This week on Kabbalah we're supposed to make a stand and choose between being good or bad. For Kabbalah (and also for me), worst than being bad is being none one nor another. To be in the middle of both means you contribute in nothing to life's wheel. Surely we must all be good and work our way towards the Light and honestly that's the path I decided to choose.
It's funny when I look back at my adolescence, I realize I was just like Lindsay Lohan's character in Mean Girls, Cady Heron. I was able to do all these horrible things as saying bad things about someone at their back and sabbotaging people, and acting like an angel. In other words, I would never dare to take the blame for my own actions in will to keep a good image to others. I was always standing in the middle, never taking chances and responsabilities.
I'm sure that now I'm not such person. Since I started studing Kabbalah, along with a year during analisys with a shrink, I've been changing my actions for a more proactive behavior. And now, during the last days of Scorpio, I'm even more commited to chalenge myself to the good. And as Cady, I'll be sucking the poison out of me.
Even though I try not to care about people saying things every time I turn my back, I still hate such thing, so I'm doing this anymore. I have to tell myself if I like that person or not and never act nicely around them, while I'm monster in their absence. To gain trust we must give a trustworth behavior and this is how I'm more accomplished to be.
Aside from the soulsearching actions, my life's ok. My PC died once more and here I am at college's computer having a girlie boy flirting with me once in a while, I'm still sick, my flu's killing me. I'm re-reading The Little Prince, my bigtime childhood book, I'm hooked on Kylie again (Better The Devil You Know is playing in my brains all day long); I'm anxious about my big Xtmas trip and the possibility to finally meet my hubby, and... I think that's all. Just for the record, Madonna rocks!!!
(Song: Mer Girl - Madonna)
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