Que Será Será...

It's funny when you find yourself making plans that a while ago you'd think disgusting to do. When I left Marilia [in São Paulo] to come back to Bahia, my main goal was to live in Salvador; the interlude period in Conquista was dull and lonesome.

Then I moved to Salvador and have been living there for five months and all I want to do is moving back to Conquista. My dad told me a couple days ago something that I ignored a lot when I was obsessed with Salvador: "when you have things and can't enjoy them is a lot worst that when you have nothing at all."

Salvador has theatres, the great movies are always played there [and never dubbed!], I have more options of bars and parties etc. In the other hand I don't have friends, everything's too far and mainly no money. What's the point in having cool bars when you have no money or people to go with? Alright, you could say that the people trouble is easily workable, just go out and make connections. That's the main problem about that town, connections - very hard to do. Well, I know it's no excuse, I could only go out with them and nevermind their lack of warmth on the friendship field. But try to live alone in a big city with no real close friends.

After spending two months depressed and coming to Conquista for the school break I realized I might not have Volver on the theatres, but I've had a lot of warmth despite the cold winter weather. Here I'm known, not that that really matters, but it does make a difference. If one day I forget my ID and am ran over by a car no one will ever know until I'm missed for days. [That's beyond dramatic I'm sorry.]

In Salvador I study at the best university for the career I chose; Conquista's also has very good professors, but it's less famous. Dad also said that nowadays graduation could be done anywhere as long as your higher degrees are done in big-named universities.

All of these things were told before, but I was so single-hearted about Salvador I was evidently deaf. I do wish I'd heard him back then, but instead of falling in a remorse trap I'm trying to be practical about it and being what I was not in the past: reasonable. The problem with Aries is that we are very reasonable for certain things, sometimes very cold, and absolutely passionate about others. Especially big decisions.

So, the probabilities of me returning to Conquista next year are very real, it'll all depend on what happens this semester in Salvador.

...whatever will be will be.

[Song: Young At Heart - Joss Stone]