Life and destiny are so funny. Two posts away I finished it talking about a guy; well, he's a man with history. The thing is that his record though darkish, isn't so far that harmful for me. You all remember comment guy and our closure, but life/love is kinda crazy with a spooky little boy like destiny.
About two or three weekends ago I hooked up with this guy who turned out to be a comment guy's ex. No wait, not a comment guy's ex, the ex for whom he kicked my ass. Shocks dang you know what I'm saying y'all?!
Of course I only knew he was he after the happenstance; if I'd known previously it'd probably weight on my horniness for him, because the guy is indeed a hottie. But the thing is his history. Red [aka CG] had told me some pretty weird-slash-funny-slash-lame-slash-ridiculous things about him and this guy [to whom I haven't given a nickname yet - help me out here ho!], that involved cheating and the word psychopath. Lol.
But there are times in your life you simply give hand of past stories and just live the now, and whatever he did to the aborigine [aka Red] is somehow meaningless to me, after all I don't get involved in other people's personal craps; especially if they're some sort of persona non grata in my head [oui I'm still to get over that part of heartbreak healing when you hate the person who slashed your heart]. So I seeked my pleasure by hooking up with this guy a couple of times more.
Anywho the reason of this whole rambling is that I spent another sleepless Friday at this pub named Apogeu - the only really cool place to go in town. Anderson is a waiter there. And he got a new haircut, that improved himself brightly; Lucas was drunk and needy [romancelessness and drama - always always always!] so I flirted with him wildly again. By the morning when he was not working anymore and the bar had only as costumers me and a friend - who are less like costumers and more like friends of the crew - I offered him a ride. That had to be called off because my horniness erased from my mind that my dad had an appointment in the morning and was going to need the car; so I fled to bring the car home and as soon as I arrived I called him, and suddenly I was in a bus at half past 6AM going to meet him in front of this hotel, to then go to his place.
Between the kisses and cuddles I sleepily looked into his eyes, with a Ninotchka glance and crooked smile, and said:
"I'm going to tell you a secret."
"Tell me," he said.
"I wanna have sex with you." [Pause.] "But not today."
I confess that that was a clear sign of my romancelessness, but in any case it seemed to boost even more his enthusiasm towards me. And as I kept stopping his hands to move even more forward, we fell asleep.
Tonight when I left to return some DVDs I looked up and noticed there was no moon; but still the sky was gorgeous. There was a bright feature like the certainty that above the clouds the sun still shines; except that at this hour it did through the moon.
Lately - and I forgot to add that to my yesterday's list - I've been watching sunsets with my friends and there's really no sunset as perfect as here's. Salvador has a similar one, if you go to the right place, but Conquista... anywhere is perfection.On these Spring nights the sky is pretty much an awesome view to watch, even in cloudy days like these [it's rain season as well]. Tonight I didn't resist and took pictures.
So, I hereby certify myself that whenever this town gets absurdly boring, I'll have nature to look at... even on my bitchiest hours.
Last night after I finished watching Heroes' 1st season on DVD, I logged on after a considerably long period [comparing my past recent MSN-life]. Marce asked me how come I haven't been posting in a long while and I realized that my previous entry sounded like a good justification, if any was necessary.
I am indeed living this productive social life that at the same time is not so productive. I'm meeting people, drinking, having fun; I'm really happy like this and have no regrets. But sometimes I do miss the patience to sit in front of the computer and just let my mind go until a post was written. The other day I realized I missed writing my varied and worth-for-nothing-but-still-fun-to-do lists.
But Alais's comment on the last entry was the one that made something click inside me. She said: "like your last blog post ;D" and a flame in my heart fainted [yes, I'm still that dramatically corny]. My web life has been giving me amazing experiences and evolution; I do not deny or want to leave it behind by living the "real" life; but the latter is, like the post before says, happening so fast that I lose track of time. But most of the time I simply don't think that re-telling my life is the real intention of this blog.
So, not in an attempt to justify myself, but simply to let whoever is interested know what I've been doing, and also to nourish this silly cute longing, here goes a lil' list of The Things That's Been Hooking Lucas Lately:
- Nalim ["the beautifullest, fragilest, still strong..."]: just been hanging a lot with her. Tonight we went to the sushi place and she's the person I mostly get my kicks out of.
- I've been studying again for vestibular; with Nalim. We're not actually studying, just reminding ourselves of those worthless Math/Physics/Chemistry formulas while we most of the time busy our heads with cooler stuffs like politics, philosophy, music, cinema and er... weed.
- Roberta Sá: this amazing Samba singer has already been featured here and her second album is all I crave to listen to in the morning [aka whatever hour I wake up] or when I drive. Her beautiful and smooth voice, the expressive performance and the perfect pronunciation from the Portuguese words have been theme of enthusiastic conversations with my dad, as well as the rescue of the good, decent and original Brazillian music. The song Belo Estranho Dia De Amanhã, from her sophomore album is one of my favorites by her, just check it out on the white box at the left.
- Patience has been tested in the form of people...
- I'm horny as fuck... and still sexless.
- The Puppini Sisters, Vanessa Da Mata, Antony And The Johnsons, Bebel Gilberto, Sophie Ellis-Bextor and Marisa Monte have also been constant guests to "the party in my head".
- As mentioned in the beginning I've been watching Heroes and I just think that Hayden Panettiere is the cutest thing in the world. And I'm so happy that she can really act; her sad lost looks break my heart and puts me thinking in what a cool contrast they have with her ability; after all, no genetic evolution can heal heartbreaks. Okay enough nerding...
- I'm now watching Lost's 3rd season. Lost still grabs my attention, but it doesn't shock me like before. At least so far...
One of the weirdest/coolest things of living intensely your life is the fact that at some point you lose the sense of time.
Ever since I moved to Conquista I started having a life totally different from the closed-up one I ended up having in Salvador; I've been going out and meeting my friends and people in a daily basis and I've come to face a feature of this wild life I'm carrying: I, most of the time, lose track of time.
Sometimes when we get to the late night, feels like that what we did in the afternoon was days ago. My trip to the Chapada for example, it feels like an age ago, but it's been only a week; that twisted notion of time didn't happen in Lençóis [the Chapada], though. No matter how high or drunk I was I knew perfectly the time of everything, even not having clocks and watches to tell the hour we were.
They say here that when time starts to fly like this it's an Apocalypse sign. Of course I don't believe that, but if it were true I'd be glad to be living so intensely; but I cannot deny the pinch of nostalgia for the time when a day had indeed 24 hours and not only 4.
So, yesterday I posted that and went to live the day I had great power over my own destiny: the last day of the year, the first day of Rosh Hashanah. I took a nice and quick shower so I'd go to the bank for my dad. When i got my bag to leave I realized my wallet wasn't there; and after searching around the house, the car and calling everyone I had been with the day before if they had seen it, I realized I had lost it.
So I left to the bank really upset and on the verge of a stress attack. At the bank I was supposed to get a number to be assisted, but there were no more number. That could be THE drop for me to have a drama-queen redux on the last day of the year. Instead I took notice that there were only three people before me in the line and decided to patiently wait to talk to the woman. After I left there I lit a ciggie and went to meet Purki at Drops, this cool store where all theCCs buy their clothes because it's the only place that sells alternative fashion in town. There I improved my mood by helping to create a bottons' expo, eating like Gilbert Grape's mother and smoking.
But the actual meaningful part of this hangout was that at the snack bar table I mentioned the RH to my friends, and they all started doing lists for the next year. Later at night we all ended up at a cool cozy bar, where we could smoke freely; as soon as we got there we asked the head waiter to put the Confessions Tour DVD on... and as we Madged and drank wildly the ones that hadn't done their lists then did.
The fact that we were all drinking and having a good time might mean that our new year might be fun and pleasant as well. That's a possibility. In the end it was a cute night that ended like this:
At the Chapada we had to climb all these hills and go through major sticks and stones to get to the beautiful place we were looking for. The thing that went through my mind as I breathed that clear and pure air, that I was not so used to inhale, was that those obstacles I was going through were to get me to a greater purpose. Hiking requires attention and a certain discipline that today seem like a perfect metaphor. Today's Rosh Hashanah, the day we have power over our own destiny, therefore the day our actions will have even more importance because they will permeate our following year. Not that if you are mean today you will have a horrible year, everything's workable and subject to change, but today we have the opportunity to start things in a better way. So, the exercise we're proposed to do is a simple list of the things we want for the next year. Of course it's not the simple listing that changes and/or sets our fortune, but also the way we behave to accomplish them. In Kabbalah we believe that to get something we must give it, so here I'll list the things I want next year. - to be a better person. - to be more healthy. - to be nicer and more comprehensive to people. - to be more responsible with myself, my deeds in life and my behavior towards the world. - to appreciate more what I have and be more patient. - to have a meaningful and lasting romantic relationship. - to enhance my current relationships and keep being open minded to new possibilities in life. If you wanna read a bit more about Rosh Hashanah, go here and here. [Song: Belo Estranho Dia De Amanhã - Roberta Sá]
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
That's what we learn from heartache to heartache, deception after deception, that empowers our souls in the art of moving on. In the morning when I realized/remembered today was September 11 I decided I would make a post about it... reflecting about it.
Whenever I remember it I wonder how long will we keep mistreating ourselves with unkindness and intolerance. Each action has a reaction and somehow 09.11 was a reaction to Americans [especially their government] action towards the rest of the world. By all means, I'm absolutely not endorsing the terrorists actions, but one thing people should've asked when things happened was "what did we do to be treated this way?", instead of "how could they do this to me?".
Funny thing is that today a couple of friends' story/trouble had a complete messy and somehow idiotic turn. Harsh things were said, hearts were broken, ties were unnecessarily undone, and as a dear friend tearfully wondered on my shoulder if she would get over this I instantly remembered the phrase that starts this entry and the terrorist attacks in New York six years ago. They changed the whole world and my generation's way of viewing and dealing with the world... well, at least me. Because most of us still keep hurting each other, saying things we shouldn't when we shouldn't, doing things we regret later. I'm not perfect and I still find myself stumbling on the way with my thoughts.
But mankind is in constant changing, which means we're in the process of something; leading to "sticks and stones" always very present and frequent on one's paths. But the same way we fall because of them, once on the floor we can still use them to get up on our feet one more time and keep walking.
From time to time I get new musical obsessions. My newest one in spite of the previous post is not Rihanna. The artists I've been listening repeatedly like an OCD attack are The Puppini Sisters.
The trio formed by Italian Marcella Puppini and Brits Stephanie O'Brien and Kate Mullins are not really related, but being Puppini a 1930's-40's freak she got inspired by the aura of the close harmony singing groups from that era, especially The Andrew Sisters. The results are festive and surprisingly delicious Jazz/Bebop versions of famous Pop hits such as, Heart Of Glass and I Will Survive.
On my studies I came across the marvelous official site, one of the coolest things I'd seen on the web lately. So, if you got curious visit the site and check out the Beyoncé's Crazy In Love's bebop version for the upcoming album. As for me, I'm addicted to their versions of Kate Bush's Wuthering Heights, and Java Jive.
Question repeated: got curious? this time go on the left-bar and listen to the tracks I've uploaded.
[Song: Tu Vuo' fa L'Americano - The Puppini Sisters]
I hate Rihanna. But contrarily to my hate towards the male Gyllenhaal my disgust to this Beyoncé-wannabe is lighter. True that Rihanna probably has the worst voice in the current R&B, but the bitch is so clever that she's always teaming up with producers that do her songs so shitty, so crappy, so stinky that in the end they become AWESOME!! I never got into S.O.S., for example, but I must admit that those synths on the intro and the Confessions On A Dance Floor reference of the video were cool enough. So then earlier this year there was the friggin' annoying but absolutely catchy Umbrella, turning out to be one of the sing-a-long-able and cool Pop song from this year. And now, oh mi brothers, I had to listen to Don't Stop The Music to write the Voceve podcast and shit!! I'm majorly addicted to it!! And fuck, I also hate that bitch for having the coolest hair of celebritihood nowadays!!
And what the hell is "ma me se, ma me sa, ma ma coo sa"? I just know I love singing it. [Song: Don't Stop The Music - Rihanna]
On the mini-review I wrote about Madonna's new song that never got posted by motherfucker-Blogger, I wrote that it has the catchy quality that most of Madge songs happens to have. Therefore I hereby confess that I'm majorly addicted to it. Truth be told, even if it sounds like a Nelly Furtado imitation, I love Furtado and Madonna has always been the most competent of Pop artists in imitation, so it's actually no surprise that this song would get to me at some point. The beats are contagious and gorgeous and those b-section and chorus are so dang catchy that it's almost impossible not to feel seduced by them. The "let's do something different" intro is still laughable, but I can't say that in this time of my life and fanship I care about Madonna's [real or jocose] prepotency.
I've been reading and there's this new Apple project called The Beat Goes On, due to be officially launched today, and it's very quirky considering that Madonna and Apple are like sweethearts ever since the Confessions On A Dance Floor release, when she signed to have all of her songs available for iTunes. Of course this is all fandom speculation and actually a bit of freakiness I will not waste time on.
But TBGO-fever got me so good I'm even satisfied if it's released as first single and am a bit more excited about her new old beats.
[Song: The Beat Goes On - Madonna (upped on the bitchy playlist on the left)]