Snob

I can't tell exactly when it started, but I can declare myself today an outsider. But not the type everyone dishes out of the party, the one that simply doesn't attend to the party because he's sure there'll be nothing there to add to his self. But with all the acknowledgement of different personalities and "acceptance" of multi-cultural human beings, isn't this kind of behavior plain stupid? Being a self-proclaimed outsider isn't just a proof of snobbery? What if high standards is nowadyas synonym of prejudice?

All these questions exploded in my head during this evening's class. I hate going there not only because the superficiality of the teaching, but also from the people's mentality. Most of my classmates are silly teenagers who still have no idea of what they want for their lives or post teenagers, like me, who also don't know what they want for their lives, like... me!

Suddenly I realized I still don't know what I want! Oh well, not so dramatic like that. The thing is that I am not so sure if the steps I'm taking are the right ones to take me to where I want to be. All I know right now is that I want to move to Salvador and... that's all. That's all I know so far.

So now, realizing that I don't know quite yet what I want, doesn't that make me as lost and stupid like my classmates?

The only idea that crosses my head at the moment is: "don't judge motherfucker!" I admit I am a snob in several fields of life. I'm a political snob, a music snob, a film snob, a book snob; all of that of course makes my snobbish mind working over time by labeling and judging people. If the party isn't formed by people who don't at least have an idea who Jane Fonda is or who Stanley Kubrick was, I simply stay home with my computer, books and films. At least they don't make my stomach squirm.

Then, instead of separating them in the best nazi-style that my ego loves, I should start thinking them as people who simply have different ideals and tastes from mine. Because certainly my geeky, political aware and pop-culture obsessed conversation must be hellish boring for them. Not that I care about that, but I certainly shouldn't care about pointing them my finger...

[Song: My Love - Justin Timberlake featuring T.I.]