our choices are based on what we think that others would like? Still, being that way, we live with the fact we had our satisfaction with the other's appreciations on our choices. So in the end it's not exactly about staying alive for people, it is about making people staying alive for us.
There's the old say "live together, die alone" and it's been my mantra for quite a while. Not that I like to think myself as an island, but to think myself as an individual. Here we are ho living our lives all connected and simultaneously, but we still are alone. In our heads we are alone, in our hearts. It took a while and maybe a lot to Clarissa to realize that. It took Richard's death; not that she didn't know he would die, but she couldn't accept it. She couldn't own up to the fact that she herself and only had the power of her own fate, and that she would have to make her choices; and not in a passive-agressive way by selecting options to show people what she was trully wanting and feeling.
"To look life in the face, always, to look life in the face and to know it for what it is. At last to know it, to love it for what it is, and then, to put it away."
Let's make our choices ho.
[Song: The Uncovered Silence]
PS: Based on the film The Hours.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


The worst thing is that after you know it, there's an implicit obligation that you should change. But how to avoid such slickly behavior?
The whole premise of this blog is my bitchiness and you know what, I like it!! I like being bitter sometimes and mostly sarcastic; we all complain about life and I just decided to laugh on my craps. Surely I use sarcasm at any other occasion, with any other person, whenever I can; but honestly it's not like I'm totally oblivious about the differences of situations and act like a totally self-unconscious person. But yeah I do it.
The kid who said he was in love with me received my finest skepticism; not that he knows of my real reactions, but see that's it! Ego interferes in how I show my feelings and real thoughts to people or not. The pleasing disease.
So Lucas, let's try different approaches. Instead of smiling and nodding demonstrate you're not satisfied with certain things; instead of making up excuses tell the truth; don't play half-words games say what you mean, mean what you say; don't keep the negative emotions, express anger in a positive way and it doesn't include billionaire smiles, cleaning the house, smoking, sniffing, drinking, masturbation, etc etc; yell if you feel like yelling, but not beyond the limit between self-expressions and rudeness: watch your ego!
Note-to-self: Be real, keep it real. But please, don't forget to have our wry and bitter sarcastic fun from time to time.
Note-to-ho: I wrote it down so we wouldn't forget. Lol!
[Song: Vogue (RIT - Studio Version) - Madonna]

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Film Tagged

It took me way too long again to do this. My answers aren't as cool as Jose's but well he tagged me for this.
1. Popcorn or candy?
None… I realized I get completely annoyed by all the noise people do with they’re eating on the theatre. There you go chewing with your mouth open while you talk to the hag beside in the middle of the film and then open your candy bags and there goes the important scene everyone missed due to your carnival. Uhg… yeah, I’m ultra bitchy especially when people decide to ruin my movie experience.
So, all I have during a film is a liter of Coke or Pepsi.
2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever.
Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia. First there's the Tom Cruise factor; every movie he attempts to really act I hate it, he just can’t do it. Then there’s the fact that the first person who told me to watch it has as favorite summer flicks all those stupid animations about animals, and since I’m a film snob… yeah I judge people by their movie taste.
3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom?
I love Judy Holliday in Born Yesterday; it’s one of my favorite comedies ever! But seriously, who else knows about it unless the cinephiles and Oscar-philes? So I’d get my time-traveling broomstick, go back to 1950, take the little naked man from Holliday’s hand and give it to Miss Davis and Miss Swanson because those were legendary performances.
I’d also step back in two years, kick Jamie Foxx’s ass and give the Oscar to Leo DiCaprio that really acted not mimed.
And OMG, the Three 6 Mafia wouldn’t ever even be nominated!!
4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be?
EVERYTHING from The Devil Wears Prada.
That’s all!
5. Your favorite film franchise is...
The Harry Potter movies. I love the books and I love the film adaptations; even though I find the first two rather dull I love them all; Cuarón's is my favorite. Uhg, I love Daniel Radcliff and Emma Watson.
6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them?
Definitely Audrey Hepburn and Meryl Streep would be my guests of honor, just because they’re my favorite actresses. Then we’d have Madge, Gwyneth Paltrow and Lindsay Lohan [my guilty pleasure] to sing to us.
And no ho of course I wouldn’t give them vatapá! It’d be an Italian night with good red wine and Parmegiana steak.
7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?
8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days.
The Bride, of course! And she must wear that yellow wardrobe all the time.
9. What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie?
I know it’s tacky to say that, but I still didn’t have the courage to watch The Exorcist for a second time.
10. Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is?
Musicals and Classics, period.
11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power?
I would stop any film about the WW2 or soldiers; Spielberg, Clint Eastwood and Paul Haggis would be put on the fridge [sorry ho but I had to copy this one]. Dakota Fanning would act a real kid and they’d give Anna Faris other roles than the dumb woman.
There would be more musicals and no films about animals; Scarlett Johansson, Keira Knightley and Uma Thurman would be my main stars and Jane Fonda would be my vice-president.
12. Bonnie or Clyde?
Uhh… are you talking about Beyoncé and Jay-Z?
13. Who are you tagging to answer this survey?
Gabriel and Alais, of course.
And oh, if my new blog-add, André, read this he might do it as well.
[Song: So Now Goodbye - Kylie Minogue]

Bitchy Post

I have a special request, that those who don't have anything to add, please shut the fuck up!
That's all.
[Song: Almost A Lover - Kylie Minogue]

Monday, November 13, 2006

Je Suis Le Bitch

I deleted the kid last night. He was hitting my nerves with some idiotic immature crap, so goodbye. Today he messaged me with this ultra dramatic request to take him back.
Well, I laughed my ass off!!! Come on!! It was on caps lock and RED!!! But in the end I agreed to add him back and see what happens. I'm not buying his crap of love anymore, but I want to do him. So, what-fucking-ever!
[Song: Better The Devil You Know - Kylie "G-d" Minogue]

Sunday, November 12, 2006

The Thrill Is Dry

Alright I admit, I want a romance; I want someone to share intimacy. So why's it so hard to accept the possibility that it is happening?
Couple weeks ago this kid [17] added me on Orkut. I have a crush on every cute teenager that says hi to me and this was actually wanting to know me, so do the math. He's a cute-pie with silly smile, yummy lips and perfect teeth, totally my type of kid [I must add: perfect skin!]; but suddenly he turned to me and said "I'm in love with you"!
Yeah I gasped too, or I laughed I don't recall... I probably laughed. And then started the tormenta between this kid and me and me and myself. Why couldn't I believe him? Well, for the obvious: his a silly teenager who takes desperate plunges on every thrill that crosses his way; he doesn't know me and my little bitchinesses, I bet when he knows them he'll run away on the other direction after, of course, staying long enough to make me want him.
But as I ponder I realize that I'm from a generation that preaches free love but still doesn't believe in love. Here I come using my new favorite word [that happens to be me most of the times]: cynical. The sexual liberation was great and all that but we became a bunch of cynics, unbelievers. We just believe someone when he wants to fuck us and there we go chanting all the forms of loving, when we can't even accept that. Who am I to judge this kid's feelings, if they're true or not? Who am I to judge anyone's feelings?
Well, turned out I was right: this kid's pretty fucked up; but yeah that's not the point! What the fuck, Lucas wants romance but will he keep turning his back against it? When we're teenagers we keep waiting for the next thrill to dive deep [maybe that's why I feel attracted to that naivité], but as we grow up we don't anymore believe in the thrill but stupidly keep waiting for it!
So how will I answer my initial question? Who knows! Something tells me I'll keep ignoring signs and possible romances until I'm able to let go of myself. And that my friend, I'm not so sure if I want to do. I don't need romance anyway...
[Song: Lovin' You - Kylie Minogue]

Saturday, November 11, 2006


Today's been an emotional crap: nothing's up, nothing's down. But one thing woke me up besides the strong expresso I had: Kylie Minogue's triumphal return to the stages!!
Today in Sydney she performed her new and improved Showgirl Homecoming Tour with marvelous outfits totaly inspired by the Folies Bergère. AND... AND... a homage from the Princess Of Pop to the Queen Of Pop. Kylie peforms the rap from Madonna's hit Vogue!
This video has an awful audio, but we can see how perfect are the new costumes for the Kylie-esque set [you non-Kyliers will get a shit from what I'm saying] totally S&M/Erotica/Sex inspired.
G-d Save The Princess!!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Nine Weird Things About Lucas

Hosie told me to do it via his blog and I got a bit lazy to think immediately about these nine things about me... but here we are, no more delay, let's go.
1. I have a total disdain about my sister's tastes. She is one tacky girl it's true, but not in the Beyoncé funny light way; she really believes she's the milk and cereals in everybody's spoon. So, when she decides to like something I like, I see myself losing complete interest for the thing; this time is Lindsay Lohan. I shall pray she'll keep ignoring Madonna and Kylie.
2. From time to time I get obsessed about something. Early this year I got back a Kylie fever, when I downloaded all her of albums, deepened my Minogue studies and ended importing some of her discography that wasn't released in this [crappy] country of mine. Later I got a Jane Fonda fever while I read her autobiography, I felt like watching everything about her; I've been buying the DVDs and she's frequent example and role model. Then came the TV obsession: when I moved back to Bahia I found myself without cable TV; so to satisfy my boredom when internet and books didn't thrill me for a while I rented TV series on DVD. I died with Lost's first and second seasons and devoured entirely Sex And The City in three weeks. The latter is my current love and I don't feel like replacing it to anything else! [I even bought the book!]
3. I only wear black underwears. I don't know why, I don't know when it started but my underwears are never other color but black. The only non-black underwear I have is navy blue.
4. I like to know and learn new things, especially when it comes to music, films, arts in general. So, I often force myself to like something. Not superficially of course, I don't like things to show off or make an impression; when I decide to like a band, for example, I do a mini research on its biography and discography [viva Wikipedia!]. I had an Emo era, when I studied a lot of the Emo culture, listened to the music and there even was a photoshoot; an Indie era, all I listened to were Bright Eyes, Death from Above 1979 and of course Belle And Sebastian. My latest undertaking was New Order.
5. There is something on my pheromones or countenance that screams SHRINK! Most people I know tend to look for me when they're needing advice or help in figuring something about them. I'm a master in relationships troubles even if I never had any real one; I can also help you to deal family issues, school, friends etc etc. This is not an advertisement, truth be told I sometimes get tired of people only looking for me when they've got trouble; BUT I don't complain and I mostly like the task.
6. When I listen to a CD I have to listen to it completely: from the begining till the end; I don't skip tracks, I actually think it's a major crime to do so, and I hate when I'm forced to pause it. The reason for this sissiness is somehting similar to #4; I like to have my own points of view and impressions on things, especially music; so I believe that if I restrain myself to listen only to the single releases in an album I attach myself only to the artist's [aka label, charts, industry] points of view.
7. I have a weird relationship with my hair. I love it and I want to keep it pretty and new. It's shoulder length now [the way I like it], but it's been black, blue and now it's accidentally blond. It's a long story and as Jose [motherfucker] stormed out I look like an O'Zone member. I am of course devastated and I want my pretty dark hair back.
8. I take on different identities and last names according to my current literary/artistic/cinematic obession. Right now I am Bradshaw, before I was Bennet; I was also Simon Alone, Lucas DeLarge/Alexander Dantas and some others.
9. If you ever walk down the street or the mall with me and I resist entering a CD, book or DVD store, please shoot me because it's an impostor!! People in Brasil love the smell of new cars, I love the smell of new books; I have orgasms ripping the plastic cover from CDs and DVDs and if the acrylic boxes of them break I am devastated. In other words, my books, my CDs and my DVDs are my everything, my patrimony; I spend all my money in them and I demand respect and care about them.
I would like Alais and Gabriel to do the list too; whether on their blogs or their flogs. And Nathalia must do it too, I don't care where but she must!
[Song: Beethoven's 5th Symphony]

Mark My Words

Harry Potter star, Daniel Radcliffe, will star his first play: the dark 1973's play Equus by Peter Shaffer is to be revived next year and it will have Radcliffe and Richard Griffiths, as Alan Strang, a teenager who blinds six horses with a hoof pick, and Dr Martin Dysart, the boy's psychiatrist. I [still] didn't read the play nor watched the 1977 motion picture; but according to my readings aside the heavy crime [that actually happened] the play deals about our "mysterious, uncontrolled inner impulses" combined with modern culture spiritual atrophy.
That said, here's what I mean to state about this revival. First, I must say I'm really impressed by Radcliffe's choices; he's starring an indie australian flick about four orphans and now this play! The dude is really decided to become a serious actor by getting challenging roles sided by the box office candy Harry Potter series.
And well he's got the looks [the guy is a hottie] and even though there's not much of acting work to be seen on Harry Potter[s] it is true that he improved his abilities through the years and has been exalted by the legendary colleagues. Shaffer, who was resistant about the revival, agreed after seeing a private performance of the guy; and Daniel himself claimed he was [since the begining] willing to take the role as it is, without making starlet alterations.
So his celebrity status along with the power of Shaffer's text will probably make this revival of Equus a hit! Then now you may mark my words: in a couple of years or less we'll have a new movie adaptation. Let's all hope that Radcliffe's performance is as great as such a deep play demands [and I trully hope it is].
Note #1: Did you notice how CREEPY the poster is?

Note #2: Check out the play's official website intro. It's really spooky!

[Song: Fidelity - Regina Spektor]

PS: Click on the song link ho! It is beyond cute and the video is perfect!

Monday, November 06, 2006

"There Is No Such Thing As Regret"

I finally decided to watch Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind. Kate Winslet is G-d! How can one woman be so absolutely charming and lovely and still weirdo and impulsive? She's a true chameleon, changing personalities in each movie; she doesn't act, she IS!! Jim Carey is amazing as well but so underrated; to think that Foxx son of a bitch was the big thing about last year. These people are NUTS!!
But this is not what this post is about. What is most delightful about this movie is that it plays about something human beings love to do: wish they could erase certain things.
"There is no such thing as regret", I like to remind myself and this film reassured that in me. Why erase something that made you grow, that taught you something? By the end of it I had tears in my eyes, but from happiness due to the hope the film brings.
So, I decided to ignore all the indie hype that this film's got and simply adore it for being dang beautiful.
[Song: Wouldn't Change A Thing - Kylie Minogue]

Sunday, November 05, 2006


Last night I went out with family to watch one of the funniest plays I've ever seen, A Bofetada.
But one thing called my attention in the theatre before the play had started: two of my High School classmates were there [they didn't see me]. But they're not ordinary classmates; they were HS sweethearts and guess what, they are still together! I've heard they're getting married as soon as both finish college, but dude, they're still together!!
What are the odds to find the love of your life in so early age? We all know that life in adolescence is all party and descovering, therefore no time and maturity to find the life-partner. Not that I'm worried about finding a life-partner, but yeah I envied them a little bit, especially because they still seemed fabulous and in love. We can't say these things for certain because in the bedroom no one but them knows what happens, but the image of them still together after four years... nowadays, what the fuck!
Why the image of them bothers or at least touches us so deeply? Is it because we're all envious bitches hating everyone else who has what we don't, in this case a relationship? Are we so media oriented that end up waiting forever for the relationship that will validate us? What if it never comes, will we be nobody forever?
Fine, it's obvious I'm very Carrie Bradshaw influenced lately, but an enquirying mind like mine can't help thinking about these things when it sees itself facing a slight jealousy over other people's stability in the love life. I can't help feeling a bit frustrated for being so mainstream influenced about these things. The media showers us with people falling in love and finding their lobsters and these people are the role models, the picture perfect of how a life should be.
I honestly don't want to live like that: waiting for the one to come and hating my life in the mean time or worst, ignoring all things accomplished before he came along. It's easy to say "fuck it" to everyone, but is it as easy to really don't care and be not affected by all the showers?
[Song: Live And Learn - Kylie Minogue]

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Sex And The City Raving - Part... Who's Counting Anyway?

Last night I finished watching my favorite show of all times. Hands down! This show opened my mind about certain things that I want to accomplish in life and reassured others that I already had in mind.
As I said previously I wanna become Carrie Bradshaw. And gosh how I wanna do what she does; I want to write... no no, more than that I want to live my job, do something that will force me to try new things, to reinvent myself; something that will also give me enough money to be chic as Carrie and the girls, of course! I want to go to clubs and cool bars, be a fashion expert and of course have all those men!
Okay enough of superficial queeny reveries, the reason why Sex And The City touched me so much is because these women are fabulous and SINGLE!!! They need no man to validate them and even though they're in the search for love and sometimes get too obsessive about the other sex, they're wonderful for themselves, for what they do and how they behave. They're intelligent, independent and successful. That's a statement about women and feminism that is rarely said so openly and unpretentiously like this show did. It never preached about life styles and even dared to doubt itself: Carrie and the girls by the end somehow ended up doing things they'd never imagine themselves doing, and some of us never expected them to do; but deep down they never stopped being themselves.
I want brunches with gorgeous friends!
I want Dolce & Gabbana parties!
I want Cosmopolitans!
And Prada!!
[Song: Jump - Madonna]

Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Night Out

If you read the post bellow you must imagine what hell of a hangover I have right now. Regret, regret, regret!! I wish I could say I have but actually I dont. Okay, next time I will be far away from tequila when I'm having sake, and vice-versa.
But last night was huge! My dad and I went to this cute sushi/tequila bar. The right side was japanese style and the left mexican, which made the whole Eastern/Western junction very cute. I was dying to have some sushi, which I didn't have in ages, and of course tequila!!
A shot of tequila later and I was already tipsy, dad and I were having the Rita conversation. His "girlfriend" [they haven't defined their relationship yet] is leaving next year to Rio and is staying there for at least four years in order to get her doctorate. He was telling me how he's been trying to let things be and not to become too emotionally attached to her and to the proximity. We drank and ate and talked and when I started to hit on the waiters I knew I was drunk good. Actually, last night I was very flirtatious! I had just finished a part of my Sex And The City marathon and when my dad came to take me out I was feeling radiant and dying to have some drinks.
As he talked and I sushi-ed it was almost impossible not to notice how many hot hunks there were last night; I chose a table filled with hot motherfuckers and their girlfriends and spent the night stalking them. But in a moment as I watched the Heaven Table and listened to my father I felt like telling him about my sexuality.
I've been there before other times and never came out. No matter how strong and aware of myself I may seem there are certain things I simply chicken out unless I have alcohol in the veins. I had tequila but thinking it wouldn't be enough I ordered sake!! Yeah, sake right after my second shot of tequila! It was my first sake and I really liked the fact it didn't have any specific taste; it's something close to beer [in my drunk mind back then] but better. I was glad because I've been trying different drinks and getting disappointed all over and sake was simply cute. So I ended up having three.
When three gorgeous ladies passed to go to their room my father said: "I really don't understand how you can say this town doesn't have beautiful women."
That was it, it was my cliff! So I replied: "maybe because women are not my thing right now." This is very cliche but thirty seconds of silence that felt like proceeded. "What do you mean?", asked him. I thought I wouldn't when I had finally said it but I was scared of his reaction; not that he'd get up and kick my face but well... I don't know; just a post-revelation little fear, I think. In thirty seconds I made up all the craziest situations and exits to that conversation; but I had started it, I had to finish it and truth be told I hadn't even told him explicitly.
So, feeling that I still needed aproval and also feeling stupid due to it, I said "I believe nothing in life is forever, but if you ask me now what would I want to get away with..." so I pointed at my Heaven Table "see that guy by the window with long hair? I'd prefer him than those girls that just passed us by."
Pronto, it was done. I said it and this time no silence came after. Actually we soon were engaged in a Lassiter-esque conversation about gay rights and their space in nowadays society. There were no embarrassing "since when/with who/who knows" questions and I was glad that the only really personal question he asked was if I wanted to have kids. Of course I do, I don't know how will that happen if adoption or surrogating, but that wasn't and isn't the moment for me to decide that.
The night ended with no much further chat [that I can remember] about it and now life continues as always. I don't feel different and not preoccupied of how things will be after; there's no burden-free kind of feeling, life simply goes on...
Actually there's an unbearable burden over my head right now!! Regret, regret, regret!!!
[Song: Hung Up - Madonna (ho and mine hangover song)]

Tequila + Sake

First of all: I'm veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery drunk. So if you encounter any typing/English error you must forgive my tequilaness.