Queer

Yesterday after I left the beauty parlor for a hair straightening session I stopped at a traffic light and a little girl approached the car window to sell a candy [very common thing in this country and soon-to-become in this town]. When she looked at me she starred kind of startled and asked "you man or woman?"

In other circumstances I'd play the bitch and turn my face away. But instead of [evil] infantile sass, in her eyes laid a sweetness and a honesty that left me speechless, remaining only a smile as remark.

I then realized this current androgyny of mine kind of pleases me. Firstly If it didn't I'd have thrown it away long time ago. Then I think that somehow it suits well my personality, since my thoughts are rarely sterotyped with society[ies] tendencies and free to change and take new forms. Your hair is the first physical sign of your way of thinking; when people see my long hair and its irregular haircut, the initial shock gives place to the thought of weirdness; which honestly is what I seek adopting such looks. Dressing and wearing your hair differently from the rest of people don't make you any different if you don't think and behave differently: every external change must come from internal ones to have depth.

So now, I sort of resent not having bought that girl's candy, because she kind of switched on such reflection in me. But thankfully life's crazy, maybe I'll end up meeting her another time.

[Song: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy - Sarah McLachlan]