If My Current Life Were A Movie...

...It would be Notting Hill. I'll explain.

- William Thacker [Hugh Grant] - me

- Anna Scott [Julia Roberts] - you-know-who

Alright, today* I was supposed to study but I got drunk and decided to watch a movie to de-drunk myself. My choice was Notting Hill.

Why's it my life? Well at first: Hugh Grant plays a man, William Thacker, who lives in a not-so-splendid [until the movie of course] small "village inside of London", Notting Hill. It's the place where nothing extraordinary happens except for good Architect friends becoming chefs. Will has a travel-book shop; maybe because he always wanted to travel the world but couldn't afford. So, here I am: a soul with no nationality. I also wish I could travel the world but guess what: I can't afford!!!! And maybe that's why I spend most of my hours connected to the WWW. One fatidical day the greatest movie star of the world goes into his shop and his life changes dramatically. Uhh... he-who-must-not-be-named isn't a movie star, but if you consider our trajectory you'd agree with me that I was on my own, living my dull life, until this bitch came along with his "surreal, but nice" moments and turned everything upside down. He made the first move towards our first kiss, just like Anna does twice in the movie; and I had a rude awakening as well when the friend factor got into the screenplay.

That is why for the first time [that I can recall] in a movie I related myself to the hero, not the heroine. Even if I'm not as down to earth as Thacker I haven't fallen in love with so many people. Yeah, I've had some crushes, but love?... nah. Also, as hopeless romantics, Will and I tend to deify the people we're in love with; that's why we feel like there's no sunshine when we're heartbroken, wishing someone would mend our broken hearts. Besides, we both love Jane Austen.

This screening also made me cry like no other. I blame the booze, but you know I'm a drama-queen. When you-know-who ditched me, he said he could not understand how I would be in love with him, because I'm [as he views me] always this cool and hype person while he's a normal guy with self-steem issues. That is the only part when I identify myself with Roberts's character; when she said: "I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her," I had to pause the movie because the tears wouldn't let me read any subtitles or see anything else.

The way Notting Hill flirts with another favorite film of mine [Roman Holiday] makes me love it even more. I don't care if it weren't as bold as its 1953 inspiration, I actually love that Scott and Thacker stay together at the end; it gives me a stupid and useless sense of hope that in this low moment of my life is just soothing for my abstinence period. Grant's performance is my favarite of his so far; he often looks the same in evey movie he's in, but in here he's marvelously subtle, fabulously non-British [well, I tend to imagine British men as cold and sexy heartbreakers - like the ones he played on Bridget Jones and that silly Sandra Bullock co-starred romantic comedy Two Weeks Notice, - but in this he shows the romantic side of the British men]; he's always saying "classic" as a rememberance of Notting Hill's source, or a premonition of what the movie he's in would become for some people. As for Julia, she is G-d! You know how I love subtileness in acting performances and Julia's Scott is the epitome of that. Her expression variations are real and full of light, giving her Anna a depth of character as mesmerizing as Hepburn's in Roman Holiday. So, when she gets to that line which made me have a crying breakdown, there's no way you would not believe her.

In the end, I'll probably never have a press conference to change my life to a happy ending; and I'm working on not wishing for it anymore, I promise. But when the dog bites and the bee stings, I'll simply tap myself to my favorite things, the films, to make me live the happily-ever-after that still haven't happened to me.

*I was supposed to finish Kylie Minogue Week today. But I'm exhausted and still have to study, so to say this post has nothing to do with Kylie I'll just type the following words: can't get you out of my head, you're the one, your love, drunk, I don't need anyone.

[Song: She - Elvis Costello]

Kylie Minogue Week: Top 10 Videos

At face value, Kylie Minogue isn't a music video genius as the likes of Madonna or Micheal Jackson; most of them seems like poorly executed good ideas, but if you look closely at them you will find fun and careless elements, like "it's the 80's for chrissake let's be ridiculous", but also you will find unexpectedly cute and sometimes genius references that might open on yours eyes about Minogue's videography. Here I chose her best 10 videos in my opinion, plus 5 honorable mentions that could not be missed.
Honorable Mentions:

- Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi [Chris Landman, 1988]
It's a simple 80's video, but that portrays the story the song tells PLUS it's inspired by an art piece: Robert Doisnaeu's 1949 photo The Last Waltz [left].
- What Do I Have To Do? [David Hogan, 1990]
"How many Hollywood starts can you look like in 3 1/2 minutes?" That's this video's premise where she goes from Gloria Swanson to Brigitte Bardot. Need I really say why I love it?
- Slow [Baillie Wash, 2003]
It's said to be Kylie's sexiest video. I agree, and K please, tell us where is that hot people crowded pool!!
- I Believe In You [Vernie Yeung, 2004]
Okay, the video there's nothing to do with the song's lyrics, but it's beautiful! That glowing neon bubble certifies what I say constantly: Kylie's a deity.
- Giving You Up [Alex & Martin, 2005]
I used to dislike this. But as I prepared this list I decided to rewatch it and I found a similarity between giant Kylie and me that I could not ignore. And Ho I forbid you to talk about it on the comments!!
Note: Yes! The size of these things is ridiculous, but in sake of post layout I put them this tiny. If you'd like to see them big just click on them and the YouTube page will be opened.

Top 10:
10. Please Stay [James Frost & Alex Smith, 2000]
One day Kylie wakes up and realizes she's still thinking about the guy she met last night on the club. Uhh... having a deja vu? Alright, the video for this song is kind of silly and non-sense, but if you read the previous post you know how much I love this song, so fuck it! Besides she's gorgeous and dance with hot gay men! By the way, since the song is basically campy latin music she could do some kind of rumba on the routine; but nah, she went for good old rock on that. Yay for Kylie for not tacky-ing it.

9. Better The Devil You Know [Paul Goldman, 1990]
Suddenly the Girl-Next-Door became a Sex-Kitten and no matter how much you try to think of your wife [?] you can't help developing an infatuation on that hottie. Kylie's first video as a sexual person caused some controversy because of that; this video still focuses more on her image than on a plot, but it's such a change of image that it's totally understanding. The Hitchcock-esque intro is a marvelous metaphor, as if she's running from people's ideas and expectations on her image and behavior.

8. Finer Feelings [David Hogan, 1992]
Once again being inspired by Parisian photographies Kylie Minogue delivered a video that is both beautiful and heartbreaking. Playing a woman who stalks her ex-boyfriend, she warns [in a non-preachy way] about the dangers of mindless sex: "what is love/without the finer feelings/it's just sex/without the sexual healing". The video black-and-white cinematography seems dreamy and classic, but in some kind of witty paradox, Minogue looks like a real woman looking for love in the wrong places [read people]. The mentioned photo is Edouard Boubat's 1948 Pont Neuf.

Note: this posted video cuts the beginning and the last scene of the video. I'm sorry, but there were no other links on YouTube for the song's music video.
7. Spinning Around [Dawn Shadforth, 2000]
This video marked Kylie's comeback to mainstream, plus features one of her most known and adored fashion statements: the Golden Shorts!! Spinning Around's video is a step back in time when Kylie's video was all about her image. This one now makes totally sense since the song itself is about a change of image. It's hot, sexy and a prelude of Kylie as a choreography trendsetter. Just check it out.

6. Put Yourself In My Place [Kier McFarlane, 1994]
You know I worship this song. But I'll save words in telling you why I also love the video, by simply showing you why.

5. Some Kind Of Bliss [David Mould, 1997]
Way before Jay-Z and Beyoncé did that ridiculous version of Bonnie and Clyde, Kylie did a sexier, worthier and [unfortunately] more underrated one. Some Kind Of Bliss is one of her biggest flops on the charts, but of course it's a genius track.

4. Can't Get You Out Of My Head [Dawn Shadforth, 2001]
Uhhh... what's to be said about this one? Kubrick inspiration + gorgeous wardrobe + sexy, addictive and imitable choreography = GENIUS VIDEO!!! C'mon you guys, let's just watch and learn the moves.

3. Chocolate [Dawn Shadforth, 2004]
Homaging the 50's Musical Era, Minogue delivered a video with a cinematography so beautiful that you do nothing but drool as you watch it. The art-deco sets, wardrobe and coreography turns the campiness into pure art; and talk about the song! Even if the video were crap it'd be top 10 worthy just for the masterpiece that is Chocolate. But no, to awe us even more with her geniusness she did a perfect video as well.

2. Come Into My World [Michel Gondry, 2002]
Come on, the guy behind Isobel and Bachelorette's videos could not do a less impressive thing here. Portraying the repetitive crescendo from the song, the video features a rut world where Kylie seems doomed to repeat her actions till the end of the song [but still keeping that gorgeous smile of hers]. And if it weren't for the fade-out this song could last forever. Oh... did I say rut?! You know me and that word.

1. Where The Wild Roses Grow (duet with Nick Cave) [Rocky Shenck, 1995]
This critically acclaimed duet is the epic story of Eliza Day and her lover/murderer. An epic story required an epic song. Written by produced by Cave himself the narrative lyrics tells perfectly the story of the beautiful heroine often compared by people to the wild roses that grow on the riverbank; an epic song requires an epic video. So with a cinematography to drop any jaw Shenck, Minogue and Cave brought to life John Everett Millais's 1852 painting Ophelia. Yes, the Shakespeare's one.

Kylie Minogue Week: Discography Part 2

*again by the ho and moi*

Resuming Kylie's discography, we're now going to talk about her post-PWL's albums. She left the label seeking for more artistic freedom and of course the world saw how creatively genius this woman can get. So here we go.

1994 - Kylie Minogue [Deconstruction]

Moi: It's so far my favorite Kylie album. Even if most of the songs are covers, Minogue owns them with perfection and the cinematic production of the whole is mesmerizing. A theatrical album, that times is sexy and times goes gorgeously romantic/dramatic, KM94 [how it was nicknamed] has some glue flaws, a couple songs although not bad don't exactly fit to the whole, but it totally doesn't take away Minogue's humble effort into maturity and possession of her creative process. The highlight is of course The Dramatic Trilogy.

PS: about her change of image: "she looks like the sexy teacher every [straight] boy dreams about. The way she played with the 'serious' and 'laid-back' looks is adorable, you can't see on the cover, but she's actually barefooted."

The Ho: The rebirth of Kylie came in the shape of an album that questions absolutely everything. Musically she abstains herself from her trademark high toned pitch and goes through several songs merely whispering, while the arrangements range from the trip-hop paradise of Where Is the Feeling?* to the cinematic, strings drama of Confide In Me. Lyrically, she talks about lust and tongues; instead of waiting for someone to tell her "they are really through", she seems empowered and assertive in her affirmations. In the exquisite Put Yourself In My Place she sounds intoxicated and revengeful as she expresses what she wishes will happen to her former lover. The next morning she wakes up hung over and sings Dangerous Game where she realizes that no revenge will ease her pain, which leads her to be numbed by the postmodern Automatic Love she sings about consequently. The album resumes with an infectious house beat highly influenced by the dream pop movement of the early 90's. The last songs put you in an unconscious state of trance, as if to heal us from the existential epiphanies that preceded them.

PS: about her change of image: "it gives me the impression she's crawling back from somewhere and struggling to become who she wants to be."

Top 5: 5. Where Is The Feeling?; 4. Confide In Me; 3. Automatic Love; 2. Dangerous Game; 1. Put Yourself In My Place.

*The Ho didn't have Where Is The Feeling?'s album version, that happens to be jazzy. The version which he mentions is the single's.

1998 - Impossible Princess [Deconstruction]

Moi: Okay, I'll go corny: it's impossible not to love Impossible Princess. Kylie's most conceptual album has a cool indie rock drive combined with beautiful artistic visual elements and poetry. Yes, poetry! After her acclaimed duet with Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds [the gorgeous epic Where The Wild Roses Grow], Kylie took Cave's advice and started writing more personally, giving her a kind of confidence she never experienced until then: "it was like I'd climbed Mount Everest, or jumped out of a plane. So many things that I had avoided for so long were right there. That was what Nick (Cave) was saying to me. 'It'll be brilliant: it'll confront all of your past, all in one fell swoop'. And he was right." The result is a collection of lyrically deep songs with magnificent basis arrangements: the basslines and percussions are perfectly constructed and performed, giving the dancey features to the tracks; add to that marvelous guitar works, plus a magical flute and a sexy trumpet here and there, and you'll have an album so full of life and meaning, that it suddenly becomes understanding why most people didn't get it.

PS: about the cover artworks: "Kylie teamed with then boyfriend French photographer Stéphane Sednaoui and together they did one of her most artsy and impressive artworks. On the cover she looks both sacred and mundane under that vial with such heavy make-up."

The Ho: In the majestic closing number, Dreams, Kylie Minogue has an existential dialect with herself as she says she "wants every man but love only one" and "to be a sinner, a saint, a lover, a friend". The whole album is pretty much summed up in this dualistic, ambiguously dark mood where Kylie for the first time reveals what she's really all about. Her rage is felt in the stunning Too Far, while she brings formalistic joy to Drunk which she performs as if in the middle of an alcohol induced argument with herself. Limbo is a space ode that deals with earthy feelings and Cowboy Style's cultural pastiche is delightful. It's funny to think that there is no musical coherence in the album, since almost every song feels different from the others, yet somehow as she goes from the indie pop explosion of Some Kind of Bliss to the trance like Breathe we realize there actually is a conductor thread to the album: Ms. Minogue herself. And as with the whole of the album we come to a delicious paradox: how can we expect homogenous behavior from someone so complex?

PS: about the cover artworks: "it instantly takes me to the line in Cowboy Style where she says 'you are from the temple, won't you stay a while'. I LOVE her silent expression, 'cause she seems to have found peace in her very own temple (which is what IP is all about imo)."

Top 12*: 1. Some Kind Of Bliss; 2. Breathe; 3. Dreams; 4. Limbo; 5. Drunk; 6. Too Far; 7. Cowboy Style; 8. I Don't Need Anyone; 9. Say Hey; 10. Jump; 11. Through The Years; 12. Did It Again

*The album has 12 songs, but we love it so much it'd be cruel for our marriage to select just 5, so we reordered the tracks based on our love to them.

2000 - Light Years [Parlophone]

Moi: There are two ways of seeing this album. The cynic one says: after the Impossible Princess flop she decided to return to easy pop and do a commercial flirtacious work that sounds too all over the place even for Minogue. And there's of course the fuck-it one, which happens to be mine: the moment Light Years kicks in with the inviting guitar and uplifting lyrics of Spinning Around you just feel compelled to join Minogue in her leave-the-past-in-the-past proposal and evolve around. But since I'm a cynical bitch I can't help thinking sometimes this is like the shallow smile you give after someone you love hurts you; but truth be told as the album grows in you, you just don't care about that and enjoy the happiness it contains. Her heartbroken tone is of course present under that premise we know [and love], in songs like the overly sad Disco Down and the anthem On A Night Like This.

PS: about Please Stay and us: "Kylie did a ballad version of her Come Into My World hit on her last two tours. If one day she does the same with Please Stay, be sure you'll lose your favorite bitch to a crying heart attack."

The Ho: Kylie's disco renaissance album kicks in with the unapologetic Spinning Around in which she announces an emancipation that became one of the most utterly brilliant pop culture landmarks of the new millennium. The album is a restless masterpiece of dance homage; in Koocachoo she pays tribute to surfer pop, Your Disco Needs You is the song the Pet Shop Boys wish they would've done during their heyday, while the heartbreaking bells in Disco Down evoke the famous dance classics and its mix of musical references with melancholic lyrics achieve dancefloor sublimity. With other highlights including the rockish duet of Kids, the latin guitar infused masterpiece that is Please Stay and the futuristic time warp of the title track, Kylie seems to be taking us on a journey through dance music: past and future. And hell yes, we know we like it like this…

PS: about Please Stay and us: "PS is the highlight of LY for us, we eagerly wait for it to come and then cheer like crazy fuckers because it makes us sad. Worst part is that we wish we could sing it to someone. Yes, we're masochists."

Top 5: 5. Light Years; 4. Disco Down; 3. On A Night Like This; 2. Spinning Around; 1. Please Stay.

2001 - Fever [Parlophone]

Moi: Definitely Kylie Minogue's sexiest album. This dance music euphoria filled with horny lyrics took everybody by the bottom [pun intended] back in 2001 with the instant dance floor classic Can't Get You Out Of My Head; those la la la's split the whole world into lovers and haters of that genius catchy chorus. Either way, no one spent the year without singing [even if unwillingly] the musical interjections that became Kylie's most famous trademark. Fever is as well Minogue's most homogenic album; all the songs have similar electronic elements but in contrary to what cynic people like to say, they have really strong identities. Seeming like she was Prozac-ed most of them don't have the usual dramatic lyrics, and the ones that have it, like Come Into My World and Fragile, are so orgasmic and infectious that there's no time for weeping, just non-stop dancing; still most of it sounds like she got tired of waiting for someone to take her out and just put her best white dress with hood and drove to the party on her gorgeous yellow De Tomaso Mangusa.

Top 5*: 5. Burning Up; 4. Love At First Sight; 3. Come Into My World; 2. Your Love; 1. Can't Get You Out Of My Head.

The Ho: After paying homage to dance in her previous albums, Fever announced the arrival of someone who had created a style all her own. Enveloped by gorgeously subtle string arrangements, synth beeps, a restless bassline and the famous la la la's, Can’t Get You Out Of My Head took the whole world by storm when it was released. The surprise here is that this isn't even the best song in the album. Your Love is a beautiful, thumping love song, while Fever is the cutest song about horniness that I've heard. There's no real uniting line in the album, other than the need to move. The lyrics still carry the melancholic undertones of the past, but aimed more towards easy metaphors and hopeful themes. Even if it talks about obsession more than once, its effects aren't shown through words, but by the beats themselves. Come Into My World is a brilliant moment where every layer repeats itself leading towards a crescendo that never really comes, but we never really want the album to end anyways.

Top 5*: 5. Love Affair; 4. Can't Get You Out Of My Head; 3. Come Into My World; 2. Your Love; 1. Love At First Sight.

*We couldn't come to an agreement for the top 5, so we took separated ways. Relax, it was just a crisis.

2003 - Body Language [Parlophone]

Moi: Minogue's bravest album since Impossible Princess. Really, the release of Slow was a big surprise to everyone who was waiting for a Fever Part Deux, and I ashamedly include myself in that group. The album modernizes the funk beats adding to them delicious electronic and Lounge music elements, making the songs sound nostalgic yet really fresh. It never ceases growing in you, making you love each track even more at every hearing. Reinventing her sexiness to a coquette style, Body Language is again a very conceptual work, in which the songs are more like acts of seduction than sex itself. But surprisingly some songs, like the gorgeous Promises and Someday, sound so bitter you probabaly start thinking Minogue got tired of dancing to keep from crying and decided to stick out her tongue. Either way, the result is an album that feel endless and you suddenly find yourself listening to it over and over again.

PS: about the gorgeous artwork: *turns Madonna voice on* "Bridget Bardot, we love you!"

The Ho: Confession: there was a time when I hated Body Language. Yes, I too was guilty of judging Kylie. After Fever I was expecting something similar and when I got the radically different singles, beginning with Slow I was disappointed. Luckily I decided to buy the album and my misconceptions completely changed. This is perhaps her best album and certainly one of her most experimental. Recurring to delirious 80's beats she seems to be inventing the very concept of “funky”. With songs as Still Standing with its ridiculously catchy chorus and beats, to the stunning Slow which evokes the oxymoronic concepts of videogames and sex, Kylie makes this the perfect pairing of retro and future. But she doesn't conform with merely doing 80's beats, she also gives her shot at jazzy lounge with result dreamlike and resemble French New Wave music. Her greatest achievement here is the masterpiece that is Chocolate, which has perhaps the best lyrics in any Kylie song so far and literally melts you.

PS: about the gorgeous artwork: "I think the art work is deliciously anchronistic: La Bardot selling 80's dance music could only work with Kylie."

Top 5: 5. Loving Days; 4. Promises; 3. Still Standing; 2. Slow; 1. Chocolate

Note: All the reviews were writen separatedly, therefore the quirky coincidences were REALLY quirky and somtimes scary coincidences.

Kylie Minogue Week: Discography Part 1 - PWL Era

*four-hand post by moi and the ho*

I'm aware some of the readers here don't know Kylie discography. So here are mini-reviews for each of her PWL albums.

*Year-Album [Label]*

1988 - Kylie [PWL]

Moi: A pure 80's album, Kylie's debut sometimes sounds like the Teen Pop's stemcell. Kylie was only 18 when she flew from Australia to London to seal a record deal with the SAW trio, who owned PWL. The Loco-Motion cover was a hit in Australia and I Should Be So Lucky had the same destiny in the UK afterwards. Some songs sound too silly nowadays, but most of it is lovely fun, if you like the 80's, of course.

PS: about the hat: "it's infamously funny, therefore I love it."

The Ho: The tiny Aussie debuted with what SHOULD be a quintessential 80's album. All the elements of the era are included here: a fun, campy pop album that somehow feels as if it's segued together, making for a hell of a party that really sends you back in time. But beware: even at the very start Kylie was tricking us by delivering some of the most heartbreaking songs ever; just listen to the hopeful angst of Turn It Into Love and the slightly delusional "I Should Be So Lucky" to find someone who cured her heartbreak with dancing. Despite of this the album's mood is best summarized in a line from one of her most famous hits "it even makes you happy when you’re feeling blue".

PS: about the hat: "I think it's the worst thing that ever happened to her. It looks like it was added later, 'cause she has a gorgeous smile and nobody would be smiling with that thing in their head."

Top 5: 5. The Loco-Motion; 4. Got To Be Certain; 3. I Should Be So Lucky; 2. Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi; 1. Turn It Into Love.

1989 - Enjoy Yourself [PWL]

Moi: This album has a lot of retro elements; I could go anachronic and say she's previewing the retro fever of this decade, but Kylie still had little control over her recording process. So, EY follows the same formula from her debut, but still it's an album that has highlights: for me it's Hand On Your Heart and Never Too Late. Honorable mention: Especially For You [a duet with Jason Danovan, a bonus track on the Land-Down-Under's edition].

The Ho: The opener "Hand on Your Heart" should be named official anthem for those of us who reject rejection. This is my least favorite Kylie album because it often feels like a mix tape (surely because of a sophomore rush); one part has a retro Kylie singing big band songs atop a piano, while the other has her partying like it was 1989. The concepts never fit together but just as we’re about to dismiss the album as a whole, the closing number Enjoy Yourself (which feels like a sarcastic remark considering how dull the middle gets) is enough to make us forget most of it and is promising enough to prepare us for the bliss that would come next.

Top 5: 5. I'm Over Dreaming (Over You); 4. Enjoy Yourself; 3. Never Too Late; 2. Wouldn't Change A Thing; 1. Hand On Your Heart.

1990 - Rhythm Of Love [PWL]

Moi: If you manage to keep yourself stopped through the majority of this album, congratulations you're a soul-less rock. In ROL Kylie starts to coyly take control over her creative process, writing some songs. But the strongest pieces of this album are unfrotunately not written by Miss Minogue. This album, that tends to be most fans' favorite, is filled with her biggest hits, or at least best disco anthems. Besides, her happy tune/gloomy lyrics syndrome is in full mode; c'mon y'all, there's nothing sadder than Better The Devil You Know and What Do I Have To Do?!

The Ho: Kylie’s first "mature" album opens with a holy trinity; "Better the Devil You Know" is arguably the greatest song she has ever done and now affirming what would be her trademark (sad lyrics with uplifting beats) it announced a sexier, wiser Kylie was arriving. It's followed by Step Back in Time and the stunning "What Do I Have to Do" which only lead to an exquisitely blissful record that defines pop music in the early 90s. Every track here is amazing, even the lesser ones feel good because of all the genius they're surrounded by. In the end it feels like a meta irony that in one song Kylie tells us that "when we can’t find the music, all we can do is step back in time". In these times when so much of what's going on musically is so disappointing, her affirmation feels like a prophecy that sends us dancing back to her.

Top 5: 5. Always Find The Time; 4. Step Back In Time; 3. Shocked; 2. What Do I Have To Do?; 1. Better The Devil You Know

1991 - Let's Get To It [PWL]

Moi: My favorite album from the PWL era. Here Kylie goes urban introducing herself to the real 90's era; most of the songs are R&B/urban clichés that are still so lovely and constructed in an enchanting way I simply cannot ignore, even if I'm not much of an urban fan. I really love each track from this underrated marvel [by the fans, the critics loved it], except the If You Were With Me Now duet, that happens to be the only Kylie song I really hate. Aside the singles, the highlights for me are Too Much Of A Good Thing and Let's Get To It.

The Ho: Truth be told I find this album almost completely inconsequential in Kylie's career. Most of it feels as if she was trying to leave a whole era behind and say everything she needed to say about synthpop, 80's music and corny ballads (which is why most songs feel like different versions of the others, making the whole instantly forgettable). Which is why the only highlights for me here are Give Me Just a Little More Time with its insanely romantic, retro mood and the masterpiece that is Finer Feelings, find me a song that better aims at making peace with our animalistic and sentimental sides and I will give you an award.

Top 5: 5. Word Is Out; 4. Too Much Of A Good Thing; 3. Let's Get To It; 2. Give M Just A Little More Time; 1. Finer Feelings

Kylie Minogue Week: Top 10 Best Underused Songs

[click on the songs to download*]

There are always those tracks from our favorite artists' albums that are never used, either as b-sides or in live concerts, and we don't understand why, because they're simply perfect and sometimes better [in our opinions] than certain choices. So, as continuation of the Kylie Minogue week here's the top 10 favorite songs, never used in a show, or as a single or b-side, or even officially released.

Honorable mentions:

- Give Me Just A Little More Time [from Let's Get To It]

I don't understand how this uplifting and charming cover was never sung live while other boring ones, like Tears On My Pillow and Celebration [luv it, but prefer "Gimme"], were. And the fact it was a single release makes me even more disappointed whenever a tour setlist is announced and it's not there.

- Secret (Take You Home) [from Body Language]

It was performed live on the BL release pocket show, Money Can't Buy, but despite rumors at the time, was never released as a single. And it should! It's totally fun and Kylie RAPS in it!! Man, it's so cool!

- Drunk [from Impossible Princess]

When I reviewed Impossible Princess on a forum I said this to be my favorite song on the album; and it still is. The restless song about love obsession [ha! that's why I like it... duh!] is one of her best constructions. Both song and lyrics are all over the place and loud as if she's really drunk and G-d, the way she sings it! Simply genius.

10. Where In The World? [from Greatest Hits]

When I first heard this song I didn't care much about it. Truth be told it's a bit corny edging the tacky; but there's a drama-queen aspect about it, sung by Kylie with her usual heartbroken tone, that made this song suddenly find its way into me.

9. Time Will Pass You By [from Kylie Minogue (aka KM94)]

This song is so gay! In all conotations of the word. But if you're one of those who love uplifting songs you can't deny this song's charm. Check out the chorus and you'll totally understand what I'm talking about: "life is just a precious minute baby/open up your eyes and see it baby/give yourself a better chance because/time will pass you, right on by." It is so enchanting and combined to the song's happy beats and campy sax solo, make the track perfect for playing on a prom party or for your corniest moment in convincing a guy he should pick you. [Note to self: you're allowed to love this song, of course, but totally prohibited of executing this latter idea.]

8. Someday [from Body Language]

There's an ambient feeling in this track that is simply soothing, plus Kylie's acute vocals sound to be cooing into your ear the rather bitter lyrics; if I ever have a lounge bar this song will be a constant play. I've always imagined an artsy video for this, playing with lights and tones of beige, while Kylie would be in perfect black, dark like the lyrics and the genius bassline. Oh the bassline! Do yourselves a favor, download this and listen to it. Simply genius.

7. Disco Down [from Light Years]

This song is an example of my favorite Kylie contradiction. You all know that I adore the fact Kylie's songs are mostly massive dance tracks combined with some of the saddest lyrics in Pop music. "Disco Down" is the epitome of this Kylie aspect. The song's electronically involving synths and beats and the cute bells cheer you up, until you hear the lyrics. She should be arrested for playing this way with us, because you oughta be really drunk to ignore this song's sad and full of saudade story. Okay, check out the chorus and you'll totally understand what I mean: "and you turned my world around/when you burned this disco down/why'd you leave to find yourself/I can't dance with no-one else/and still there's memories of this town/when you burned this disco down/[and after all this time, I still wonder where you are]."

6. I'm Sorry [unreleased]

This song from the Body Language sessions was leaked last year on the web, and it instantly became a favorite. I particularly like to listen to it while I drive; there's one thing about it that I both love and dread, and am always craving for: the feeling of possiblity. When you fall in love everything seems fresh and new, but Kylie [geniusly] pull herself/us straight to reality saying: "I don't ever want to say that I must go/I don't ever want to say I'm sorry/if you ever feel those words then let me know/I don't ever want to hear I'm sorry."

5. Sweet Music [from Body Language]

Body Language is all about bottom. Every single song has basslines perfectly constructed to make you move your hips even if you don't know how to. This lovely meta-song is obviously about sex, but the way it uses music writing process elements as a metaphor to the sexual seduction and consumation is funny, adorable and clever, something that even fans I bet never paid much attention to.

4. I Don't Need Anyone [from Impossible Princess]

This and Some Kind Of Bliss were the starting points of the genius Impossible Princess album. Until Impossible Princess, Kylie had always written "safe - just neatly rhymed words" and IP was a turning point in Kylie's career both lyrically and musically. An album that mostly runs away from her known dance basis, it has lot of rock elements and more confessional and poetic lyrics. The album of course wasn't well received by the general public and some critics.

"I Don't Need Anyone" is an ironic piece in which Kylie declares a self-sufficiency that captivates especially my bitchy side. The chorus goes "I don't anyone/except for someone that I don't know" and is the claiming of a person that is still looking after someone to complete her, even if she doesn't like to clearly admit it. You know that's me you guys.

3. Automatic Love [from Kylie Minogue]

This love song, third part of what I call The Dramatic Trilogy [its predecedors are Put Yourself In My Place and Dangerous Game] from the KM94 album, is simply a lovely song. The strings section here is magnificent, combined with a minimalistic piano and Kylie's heartfelt vocals. Its beauty takes you by surprise like the love it describes. For me it's a big shame that this track was so underused; to say it was never considered it was sung live in a talk show in Portugal back in 1994, but the fact it was totally ignored as single and on tours makes my drama-queen side work on full mode.

2. Lovin' You [unreleased]

When her second greatest hits compilation, the Ultimate Kylie, was planned, some songs were written. One of them was instantly chosen to appear on the album: the marvelous Scissor Sisters collaboration I Believe In You; but as I once read on Kylie forums [can't say if this info is totally true], when it came time to choose the other track, she picked Giving You Up instead of Lovin' You. Even if I adore GYU to death, I love Lovin' You forever. The quirkyalone song about loving a person and still maintaining the individuality has lounge-esque synths combined with perfect dance beats, and is to be my eternal anthem. It also escapes from Kylie's routine of being heartbreaking even on uptempo tracks; the fact she dared to do something different from her costumary [even if involuntary] premise puts this song on my all time favorites list.

1. Your Love [from Fever]

The fact that this song was never ever used anywhere is for me one of the greatest injustices from Kylie's career. It completely possessed me at the first hearing; the helplessly romantic lyrics are sung with one of Kylie's best vocal moments. Her performance is of course heartfelt and -breaking that fits perfectly the beautiful acoustic guitar that goes along with it. When I checked out the KylieFever 2002 setlist and noticed it wasn't there I surely got disappointed; sounding like an ode to the fans it would work as a perfect faux-end, right after Better The Devil You Know. But nah, it was not only discarded there as it remains as one of the biggest ignored tracks of hers, even by the fans [which for me is a huge sin].

[*note to whoever: if you ever run into this post and the links are broken, leave a comment on the latest entry with your email and I'll gladly send the song you want.]

Kylie Minogue Week: KylieFever

To kick off my Kylie Minogue week I chose to [re]watch Kylie's first big live concert: the 2002 tour KylieFever. Her shows, despite being exquisite and exciting live performances never were much of a big production. Why? Well, Kylie was never an overrated Pop singer with a huge label behind her ideas; still she was always able to deliver amazing show concepts despite the little budget. Until of course the advent of Can't Get You Out Of My Head and the Fever album.
On this self-indulgent [in a good way] one she revisited her many reinventions aided by William Baker & Alan McDonald's designs and marvelous Dolce & Gabbana's costumes. However, believe it or not, Kylie goes political here as well!
The tour's main plot consists in a futuristic world divided in ghettos driven by mainly hedonism, which is an artistic projection from the 21st century society. Like she sings on the first song of the Fever album, More More More [unfortunately not on the tour's setlist], "make me sigh with sheer delight" is all what human beings seem to be about in this new world, forgetting how heartbreaking and tiresome this life must be sometimes. It reminds me a bit of the planet SoGo from Barbarella. The best part of it all is that Minogue never implodes the world she created by judging it, which makes us look through it with the best of lenses: the fun one.
Supporting all of this there's a collection of pop culture/cinematic references enough to deliver chills on anyone's spine, especially those who dumbly took Minogue as a third age cheer leader. On the first, set, Silvanemesis, we receive a Metropolis morphed Kylie. We all know that the Fritz Lang's classic is about a cold and robotic human race. Rafael Bonachela's choreography is then perfect, with robotic and sexy moves, outlining the glamourous droid-leader that Kylie became.
Later we get to see my favorite reference. On the Droogie Nights [DN] set Kylie incarnates the mischievous and marvelous, my beloved, Alexander DeLarge. Kubrick's [also] futuristic masterpiece is also about careless often cruel human beings ruled by their carnal desires. It's a marvel to see D&G's reinvention of the droogs' costumes; the funny burlesque tables from the bar Alex and his droogs take their vellocets come to life as sensual pale dolls. It's pure pleasure with the rest of the sets, also filled with references from the UK TV series Doctor Who to 1992's cult classic The Crying Game.
At this set, Kylie takes a classical and romantic turn right after the unruly Spinning Around [in the DN]. The pleasure goddess shows signs of the humanity we often romanticize, by revealing her true [but dark] colors. As the lights dim, we hear Minogue's voice-over recitation from her 1994 song Where Is The Feeling?; the mood is set for an introspective moment when the main-prostitute is to question her own life style. "I know all there is to know about the crying game", she declares as soon as she emerges from the shadows. The queen is heartbroken and not even the wild night of Sex In Venice that she takes two sets after will remove from our memories [and hers] the melancholic state she/we get after a disappointment. Everything sounds corny, maybe it is how it's supposed to be within this campy festival; whenever she says "I hear that you're love now, baby I don't know what to say. I can't believe that I still feel this way"... you feel these are some of the most heartbreaking lines one can ever utter at such moment. Okay, she wonders more: "what is love without the finer feelings? It's just sex without the sexual healing." And when she gets to the conclusion that "the feeling still remains, and the ember feeds the flame" we can only be in chorus with her that we "don't want no more of the crying game."
As the jorney approaches an end we find Kylie questioning herself again ["caught up in a crossfire, nobody gets it, I'm finding it hard to contain myself... lost in limbo"] and wishing to escape from such mad world ["I'll take you in my capsule out of here"]. To enter into this delightful Pandora's box Kylie created to promote her 2001 dance tour-de-force album is to surely get her fever of changing and moving. The queen of such world unashamedly shows her desire to throw her own invention into a vulcan [the VoodooInferno set] in order to create it again with, maybe new foundations. It's not hard to feel compelled to wish for the same, as if we get Kylie's reinvention fever. "Oh fever sure has got me good... don't you feel the fever like I do?"

Kylie Minogue Week: At Ocean's Thirteen Benefit Dinner

So... in Cannes there she was having the meal she paid more than a million for [the money went to AIDS research, so okay to pay a fortune to dine with George Clooney], when spotlight-whore [in a good way] Sharon Stone goes up and scream "soo, who wants to hear Kylie Minogue sing?" According to LK Today Kylie had no idea she was to perform, but accepted the kidding-challenge and went on the stage. And guess what... okay see it for yourselves.

Kylie Minogue Week

Kill me!

I just found that today's Kylie's birthday! How could such a schizo-fan like me couldn't know that before? In my defense, I don't even remember my sister's bday okay [kidding].

So, to rectify my sin, from today to Sunday there will be daily posting(s) on the second part part of my Holy Trinity. For the delight of the eventual fans that'll come along, the ho... and myself. And for those who don't know much about this G-d, as well.

[Song: More, More, More - Kylie Minogue]