The Night Out

If you read the post bellow you must imagine what hell of a hangover I have right now. Regret, regret, regret!! I wish I could say I have but actually I dont. Okay, next time I will be far away from tequila when I'm having sake, and vice-versa.

But last night was huge! My dad and I went to this cute sushi/tequila bar. The right side was japanese style and the left mexican, which made the whole Eastern/Western junction very cute. I was dying to have some sushi, which I didn't have in ages, and of course tequila!!

A shot of tequila later and I was already tipsy, dad and I were having the Rita conversation. His "girlfriend" [they haven't defined their relationship yet] is leaving next year to Rio and is staying there for at least four years in order to get her doctorate. He was telling me how he's been trying to let things be and not to become too emotionally attached to her and to the proximity. We drank and ate and talked and when I started to hit on the waiters I knew I was drunk good. Actually, last night I was very flirtatious! I had just finished a part of my Sex And The City marathon and when my dad came to take me out I was feeling radiant and dying to have some drinks.

As he talked and I sushi-ed it was almost impossible not to notice how many hot hunks there were last night; I chose a table filled with hot motherfuckers and their girlfriends and spent the night stalking them. But in a moment as I watched the Heaven Table and listened to my father I felt like telling him about my sexuality.

I've been there before other times and never came out. No matter how strong and aware of myself I may seem there are certain things I simply chicken out unless I have alcohol in the veins. I had tequila but thinking it wouldn't be enough I ordered sake!! Yeah, sake right after my second shot of tequila! It was my first sake and I really liked the fact it didn't have any specific taste; it's something close to beer [in my drunk mind back then] but better. I was glad because I've been trying different drinks and getting disappointed all over and sake was simply cute. So I ended up having three.

When three gorgeous ladies passed to go to their room my father said: "I really don't understand how you can say this town doesn't have beautiful women."

That was it, it was my cliff! So I replied: "maybe because women are not my thing right now." This is very cliche but thirty seconds of silence that felt like proceeded. "What do you mean?", asked him. I thought I wouldn't when I had finally said it but I was scared of his reaction; not that he'd get up and kick my face but well... I don't know; just a post-revelation little fear, I think. In thirty seconds I made up all the craziest situations and exits to that conversation; but I had started it, I had to finish it and truth be told I hadn't even told him explicitly.

So, feeling that I still needed aproval and also feeling stupid due to it, I said "I believe nothing in life is forever, but if you ask me now what would I want to get away with..." so I pointed at my Heaven Table "see that guy by the window with long hair? I'd prefer him than those girls that just passed us by."

Pronto, it was done. I said it and this time no silence came after. Actually we soon were engaged in a Lassiter-esque conversation about gay rights and their space in nowadays society. There were no embarrassing "since when/with who/who knows" questions and I was glad that the only really personal question he asked was if I wanted to have kids. Of course I do, I don't know how will that happen if adoption or surrogating, but that wasn't and isn't the moment for me to decide that.

The night ended with no much further chat [that I can remember] about it and now life continues as always. I don't feel different and not preoccupied of how things will be after; there's no burden-free kind of feeling, life simply goes on...

Actually there's an unbearable burden over my head right now!! Regret, regret, regret!!!

[Song: Hung Up - Madonna (ho and mine hangover song)]