The Summer Journals - Finale

The 15th and 16th Of January, 2006 – “The End”

People face death differently. When somebody close to them passes away, they tend to cry, suffer and even fall into despair before the perspective of never having the presence of that one again. They remember the moments and even lament on the things they should had done and didn’t, and the ones they shouldn’t had done and did. In some cases they believe in afterlife, but still blame G-d for the loss, choosing not to understand His will and means.

As if nothing too touching haven’t happened during these holidays, an uncle of mine died to due to a car wreck. He had three kids, my favorite cousins, and they reacted very much like I said above.

I, however, started to think about it al. Ironically, I’m reading a Kabbalah book that claims that it’s in the moments of grieve we should praise G-d’s benevolence. Absolutely nothing in this world happens by chance and when we feel the burden of pain, that’s when we should ask ourselves why we’re going through all that. G-d definitelly would not make us suffer to fulfill a sadic pleasure.

This is how I see death: when one dies, one’s time here is done and it’s the time for him to work and send his energies on and from the spiritual world. The flesh is gone and it rottens. It’s not the person. The person is his actions, his behavior and the way he treated the world. So, when I see my cousins and all these small town folks suffering over my uncle’s corpse, I feel relieved to death from that angle.

My uncle was a marvelous person and I don’t know anyone who could say that din’t like him. He wasn’t perfect and as all human beings had his faults. But most of his life was lived in a good way and that is what to be really considered.

I cannot tell or foresee how my feelings and I will behavewjem someone close to me dies. However, I know myself enough to be centered, and know that death is just a passageway, and definitely not the end.

I started these holidays being born again, after the car accident I had before Christmas, and now a relative dies. As if a cycle was completed. The Creation always renews itself and as part of it we should renew as well. There’s no point in wandering about the same spot, evolution is the way to go and that’s why we should move on with the world. Death is just the end of one cycle of life, but it’s not the end of everything.
However, when my uncle died I felt that cycle was being finished. This is the end of my holidays and I already feel the chills of getting back to the routine. I don’t often make New Year’s resolutions, this time although I will.
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I'm in São Paulo. I hope I get to do everything I'm supposed to...

[Song: Some Kind Of Bliss - Kylie "G-d" Minogue]