Yesterday I was feeling like shit, so I decided to watch a movie that would probably make me cry. I chose Joe Wright's Pride & Prejudice, it's a romantic epic movie - it'd help me to release my chest, plus there was a hidden intention that'll be explained ahead.
Bottom line is that I didn't cry, I actually felt even more restless as the movie ended. One of the things I mostly love about Jane Austen stories is that no matter how romantic they seem, there's always one particular character that brings you down to reality, the one who always punches you in the guts and kicks you in the ass. In Pride & Prejudice it's Miss Charlotte Lucas [played on the movie by the scrumptious Claudie Blakley].
Always put aside by Lizzie's mother, who never watches her tongue, she's the modest thing you barely notice, but once you get out of your egocentric shell you see how grand she is. On this last screening one of her lines gave me an interesting epiphany. But first a backstory.
Saturday I hooked up with this guy I've had a crush on for almost a year. It was never a hopeless crush because he lives in another town, so I'd only feel it whenever he came to Conquista to visit the friends [me and everyone else in my party]. On the Sunday we hooked up again and, minutes after he left the rock festival he came back to pick me up so I could spend the night with him - he was leaving the city on the following morning.
Knowing my mind you're probably aware of how I'm feeling right now. So, secretly I decided to watch P&P because I was feeling in a Jane Bennet/Charles Bingley situation. I'm shy when it comes to showing my feelings and guys - I mostly suck in coming on the boys and letting them know I'm wanting them. This guy, well, he's worst than me! So, at one moment, Lizzie and Charlotte were talking at the Bingley's private ball and it hit me:
"Lizzie [about Bingley and Jane]: I think he likes her very much.Miss Lucas: But does she like him? Few of us are secure enough to be in love without proper encouragement. Bingley likes her enormously, but might not do more if she does not help him on it.Lizzie: She's just shy and modest. If he cannot perceive her regard, he is a fool.Miss Lucas: We are all fools in love..."
So Lucas [meaning me this time] what's next to do?
[Song: Mr. Donut - Saint Etienne]