The Songs Of 2008

This blog is out of date cos I'm into writing in my own language. But I'll post this list cos I want the ho to read it.

The Bubbling-Under:

20. "Like You'll Never See Me Again" by Alicia Keys/"Lamento" by Céu
Although the former sounds like a song played in any Felicity episode, it swayed my best and lonely soap-opera-ish moments. The later was one of my faves at the psycodelic moments and sunsets during the year.

19. "Wikked Lil' Grrrls" by Esthero
Esthero was one of the most scrumptious discovers of the year. This song, that blends Hip Hop and Jazz, had the charming Canadienne singing in so many different voices that she sounded like a whole girl band, but better harmonized.

18. "Nanny Nanny Boo Boo" by Le Tigre
I've had an Electroklash momentum and Le Tigre is the best band for me. This song is deliciously poser joke about the cult of fame.

17. "Let Me Know" by Róisín Murphy
The most sensual woman from the [Dance] Electronica scene. LMK is one of the most romantic and sexy Pop songs and has one of the coolest videos I'd seen this year.

16. "Warwick Avenue" by Duffy
Yes, I prefer Duffy than Winehouse and this song comes on the peak of my drama-queenism.

15. "Rapture" by Blondie
Including one of the coolest raps from Pop Music history, "Rapture" is the opening song of my imaginary band.

14. "Let's Reggae All Night" by CSS
For months my moto was "if you want, my friend, we can drink in the afternoon". Result: after several alcoholic months, one day I ate a light sandwich and spent the night puking. Conclusion: keep junkie. Viva CSS!!

13. "Boyz" by M.I.A.
May it be "missing in action" or "missing in Acton", these two terms aren't enough to summarize who owns this alias: Mathangi "Maya" Arulpragasam. "Boyz", from her second album Kala, is the aesthetic ideal blend of Dance, World Music [although this is a poor category to box M.I.A. in] and political lyrics.

12. "Like A Drug" by Kylie Minogue
Minogue is part of a group of artists that never lets me down. This sexy and suggestive track, from X, was the one that mostly reverberated this year.

11. "Modern Love [Mark Moore & Kinky Roland Vox 12" Mix]" by Kish Mauve
Mima makes me think of artsy divas like Edie Sedgewick or Twiggy. She has the cold sexiness and beauty that Ladyhawke forgot in New Zealand.

Top 10:

10. "Migrate" by Mariah Carey
Factum #1: I don't like Mariah Carey.

Factum #2: I'm never that rough when what she does at least amused me.

This year Carey released the sequel from her ultra-hype 2005 album, The Emancipation Of Mimi, the E=MC². It got mixed reviews and didn't please the fans so much; as for me, luved it!, perhaps cos in her attempt to show that she has the brains in her head and not in the boobs, playing with Einstein's mass–energy equivalence, Mariah doesn't seem much like the annoying and boring Mariah we know.

"Migrate" has one of the nicest openings of 2008 Pop; besides it has Carey doing what she does best: self-celebratory lyrics that are actually fun.

09. "Black And Gold" by Sam Sparro
My favorite male discovery: Sparro is talented, hot, Aussie and gay! lol Not that the latter is a premise for me liking an artist, but it's way more real to fancy sexy with him than with Julian Casablancas, for instance. "Black And Gold", best track from his debut album, has ultra-romantic lyrics that always kills me and it was one of the best ElectroPop singles of the year; it also swayed my trip to Rome.

08. "American Boy" by Estelle
Spoken as 2008's Hip Hop revelation, Estelle was the first artist of the genre that i actually became fan. After her I opened myself to the wonderful land of Hip Hop.

Featuring Kanye West [gênio!], "American Boy" is one of those radio songs you're not afraid to admit you love, cos it's actually pretty good!

There I was at the backseat of my cousin's ex-husband's backseat, on my last night in Italy, beside my [cute] cousin's son listening to a "mix-tape" he made and I couldn't help feeling fuzzy inside when we sang it from top to bottom.

07. "Je Veux Te Voir" by Yelle
Finding Yelle was one of the most fun things of the year. Like every French girl, she's chic and glamourous, but it was her deprived and blasé features that got me hooked. Pure IndiePop fashion and naughty songstress, Yelle's music are exciting for its explicit lyrics, but above all, for the wonderful production worthy of any dancefloor.

06. "Electric Feel" by MGMT
Indiest moment of the year, MGMT was recived by me with some resistence. The hype around them irritated me at first because the psychodelic album Oracular Espectacular sounded like nothing more than a faux-modernization from 1970's Prog Rock. The way indie world copies the past and unashamedly call it retro always pissed me off, but in the end I lost cos the duo's music is actually pretty.

"Electric Feel" is about the shocks we feel when we see the creature we have a crush on... and Lord knows how much I'm addicted to them.

05. "Paparazzi" by Lady GaGa
This year's most recent addition is Lady GaGa, my current Pop adoration object. "Paparazzi", according with Germanotta, is indeed a stalker song, but much more about our daily obsession with the celebrity life, perpetuated by the loved/hated paparazzi. For me it's romantic, dramatic and lovely to sing-along, like every Pop song should be.

04. "That's Not My Name" by The Ting Tings
Jules De Martino and Katie White, The Ting Tings, are the current personification of cool. Best ElectroPop release of the year they are posers, but talented - that's why I talked a lot about them during the year.

"That's Not My Name" is a genius Electro song that always puts everyone rocking, plus it has fun lyrics about the contempt the industry has on artists that don't follow their patterns. The lyrics also synthesizes the duo bio, they were discarded by labels until they reached Britains pop-charts with this track.

03. "Womanizer" by Britney Spears
Yes, she's been one of the most trashed human beings of the past year, but in 2008 Britney Spears REALLY returned!!! Although she's not as complete as I wished, I can't deny how much she's evolved as an artist. Circus IS one of the best albums of the year and is the proof Spears are capable to do real good stuff. I had noticed with 2007's Blackout, but only when I wrote Circus's review that I could express arguments about Spears's evolution: it's like she's finally lived and now has tales to tell.

Although nowadays Womanizer isn't my favorite track from "Circus", it was important as the mark of Britney's return to mainstream.

Britney's top 5:
a. Womanizer
b. Kill The Lights
c. If U Seek Amy
d. Phonography
e. Shattered Glass

02. "My Love Is Better" by Annie
I spent most of the year following Annie. When I read she was producing her sophomore album and that it'd be released this year, I revesited her discography, searched her references and craved for every track tht leaked. 2008 was the year that being an Annie fan became important for me, because I realized the underestimated maturity she has as an asrtist. Unfortunately Don't Stop [although being fully leaked on the web] will not be released this year and risks not seeing the daylight: Island Records did to Annie what Mercury Records did to White and De Martino. And now, labeless, she keeps writing and producing songs for her new album, that I really hope is released.

"My Love Is Better" [produced by Xenomania] is an essentially Pop track, with catchy chorus, LSD-ish synths and Diva pose.

Annie's top 5:
a. My Love Is Better
b. I Know Ur Girlfriend Hates Me
c. I Can't Let Go
d. What Do You Want [Breakfast Song]
e. Marie Cherie

01. "Heartbeat" by Madonna
I was one of the people that trashed Hard Candy at first. Last week I read an article from the Washington Post that explained this weird relationship Madonna's fans X Madonna's new work: when Madonna releases a new album [and consequently a whole new artistic and imagetic proposal] most of the fans spend hours explaining why they hate the new album, to then have a change of heart and buzz at friends' ears saying why they now love it.

With me and "Hard Candy" was the very same thing. I coudln't understand how there could be a Madonna album in which she wasn't the one and only star. By working with mega-hyped producers and not with the Industry's underworld beings, she got out of her comfort zone and shared the spotlight. What mostly comforts me as a critical human being is that not only the fans but also the media didn't get that like many other, this was totally predicted move in her career.

In 2008 Madonna turned 50 and once again the world demanded a certain behaviour from her, and once again she refused to accept it. Months after the album's release, she started touring with her Sticky & Sweet Tour. It was when I heard the repertoire's musical reinventions and read about the show's concept that I finally understood that Madonna wasn't the same, thank G-d!

The concert was conceived as a musical patchwork quilt, like a Hip Hop album/show, using samples and various visual references. The self-celebration was more than comprehensible, after all, like a friend says "Madonna is a person that immortalize images"; and she is now in a moment of life [third age] in which not only a woman's image but everything about her is rejected by society. Still Madonna not only proved she has a lot to say and do, that she is stil able to drag our attention with exactly what is said to be disposable on a woman of 50: the image.

"Heartbeat" is for me the best track from HC. Pharrell showed it ready for Madonna, containing the vocals of one of the Pussycat Dolls's strippers ; Madonna loved, but she reworked on the lyrics that was like every other Pop/R&B song about love and sex, turning it into an ode to dance and music. In the beginning, Madonna wanted to be a dancer and with this track she explains why. "Heartbeat" is the best description of how music and dancing are capable of turning any mortal into gods, like Madonna herself.

I like to think this as a sequel to Michael Jackson's song Off The Wall, that has the same premise. What makes Heartbeat a better sequel is that it is simple and straightforward; somehow, this serves as a hymn to the nightlife and dancefloor lovers.


Madonna's top 5:
This year I also fulfilled my dream of seeing Madonna live. She finished S&S with five shows in Brasil; I was in both of her Rio de Janeiro dates. They were the most incredible experiences I had in life till now; much more important than getting into college or having sex. That because I saw in front of me and felt with all my body the reason I have Madonna as a main reference in life. Therefore, all of the Sticky & Sweet's setlist could easily be on the list.



Honorable Mentions:

- "Echo" by Cyndi Lauper: it's my week's addiction and the song with potention of turning me into a Lauper admirer.

- "Off The Wall" by Michael Jackson: this year I became a Jacko's music lover. I always accepted him as King of Pop, comprehending his phenomena and acknowledging his importance to Pop Culture. But this year I stopped, sat my ass down, listend to his music and got up to dance. "Off The Wall", the album, is my favorite of his as a solo artist - I even think it's better than his greatest trademark, Thriller; the song remits me to a déjà vu that I love having when I hear a song: the one you simply feel and the more you try you can't find where it came from.

- "Déjà Vu" by Beyoncé: DI-VA!! Beyoncé is the true 21'st century Diva; a person that is born to a fan embedded to her hair couldn't be anything less! "Déjà Vu" Bey's song I mostly like to play - it's shrill, paranoid and terribly romantic. However what mostly attracts me to Beyoncé is her appeal: no matter how wrong her artistic choices seem, you can't help find yourself loving it; and it's not only on the superficial, her works' references and aesthetic quality have become each time more intereting. May come Sasha Fierce!!

[Late] NoobTimes: Stalker Song - Religion

[This post was supposed to be up on the 24th of June.]

I'm agnostic. My relationship with g-d is very particular and isn't attached to any religion or cult; I study Jewish Kabbalah, but I'm not a Jew; I believe in Jesus Christ as an example, but not as a deity. Therefore I feel free, without any dogmatic string.

I usually joke that if I had a religion it'd be polytheistic and its deities besides being anthropornomorphized, they'd be very human characters - like in Greek mythology. My Olympus woud be pop culture, inhabited by its iconic and almost "devilish" artists [according to the Christian belief].

Who'd be Zeus? Only one name has the weight and strength worthy of being the mount's boss: Madonna. During my wild weekend it was her who maddenned the senses with her [old] music videos, times lysergicora times imsply beautiful.

Below five tracks that silenced the folks and put them in an uncontrollable trance, in order to catch each of their nuances.

6. Fever

Call it campy, kitsch or what-fucking-ever, this 90's rarity has the incredible power to play with you senses in a way you don't expect. With [very] strong colours and beats that contrast with the diva's almost-sweet vocals, it's practically impossible not to feel the fever the track incites.

5. Frozen

In spite of the name, Frozen doesn't freeze you at all. Madonna, queen of metamorphosis, shows up as never seen before: pale and dark, like a deity disfavored with the blonde sympathy, but no less hypnotic, as she throws a turning-table message.
Filled with symbology and references, this magnanimous track's video, already classic in pop culture, leaves you dumbstrucked with its effects more psychological than the usual.

4. Human Nature

After society trying to shut her up during her most seuxal/romantic era [Erotica], Madonna spit this somewhat bitter reply. The video probably has the most wonderful choreography and synchronicity registered in pop music.

3. Ray Of Light

I always knew this song's effusive skills, but the song/video combo is AWESOME! Its very hard not to franticaly shake with the paraphernalia of sounds and images from this masterpiece.

2. Bedtime Story

After this 1995 video Madonna didn't have to do anything else; and still she did. But this work of art, directed by Mark Romanek, is an example of an excelent edition allied to inventive and profound minds. Treating unconsciousness as something more active than what we suspect, Madonna gifts us with a sequel of oh-so psychedelic and lysergic images that reinvent the very meaning of the word "dream".

1. Nothing Really Matters

I think that me and my friends repeated this video 5 times at least, to see if we could capture all the frames, references and expression this woman did in this video. Try to catch every face she does and you'll see she's not a bad actress when properly provoked and inspired.

This Is Why...¹

Revisiting the past I came to re-watch this perfection! ¹This is why I love Madonna till death - no one can put up a show like her:

To an overview perspective:

Catfight!!

"ui madonne vose ta acabade! relasha vamos migrate" "uhg... fuck off mocreiah! you don't have my name!"

Funny but this feud as old as fuck. At the same time of Confessions On A Dance Floor's release Mariah released the album that brought her back to the critics and general public's arms [the fans don't count], The Emancipation Of Mimi. In 2008 Mariah tries to maintain her position as America's queen with E=MC², while Madge [aparently] tries with Hard Candy what Mimi did for Mariah 3 years ago. Before the launch of both albums the media was already declaring the war; even if none of them officially endorses it [surely the two of them feel they're too old and settled for such crap].
On a usual past I'd simply say "fuck it... of course Madonna's the best," but today things are different, considering that my fanaticism for Mrs. Ciccone-Ritchie and dislike for Carey shrinked. Days before of finally listening to HC I was already addicted to the nonsense formula of Mariah; and though I don't give much damn to these media stupidities about these two, I myself had already installed an inner quarrel about who would do the best Urban-driven album of the season.

Why Mocreiah*?
Mariah Carey's greatest achievement this year was breaking the ice I put between me and her. Obviously I condemned Touch My Body without even trying; but then I simply fell in love with the camp that Mariah perfectly brings. The best thing is that she acts as if it's not! But this lack of self-consciousness is one of the strongest and tastiest American Black Music's features. Are there tackier things than bling-blings, hockey clothes with sideways caps and slutty pants with stilletoes? But, dude, it's they're way! and the fact that they cheerfully embrace it is a lot laudable.
Mariah Carey is one of the personifications of all of this. Rolling Stone says that she embraces her extremes like no other: "She's either grinding out R&B-hop or singing syrupy ballads, talking dirty or cuddling with a Hello Kitty. Her tenth studio album is no different: It starts in a club and ends in a church."
Deeply I admire people like this. Who cares if she's as deep as a bowl? The cool thing is that she's fun.

Why Mandonna*?
Simply because even when I decide to hate her I don't succeed. Hard Candy is the best example that first impressions are not always the best. Any Madge-maniac with [pseudo] intelligence and critic sense quickly opens the mouth to yell that this album is a lot inferior to any of her others'. But it takes attentive hearings to not only the lyrics, but especially the arrangements to realize that the prepotency is more yours than Madonna's.
What I mean is: Hard Candy's lyrics are great! They're all introspective and mostly very well crafted, but above all things they're unpretentious. Reading other reviews I noticed that the only politicized lyrics are 4 Minutes's, and still in a subtle way. The fact Madonna is not trying to save people's souls from hell with her music is actually good. We fans surely love when she tells us to fuck off and then say "put away your past/love will never last/if you're holding on to a dream that's gone"; but not everybody, actually most of people, give a shit about that.
In Candy it's like she presented herself to please; but Madonna style. She knows we'll suck everything she stuff into our mouths anyway - not for ignorance, but because her sugar is always sweet! So, I take back what I wrote on my initial review, that Hard Candy's biggest flaw is to have less Madonna than usual. Probably that's the album's best quality, because like all the Yoga crap she usually does on her dance routines, she shows how flexible she is. Although Timbol, Justin and Pharrell's ghosts are very strong in Hard Candy, they're all there because and for Madonna.


Candy X Physics
Which would you choose? I know which I'd choose without blinking. However in this candy and this Physics class' cases, choosing isn't so easy.
E=MC² is a typical specimen of its genre, while Hard Candy is more like a fusion of the Urban Pop's beats and the Dance Music's wackoness. Try to thoroughly listen to the Material Girl's new album and you'll notice a million details almost psychedelic. That's why I pick the obvious option: Candy. Like she said, it is a hard candy but one day you'll end up swallowing and adoring it.

Conclusion
In the end, both albums are accurate proofs that without prejudice you can go far. Mariah's has the quality of opening doors to the R&B, for the unpretension before its importance or lack of it. Nor the Emancipation or this Einstein parody will be remembered for more than its commercial status due to their wisdom of giving what is wanted [Mariah has been way better in it than Madonna lately, fact!], but is there quality behind Billboard? Hell yeh! And Mariah is there.
As for Madonna, maybe the best of Hard Candy is that it's not a bombastic reinvention. "Confessions" had world-wide spreading of the Euro-pop, but by choosing to share her spotlight with many others, maybe that's the greatest [self] reinvention, after all, sharing her momentum with strangers isn't what Madonna often does. She does that in Candy, so fairly that at day's end it's HER you can't stop thinking about.

*Mocreiah, Mandonna: those are puns with Mariah's and Madge's names in Portuguese. Mocréia [Mocreiah] means "a really fugly woman" and mandona [Mandonna] means "a really bossy lady." Yes, Portuguese is very fun sometimes.

Fucking Shit 2

Forget the fucking problems!!
This time is true!!
This time is REALLY true!
She's coming until December!!
OMFG!!
*dies*

Casual Candy

Still on the flow of her previous album, I'll spill some confessions about Madonna's new album. Confession #1: I was prone to hate Hard Candy since the start. Yes, that's awful – but as Hip Hop isn't my cup of tea, I decided in advance that bitch it was my job. Confession #2: but in the end, I didn't see why.

I'm a Madge fan for some years now, but I'm not fated to love everything she does. Hard Candy, for instance, has a flaw that should never be on a Madonna work: the lack of Madonna. The Pop Music G-d has always worked with underground producers; obviously she never [re]invented wheels with each project, but the fact that she was releasing that producer would unconciously give a Madonna soul to the whole thing.

For “Candy” she chose The Neptunes, Timbaland and colaborations by Justin Timberlake and Kanye West. All these guys are ultra-mega hyped and have egos as big as hers. So, when you listen to “Candy” you see more Timbal and Pharrell working, than Madonna. Sometimes, it sounds like she's throwing the Rihanna/Beyoncé/Fergie, when SHE is the inventor of those Pop-whores.

However, when you stop to think about these pseudo-intelecutal stuffs, the album is filled with "masterpieces of the beats". “Candy Shop” is a delicious opening, with a Missy Elliott-worthy sass. And while some songs like Give It 2 Me and Dance 2night are those which will boil the dancefloors around the world, there are pearls like Heartbeat and Miles Away, that are sung with a verve that wasn't expected from the almost-50 lady in such a "colde" moment of her career.

My favorite aspect of the songs are the twists. On most of them are moments that everything changes, and you have a new song into the same track. The best one in that matter is, deffinitely, Incredible. The song sheds opinions, but it's the one which best defines the album. Just like "Incredible", Hard Candy has breathtaking moments - like a wild sex night (“sex with you is incredible!”), but with someone that after the orgasm gets up and leaves... not with someone you longtime know. But, as she says on the best track of the album, Beat Goes On: “I'm not telling you something new/There ain't no time to lose/It's time for you to celebrate."

[Song: Incredible - Madonna]

Because She's An Icon, No Matter What!

Click on the photo to see portfolio.

The Expected

Well, Madonna and Justin's 4 Minutes started to grow in me.

My previous opinions about its quality remain: it's a down-there mediocre track compared to massive and marvelous beats like Hung Up's or let's say it American Life's! However the effing song, like previously leaked The Beat Goes On, has the utmost Madonna quality of being catchy; sum up to that the fact I'm now craving to hit a dancefloor!!

All the indie pop/rock stuff I've been into lately like Radiohead or Arcade Fire, are damn cool and genius, they could make good on the dancefloor if I lived in a place where people were more ecletic and not so closeminded into the electronica scene. Raves are okay but only them... boring. So, while I move myself towards the "if the DJ doesn't play your music, go 'head and be one" axiom, I crave for more dancefloor and shake-ass oriented tracks - and 4 Minutes provide that.

I'm starting to let go of the critical point of view and just going with the beats - after all, Promiscuous was damn awesome song!

[Song: 4 Minutes - Madonna]

Hard Candy

"What's Your Perversion?" Personal Ads:

"Craves attention, messy, open, rash, irritable, likes large parties, low self control, weird, fragile, does not like to be alone, emotionally sensitive, worrying, depressed, heart over mind, does not respect authority, dependent, not rule conscious, not good at saving money, more interested in relationships than intellectual pursuits, likes to fit in, very social, frequently second guesses self, phobic, suspicious, not careful, outgoing, vain, compassionate, aggressive, likes to make fun, hates to lose."

[Description stolen on Facebook.]

[Pic: Hard Candy's cover.]

[Song: Lucky Star - Madonna]

"4 Minutes" by Madonna

Oh boy!

Okay... it's a maaaaaaaaaassive hit!! I can already see Conquista's pretty girls without style and substance loving it all over the floors and becoming Madonna fans. I can already see myself dancing and singing along to it. But boy, that it's a mediocre track it is!!! The beats are absolutely stolen from Nelly Furtado's Promiscuous, making me start to doubt Timbaland's versatility.

Even the lame The Beat Goes On's demo is better than this; and as I heard this 4 Minutes one, I hoped that they didn't change it as much as they're claiming.

[Song: How To Be Invisible - Kate Bush]

Ha!

Alright, this really made me laugh.
Poor thing.
[Song: I'm So Stupid - Madonna]

"I'm Listening..."

Pop culture is something so broad that anything could be part of it. What is basically known is that any movement that finds comfort in the arms of the public can be considered culture, even if we don't like it, even if it's not exactly decent quality.

In recent Pop culture Kylie Minogue [alongside the other main diva you know whom] feels like the Tarantino of Pop music: she mixes and deconstructs genres as if she's simply changing clothes. Her new video, In My Arms, is a great example of it. With colors that make it feel like a staging of famous Andy Warhol's Marilyn Monroe's portrait, Kylie mixed her 1990's persona [check out the hair from the Confide In Me vide] to a transitory look. With hyperbolic costumes and breathtakingly aesthetic scenarios she released a simple but deeply artistic video.

You might say that it lacks a plot, but who needs a plot with that party of references, that go from the mentioned Warhol to Madonna? In addition, in this current work Minogue homages the 80's - when the music videos lacked plots and feasted on aesthetics.

The Last Day Of The Year

So, yesterday I posted that and went to live the day I had great power over my own destiny: the last day of the year, the first day of Rosh Hashanah. I took a nice and quick shower so I'd go to the bank for my dad. When i got my bag to leave I realized my wallet wasn't there; and after searching around the house, the car and calling everyone I had been with the day before if they had seen it, I realized I had lost it.

So I left to the bank really upset and on the verge of a stress attack. At the bank I was supposed to get a number to be assisted, but there were no more number. That could be THE drop for me to have a drama-queen redux on the last day of the year. Instead I took notice that there were only three people before me in the line and decided to patiently wait to talk to the woman. After I left there I lit a ciggie and went to meet Purki at Drops, this cool store where all theCCs buy their clothes because it's the only place that sells alternative fashion in town. There I improved my mood by helping to create a bottons' expo, eating like Gilbert Grape's mother and smoking.

But the actual meaningful part of this hangout was that at the snack bar table I mentioned the RH to my friends, and they all started doing lists for the next year. Later at night we all ended up at a cool cozy bar, where we could smoke freely; as soon as we got there we asked the head waiter to put the Confessions Tour DVD on... and as we Madged and drank wildly the ones that hadn't done their lists then did.

The fact that we were all drinking and having a good time might mean that our new year might be fun and pleasant as well. That's a possibility. In the end it was a cute night that ended like this:

[Song: Ainda Bem - Vanessa Da Mata]

Addictive Shit

On the mini-review I wrote about Madonna's new song that never got posted by motherfucker-Blogger, I wrote that it has the catchy quality that most of Madge songs happens to have. Therefore I hereby confess that I'm majorly addicted to it. Truth be told, even if it sounds like a Nelly Furtado imitation, I love Furtado and Madonna has always been the most competent of Pop artists in imitation, so it's actually no surprise that this song would get to me at some point. The beats are contagious and gorgeous and those b-section and chorus are so dang catchy that it's almost impossible not to feel seduced by them. The "let's do something different" intro is still laughable, but I can't say that in this time of my life and fanship I care about Madonna's [real or jocose] prepotency.

I've been reading and there's this new Apple project called The Beat Goes On, due to be officially launched today, and it's very quirky considering that Madonna and Apple are like sweethearts ever since the Confessions On A Dance Floor release, when she signed to have all of her songs available for iTunes. Of course this is all fandom speculation and actually a bit of freakiness I will not waste time on.

But TBGO-fever got me so good I'm even satisfied if it's released as first single and am a bit more excited about her new old beats.

[Song: The Beat Goes On - Madonna (upped on the bitchy playlist on the left)]

Bitchy Talk

When I set the ho to be the third interview I wished to do a happy birthday post to me by having him on my month. But then he disappeared due to [he says] school [but I’m sure he got drunk and neglected me] and I got sick and depressed… water under the bridge. Hence the Bitchy Talk had this hiatus filled with a feeling that the ho had to be my third guest, even if my birthday month is now – as he said - ages ago.

José Roberto Solís Mayén is one of the most fascinating human beings that I’ve ever had the luck to meet. It’s true that we never actually met, but I never felt that was entirely paramount for me to know that in him lies one of my role models. For that matter, when it dawned on me that I no longer had excuses for procrastinating his interview, I dried up. He knows everything about me and I know everything he tells me, and sometimes others I just catch on the gazillion kilometers of space between us; because of that I didn’t know exactly what to ask without sounding rambling. Until I asked Marce for some tips of what I could ask him, I realized this was not an interview for ME, but for whoever happened to read it. In my biased-but-honest opinion, the more people know about him the better the world will be.

We started calling ourselves “ho” after the genius Gwen Stefani line “take a chance you stupid ho”. “What You Waiting For” is a song that deals with inner strength and the struggle to connect with it; but it doesn’t deal with it in the corny Mariah Carey way, but with a feature that is very strong in us: self-deprecation. The ability of laughing at ourselves at the most adverse circumstances is something that should be experienced by everyone; when I realized [by having him calling me “ho”] he had the self-depreciation attached to a charming and adorable wit I knew he was to be the best of my friends.

In here you’ll find not nostalgic blablabla about the way we were [yes, we’re that old], but only a portion of how genius the ho, aka Jose, is. Enjoy.

[kks = ]
[Ms Walters = Lucas]

)( Lucas Potter Jones )( One Day It'll Happen: tell us what you are listening to.

a better version of myself [ho]: I'm listening to Love Profusion by G-d. Actually my Ipod's on Madonna shuffle.

LPJ: tell us about your relationship with LP.

ho: well, you know I never listen to full albums right?
LPJ: yup, you’re a sinner.

ho: and American Life was no exception; but I remember clearly during Easter 04, I took my CD to a the beach and fell asleep listening to it and I woke up to LP and I fell in love with it; it became my second fave song in the album, then I saw the video and had multiple orgasms. It was also my top song of that year.

LPJ: I remember that. And what's not hot about Madonna in flowery dress and beautiful CGI landscapes?

ho: the fact that it's the same as the Estée Lauder perfume ad. That was both one of her laziest, yet still breathtaking moments.

LPJ: lol, you tore my dreams on LP's video.

ho: robots don't dream.

LPJ: I must say I’m nervous myself.

ho: how come? Am I allowed to ask stuff? Lol

LPJ: yes you are… because I’m afraid this will become a trip to our memory lane [even if I never remember the way to mine]. At some point we'll be remembered our early days like old hags.

ho: uh oh. So you'll realize we're older than we look, and dumber than we seem.

LPJ: but I'll try to be professional.

ho: ok do so Barb.

LPJ: ’cept for the fact I’ll do you by the end of interview.

ho: u.u I don’t sleep with my interviewer. After Larry King gave me crabs I promised myself I’d never do that again.

LPJ: there's beladonna in the drink I gave you...

ho: stop the kking Ms Walters.

LPJ: … anyways. Was Madonna somehow a turning point in your life?

ho: actually I don't remember a life before her. And that's not as pathetic as it sounds. What I mean is, I grew up in a house where my mom's trademark album was the immaculate collection. when I have flashbacks of that era, the soundtrack is usually Material Girl or Papa Don't Preach. So in a way, I never found Madonna, she found me.

LPJ: But is there a moment in your life that she and her art were like paramount in some decision or such?

ho: well, you know I'm a very art driven person, but to this day I've yet to find something that has such an effect on me to turn my world around.

LPJ: everyone's aware of your other, I should probably say main passion: cinema.

ho: *nods*

LPJ: do you think Madonna and cinema will ever work?

ho: I think for me they have, just maybe not in the way people expect it. When I saw Evita for the first time I was dazzled, but for example the other day a friend was trashing Madge while we listened to Mazzy Star and I revealed to him that if it hadn’t been for Swept Away I’d probably have no idea who Mazzy Star were. She may not be such a good actress, but the way she's able to pull the strings behind the camera and infuse everything with all her knowledge still has an impact in the way people should see her films. And she's also a top showwoman. I’d take a hundred confession tours in a row before having to see another Hilary-Swank-as-a-man movie.

LPJ: hello, me too! Let’s form a club.

ho: we have one. The putinhas something club.

LPJ: which movie, when you think of the first movie you ever saw, comes instantly to your mind?

ho: hmmm, tough one. I have a very vivid memory of going to the theater with my grandma and great-uncle to watch Disney's Treasure Island, but I saw Bambi a gazillion times at home; and I’ve asked my dad and he tells me the first movie he took me to see was a Spanish cartoon and that I wouldn’t stop singing the songs for months after it.

LPJ: lol, which happens to be?

ho: I can never remember the name.

LPJ: your blog's name is one of my favorite things in life. *blushes*

ho: awww I never knew that before.

LPJ: resume in few words the power of pop culture in your life.

ho: well, it's like a drug to me. I can't imagine life without pop culture, yet sometimes I feel there are greater things in life that should interest me most, then again, as I like to say, everything's connected: pop culture has led me to paths that have changed who I am and what I think.

LPJ: same here. Especially because pop culture unashamedly [thank G-d] sucks from every other culture.

ho: yeah I know! But some people are too blind to realize that.

LPJ: was there ever a time that irked u? People being blind for things u like?

ho: not really, you know I have this weird thing: I want people to realize that the things I like are good, but when everyone likes what I like, it's like a turn off, I enjoy having things that I feel are entirely mine. Say Moulin Rouge! for example, I adore it to death, but when I listen to certain people saying it's their fave movie and knowing the kinds of things these people like and their complete ignorance of everything the film draws from, makes me feel like it's unworthy of my snob love towards it. lol

LPJ: lol we're ego sluts. Talking bout Moulin Rouge!,tell us the feelings you had during your very first screening.

ho: I went to the Honduran premiere.

LPJ: oh gawd there was no such thing in crappy Brasil.

ho: and I knew the songs by heart, cause I had the soundtrack months before, and to me in a way it was like the images had to live up to the sounds I’d heard. And boy did they do! To date, my first screening of Moulin Rouge! was the most electrifying experience I’ve had in a theater!

LPJ: did you cry at any moment?

ho: you know I never cry, but my eyes were watery from the moment it began, at first from excitement and then with utter sadness. But mostly I had a silly smile all through it.

LPJ: what about the corny-but-surprisingly-beautiful heart-shaped fireworks in I Will Always Love You in the Elephant Love Medley? How did you feel about it?

ho: I’m still waiting for them to appear whenever I kiss someone I’m madly in love with. hehehe

LPJ: that’s the cutest answer I always had to that question.

ho: *blushes*

LPJ: those fireworks were the moment I started to cry and you know I’m a whimper. Hosie, name three people that you think have influenced you deeply throughout your life.

ho: in what way?

LPJ: in any way.

ho: I’ll go with my dad, his mom and Madge.

LPJ: tell us about all of them dumbass.

ho: ok, you see my dad is the smartest guy I know. From an early age he taught me about books, films, music (I owe my love of Bossa to him). But I think his major influence on me has been his selfless ability to let me make my own choices; when I fuck up, he’s there to back me up though. My grandma taught me about the finer things in life. She introduced me to Fellini, caviar and champagne. And Madge, well she's like oxygen to me; she opened my eyes to Kabbalah and political consciousness in a way. I kinda feel guilty now for not saying my mom lol. But well, my mom's implicit with Madge I guess.

LPJ: lol, we and our mom troubles. Let’s leave them outta here; you can cry, I cannot.

ho: we both know you will, I won’t. lol

LPJ: … shut up!

ho: u.u

LPJ: what do you most hate about people?

ho: ignorance, and I don’t mean poor people who don’t go to school, but people who have the chance and still have such narrow visions as not to want and explore everything the world offers to them. I hate people that never try new things, I also hate people who talk in the movies. lol

LPJ: yaaaaaaaay, you’re me!

ho: I am. lol

LPJ: I also hate people who eat popcorn in theatres, they’re always too loud.

ho: then you hate me. I’m obsessed with candy corn. lol

LPJ: ew. That’s why you’re fat. u.u

ho: but just on blockbusters and chick flicks. I’m not fat. u.u

LPJ: I know you’re anorexic like me now. What do u most love about people?

ho: I love their ability to surprise me on any level. If it’s my family, I love when I learn old stories that are new to me. With my friends I love their ability to give me hope when everything looks so bad. And with artists I love their way of pushing boundaries and showing me more can be done and more should be done. I also love when people smile at me, a stranger's smile injects me with fuzzy energy every time.

LPJ: lol you slut.

ho: lol I don’t mean it in a sexual way, since I’m counting girls as well.

LPJ: slut anyway.

ho: I know but shhh…

LPJ: before we started we hurried to get a Kylie wallpaper. What’s the importance of Miss Minogue in your life?

ho: simply put, nobody puts a smile on my face like Kylie.

LPJ: I’m aware you have OCD. Is there some kind of secret in your life?

ho: my OCD is mostly gone.

LPJ: ohh tell me about it.

ho: I still have my little quirks, like cleaning my house like a madman.

LPJ: Bree.

ho: but what kind of secret do you mean?

LPJ: like something in your life u never reveal to anyone.

ho: if you're expecting a The Crying Game twist, I’m sorry to disappoint you, not really. I haven’t killed anyone, I haven’t fathered children in foreign countries and I wasn’t involved in Watergate. So I guess no secrets here. That doesn’t mean everyone knows me though, I’m a very private person.

LPJ: ahh-ha! I just found out your as old as the Watergate.

ho: reincarnation sweetheart.

LPJ: where do you think you want to live your whole life?

ho: I don’t really care about the place, as long as I’m with somebody I love (if it happens in NYC or Florence even better hehehe), but u know I thought life here would be hell for example, and now when I’m not here I miss the people and the places.

LPJ: it’s more about how we feel about ourselves than what the place has to offer. Do you agree?

ho: totally. Like I say, if I’m with good company I can enjoy hell.

LPJ: is there anything you think you could never learn?

ho: the forgetting part in forgive and forget. Also to ride a bike or a skateboard, I’m waaaaay too old to learn that now.

LPJ: I’ll teach you.

ho: u.u like Phoebe.

LPJ: well hosie, I’m afraid were close to a wrap.

ho: u.u I never cried.

LPJ: well I deeply never expected you to… But before it, choose an image that you think that describes you like no other.

ho: tough one [what happened during the ho's deliberative break]
Remember that part where Holly Golightly is looking into Tiffany's?

LPJ: I do

ho: that's me, I'm Holly Golightly looking into what I consider heaven, without getting the chance to ever make it mine. You see, like Holly all of my life I’ve dreamt of an absolutely perfect place where I’m going to be happy. But this place is so flawless in my dreams, that probably I’m scared of finding it and being disappointed; so like holly, I move in life avoiding emotional attachments because they make me vulnerable. But deep inside I’m dying to have someone kiss me under the rain, tell me everything will be ok and finally giving the cat a name.

LPJ: I don’t have to say that that’s beautifully heartbreaking.

ho: u.u don’t cry Barb!

More on the ho.
More Bitchy Talk.

Here We Go Again

The time of the year when we start to freak around the web looking up for the next 30s clip to download, hoping it to be different from the previous one, probably has come!! Thanks to Brit hottie Parsons I downloaded 20s from what's supposed to be Madonna's new song.

As you all know she's to go urban on her next project and has spent hours locked in the studio with Pharrelleww Williams and Timbaland and his/her current favorite protégé Justin [Hot] Timberlake. But be astounded everybody, the song is rumored to be titled Candy Shop [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]... yes, I know... yes, I also thought of the devil.

The very low-quality clip plays what's to be an electronic hip-hop song, written by the G-d, Pharreww and Justin. I confess the beats sound cool and even if, ever since music traffic on the web became a fact, we've heard loads of seemingly-Madge-but-not-Madge tracks, this one sounds like her voice indeed. People from the MadonnaFanzine forum said it's a legitimate Madonna, even if it's a beta-track: a track-in-test, that could never see the day of light.

Rumors have it that Stuart Price was the newest producer to be lined up to produce Kylie's forthcoming album. In my uneasy mind I'm already imagining that Madge decided to let Price go in order to get cozier with Williams and Mosley, so he decided to work with Kylie - something similar to what happened back in 1994 with the whole Shep Pettibone/Bedtime Stories/Dallas Austin affair; but for heaven's sake I'm building suppositions on gossips so nevermind my non-sense!!

Thing is, I've procrastinated like hell here and if you got to this point before clicking on the Parsons's link above [I know you didn't ho], you can download such clip HERE and see the supposed lyrics HERE [scroll down]. Oh by the way, remember when everyone bitched about Hung Up's lyrics? Well, let's say that if this song is released I'm glad I don't visit Madonna forums anymore and certainly don't care that much about lyrics if they come attached with gorgeous beats.

[Song: Like Someone In Love - Björk]

Le Marce Interview

It took a while for my friend Marce, from The Dark Girl's Rhyme, send me the questions but I'm gladly and quickly answering them now.

1. Explain what talent or ability you don’t possess you would like to have.

Singing. I sing all the time; my dad sings okay, my late godmother sang beautifully and I have a dearly cousin, Clarissa, who sings like an angel [except that she's no angel at all]. I've always had a musical upbringing; more than anything else in life we had music in home, constantly. So I've always sung along; if you see me walking by or driving in a silent mode, it might not be me. But there's a problem, I have no vocal technique; sometimes I hear myself and know I don't have a horrible voice, others I just feel glad I'm home alone and nobody's hearing me... okay maybe the neighbors hate me. But I'm sure to do some vocal lessons in the future... I only hope the coach doesn't look at me and feel an unbearable urge to rip his/her ears off.

2. What event in your life, if any, has changed radically your way of thinking?

Among many, probably the most recent and vivid one: the post-teen crisis. Last year when I turned 19, my shrink told me about this mini-crisis that goes over most adolescents' heads; it's basically the fear of growing up, when you get to the age when you are a legal adult [you can buy lawful drugs like alcohol and cigarettes, and be arrested] but in your mind and actions you're still a teen. This is pretty shitty to most people because as you know, we're lazy as fuck and have egos lazy as fuck, so when there's a time of changing we somehow refuse to do so, that's why there's a lot of 18/20-years-old who act like twelves.

When I got to this I was already aware of it so I could recognize some things, like this little fear I have with responsability. The acknowledge of these aspects created my "about me" on the blogger profile [that one at the right-side bar]; in other ways, this crisis [that is still on] helps to look back and see I'm young and still have time to accomplish things, at the same time I look forward and know that even so I haven't got much time to waste.

3. What work of art has had a deep impact in your life? It can be a film, song, painting, book, sculpture, anything.

Since I'm a list whore I'll do a small one to answer this.

- Moulin Rouge turned me into a musicals lover, which had pretty much impact in my life, considering I'm always playing musicals in my head, like Selma: "There is always someone to catch me/When I'd fall."

- The book Sophie's World changed my life; it helped me seeing that this life could be just a tale from someone else's imagination, that could end at anytime and for that I must be present and living all the time. Sounds corny, but it had a damn effect on me... and the book is not a pinch corny.

- Well, I did a while ago a top 5 with the songs that changed my life; if interested just read the Unthinkable Surprises Top 5.
4. Explain the most irrational fear you have.

Spiders. I have no idea when it started; probably one day I just woke up and my brain decided I hated them. Nah, actually I recall that one of my most meaningful childhood traumas was watching the movie Arachnophobia, ever since I don't wear a pair of pants or shoes without shaking them off crazily to see if they're free of these eight-legged monsters. I'm scared of them all, even the tiny useless ones that hasn't enough poison to make a wound, still sting and I know it hurts, even if I never were stung by any.

5. If you were a musician, what kind of band would you have and what kind of music would you play? Name that band.

It'd be a poser band à lá Cansei de Ser Sexy. The performances would be in a rockish-poser form and I'd be the lead singer of course; the job would be performed in the best Madonna style and the repertoire would include, besides our own compositions, pop classics from Madonna [duh], Kylie, Björk and everyone else we liked. The band would be called The Drunkards or The Cigarette Club.