The 10 Madonna Commandments

1. Deeper and deeper and deeper... the deeper I go...

2. No matter where you are, no matter where you come from. You can always change, become a better version of yourself.

3. Rejection is the greatest afrodisiac.

4. FUCK OFF MOTHERFUCKERS!!

5. There's only so much you can learn in one place. The more that you wait, the more time that you waste.

6. I'm so stupid...

7. If you want to reach the top, reach the top.

8. I'm gonna destroy my ego

9. There's no greater power than the power of good-bye.

10. Don't you ever ever ever tell me... TO STOP!

(Song: Forbidden Love (2005) - Madonna)

The Cady Syndrome

This week on Kabbalah we're supposed to make a stand and choose between being good or bad. For Kabbalah (and also for me), worst than being bad is being none one nor another. To be in the middle of both means you contribute in nothing to life's wheel. Surely we must all be good and work our way towards the Light and honestly that's the path I decided to choose.

It's funny when I look back at my adolescence, I realize I was just like Lindsay Lohan's character in Mean Girls, Cady Heron. I was able to do all these horrible things as saying bad things about someone at their back and sabbotaging people, and acting like an angel. In other words, I would never dare to take the blame for my own actions in will to keep a good image to others. I was always standing in the middle, never taking chances and responsabilities.

I'm sure that now I'm not such person. Since I started studing Kabbalah, along with a year during analisys with a shrink, I've been changing my actions for a more proactive behavior. And now, during the last days of Scorpio, I'm even more commited to chalenge myself to the good. And as Cady, I'll be sucking the poison out of me.

Even though I try not to care about people saying things every time I turn my back, I still hate such thing, so I'm doing this anymore. I have to tell myself if I like that person or not and never act nicely around them, while I'm monster in their absence. To gain trust we must give a trustworth behavior and this is how I'm more accomplished to be.

Aside from the soulsearching actions, my life's ok. My PC died once more and here I am at college's computer having a girlie boy flirting with me once in a while, I'm still sick, my flu's killing me. I'm re-reading The Little Prince, my bigtime childhood book, I'm hooked on Kylie again (Better The Devil You Know is playing in my brains all day long); I'm anxious about my big Xtmas trip and the possibility to finally meet my hubby, and... I think that's all. Just for the record, Madonna rocks!!!

(Song: Mer Girl - Madonna)

Terrible Mood

I'm getting a flu. My nose is unbearably itching, my head aches, I feel sleepy all day long, my breath's "weird" (not to say stinky u.u), my throat's sore and my mood's in limbo.

I'm feeling kind of worried about my dad's visit on Wednesday, my English and French courses, and I feel mostly numb, like I lost power of action. I think I must pray in these cases.

I also feel like spending money. Christmas's coming and this time of year ALWAYS increases 10 times the strength of the Shopper Beast inside me. Here goes my list for this year:

1. Madonna's Confessions On A Dance Floor - Limited Edition;
2. Kylie Minogue's Impossible Princcess;
3. Kylie Minogue's KM 1994;
4. Joss Stone's Mind Body & Soul - Special Edition;
5. Kylie Minogue's Greatest Hits 87-97; (almost buyed)
6. (DVD) Kylie Minogue's Ultimate Kylie; (almost buyed)
7. (DVD) Kylie Minogue's On The Go Japan; (almost buyed)
8. (Book) Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince (Brazillian Edition);
9. (DVD) Box - Harry Potter: The Philosopher's Stone + The Chamebr Of Secrets + The Priosioner Of Azkaban.

Well, I just can remeber these now. And of course I plan to buy things for people, but Lucas first! After all, that's what's Christmas all about, spending our money (or our dad's) in gifts for ourselves. \o/

(Song: Kylie Festival: Cowbow Style, Say Hey, Too Far, Confide In Me and If I Was Your Lover.)

Dear Santa...

... I know I have been a less than behaved boy this year. My inconstant ups and downs had affected some people around me and hurt others I love, I did not give myself to the studies as much as I could, and should, and for these reasons I will not ask for much.

Here is the thing, Santa, I pierced my nose. And to be utterly honest, I loved it! It played with my image. I feel edgy and bolder, as if my oh so boring classic “sweet look” met this rebel wannabe and their blend worked for me. And sounds kind of foolish, but it did give me a sense of freedom, since I pierced my nose, I can dare to do and accomplish more in my life. It all may sound drama queen-ish and narcissistic, but you know well how I can get down like that sometimes.

Anyway, let us go to my actual wish for this Christmas. See Santa, suddenly, looks like the whole world got affected by an epidemic cheap honesty. Suddenly, people are saying whatever the feel like, whether they are requested or not, not even caring if they will hurt some feelings. I know that because since I pierced my nose, I had these unknown people telling me their opinions about it, especially those I never asked to. This fake sincerity only hurts and feeds egos; I feel I have been controlling mine, by only giving my opinions when they are requested.

But Santa, this letter is not to ask for real and down-to-earth sincerity to human beings. I believe it is not up to me to ask such thing for them, since I only know what is good or bad for me. So Santa, I just wrote this letter to ask you to give me the power of letting go. All I wish for Christmas is to know how to turn off and do not let people’s evil comments affect me and my mood.

Merci beacoup,

Lucas.

(Song: Annie - Vanessa Carlton [not a Christmas song, but it's inspiring].)

The Importance Of Being Fanatic

Once, somebody called fanatic for loving Madonna in a way I rarely see disappointing things on the things she does. Tonight, Madonna performed at Koko in London, in response to the (official) launch of her new album, Confessions On A Dance Floor. And then, this person came to me and told me again I was fanatic for being so excited to be watching the performance live at AOL. She told me she would prefer to wait to download and that I was fanatic for being thrilled about the live gig (note: she's a - supposed - Madge fan). Well, leaving the whole drama about, let's cut to Koko's telecast.

The gig was wonderful. Although her voice wasn't as perfect as in her latest Re-Invention Tour, it was still great! It was a normal gig, like the ones she usually does on her promo-tours. The Brixton Academy show (2001), from Music promotion, had only 4 or 5 songs, if I'm not msitaken, and all the gigs from American Life promo-tour had at max 6 songs. So, back to Koko:

Hung Up was what we've been seeing from TV performances. Same choreography, attitude, etc etc. She sang it perfectly.

Get Together was awfully beautiful and the backup dancers gave a special touch from what we've seen at Star Academy (France) and Parkinson's (UK) performances.

I Love New York was simply perfect!!! The intro speech was marvelous and I just added the "NY State Of Mind" to my vocabulay and behavior. The rock-dance touch given to the instrumental was fucking juicy and Madonna throwing herself up and down, rebelling, jumping, waving and shaking her booty was genious, the same goes to the scream at the "New York is not for little pussies who scream" line. :P

And M-O-T-H-E-R-F-U-C-K-E-R!!! What was Let It Will Be?!?!?! The remix was wonderful, evebn more dancey than the original version and by the middle, when the string arrangements return to the song, it gave me chills and butterflies. Some (dumb) fans claimed she untuned the whole song. Thank G-d I have some modest vocal technique notion, but enough to know she did NOT untune the whole song. If depended on some fans to measure Madonna's vocal skills, she'd be a lousy karaoke singer. Finally, did she untune? Yes, at the beginning, at the second line if I'm not once again mistake, but just as the European Music Awards' performance, it was nothing that doomed the whole thing. Ohhh... she dancing and throwing her hair was dang hot! And walking around with the hand into her pants (close to the panana - view photo above) was edgy and sassy, just like the old and "lovely" Madge we know.

Everybody was adorable. Seeing her performing it after 12 years is delicious (last time at the 1993 Girlie Show Tour). It was revisited, basically the Girlie Show's arrangement with a COADF sonority, however. I cannot rave too much on it since I just watched the very beginning and the ending (AOL died). I loved when she told people to sing while she danced. Of course, everyone faithfully obeyed.

In conclusion, Madonna saved my day. She NEVER lets me down and if it turns me into a fanatic, thank G-d I am! At least I'm happy and have loads of fun!











(Song: the whole Confessions On A Dance Floor by G-d (aka Madonna).)

Untitled

I have no idea how to title this post. But the thing is, I'm in São Paulo and yes, of course, I'm loving it, though I didn't have any sleep since I got here (at 5am of today after a 6-hours sleepless bus trip).

Now I'm chatting with my hubby and telling him how much I love him... lol, I feel stupidly in love! YAAAAY!! \o/

I'm okay, even having to go back to Marilia earlier than the expected, because of Fernanda's prom.

(Song: Undiscovered - Ashlee Simpson)

As Good As It Gets...

Well... if it were raining here, I'd be Don Lockwood, but instead of showmaking, I'de be shaking my ass while any track of Confessions On A Dance Floor would be playing... or Hollaback Girl!! :P

First and foremost, I'm in love again with the one I trully never had let go. And it's amazing. You see, sometimes we mistake care with need. The last one enslaves and maintain us into the unreal, hindering us to evolve with the Universe. The first one in the other hand is sweet, fulfilling and against all prejudices (and previous thoughts of mine) frees us sweetly. It feels so good to care and being cared about someone, and feel that at that very moment. It feels amazing to wake up everyday thinking in making someone happy, and in the end when you realize you're really making someone happy... it's the best feeling. I now just thank him for pushing me to see the other point of view.

I'm going to São Paulo tonight!! This time my sister is going with me and we'll try to adventure ourselves into the stone-jungle that Sampa is..... oh-oh right now, at this exact moment, I realized I'm screwed!! LOL... My sister just told me one of my best friends prom is on Monday, and I was supposed to be back here only next Tuesday!! OMG!! One more drama to be solved until 6pm. LOL!

Well, let's see what happens.

(Song: Wake Up/Your House - Alanis Morissette)

Warm inside...

Last night was AMAZING!!! It was Marilia's birthday and we went out. The last happenings of the week, between me and someone had left kinda low, but yesterday I decided to have fun. And I did!!

We went to this chic bar called Cachaçaria. Since I'm saving to buy the Confessions On A Dance Floor, I didn't spend a penny on booze. But of course I drank from other people's glasses!! I had a lot of fun with the girls, especially with Karla (my glass partner). She's crazy!! We spent the night trashing people. I laughed my ass off! There was this guy (HOOOT!) she said to be the lost Menudo. She's evil!! And I love it!!

Unpleasant moments: 1, Marilia pissed off because Lucas wanted to go home and, 2, Lucas thinking about someone. But Lucas didn't them ruin the night and he had the best fun in a long time.

Thursday: other party!! \o/

(Song: Hung Up - Madonna - The one I wanted to dance all night long.)

I'm Going To Tell You A Secret

To know more, to be more aware of ourselves, to grow and evolve and thus to the power to make a difference. This was the idea that stuck into my mind after finally watching Madonna's new film I'm Going To Tell You A Secret. Yesterday I finished downloading and today I watched all the videos on a row to reassure - not that it was needed - how amazing and beautifully inteligent Madonna is. By witnessing her relationship with dancers, band-members and staff, plus her family and especially with herself, we see how much she grew through all these years.

But the interesting thing is: as a real fan, that pays attention not only to the entertainer-Madonna, but also to the thought-provoking woman that she is since the beginning, it's impossible not to be inspired by this woman's growth. By the end of the movie, you become trully inspired to achieve self-awareness, so we can also be Light and change the world we live in.

I'm Going To Tell You A Secret is a fun and touching movie and is a "must-watch" for every Madonna fan, and I believe a great source of inspiration for everyone. It is a subtle and yet straight wake-up call.



(Song: Imagine - John Lennon)

Getting over...

Felt like I was rewinding my whole life by reintroducing him into the scenary, but in the end I felt better than I thought I would. I won't lie to anyone, much less to myself: some certain feelings still remain.

Yeah, life's a bitch, especially when we bitch it and sabotage ourselves. This time, once again, I'll let things go with the flow, but I'll try not to get lost of the track.

(Song: X-Static Process - Madonna... The MOST perfect song for the moment...)

Simchat Torah

Simchat Torah was PERFECT!! I spent the day walking down the streets on a terribly hot day, feeling the breeze on my face while listening to upbeat and happy music, and avoiding all kinds of drama that I or people would or could bring to myself.

At night ma vache (my mom) decided to hang on the computer till 2am. But in the meantime, since I was decided not to let this amazing Kabbalist holiday, in which we're suppose to have fun and feel happy by dancing, laughing and walking in circles to generate Encircling-Light, pass by inadvertent, I put my Re-Invention Tour DVD, by Madonna (aka G-d), and DANCED!!

There I was at 1am: voguing, shaking, waving, bouncing, spinning, whirling, etc etc!! Music and Holiday were done twice each, and by the time I stopped, my whole body was soak in sweat. After a shower, I logged on the MSN and still avoided all kinds of things that would tear my perfect night down.

And well, I don't know if it's normal to feel this way, but while and after dancing, I felt this incredible energy, filled with happiness and good vibrations. I'm really feeling I'll have a wonderful year. I wish things, of course, but I'm sure I'll be comfortable and centered if things end up not working the way I plan.

I promise myself that this forthcoming year will be very well lived!

*cheers*

Songlist of 2005 Simchat Torah:

00. ESSENTIAL TRACK: HUNG UP - MADONNA
01. Holiday - Madonna
02. Music - Madonna
03. Into The Groove - Madonna
04. Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
05. What You Waiting For? - Gwen Stefani
06. Luxurious - Gwen Stefani
07. The Real Thing - Gwen Stefani
08. Cool - Gwen Stefani
09. Screwed (Alex G Remix) - Paris Hilton :P
10. Rumors - Lindsay Lohan
11. Bucky Done Gun - M.I.A.
12. Gallang - M.I.A.
13. Over To You Now - Britney Spears
14. Chaotic - Britney Spears

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

J.K. Rowling delivered us the saddest book of the series, and the saddest book I've read so far. Of course I won't spoil it by telling what happens, but the 6th Harry Potter gets you hooked since the very beginning (which thankfully has very little of the Muggle part of the history), till the very last word, ripping out from you hurtful tears by the things that happen. Never a book has let me so sad as this one.

J.K. Rowling is a genious.... Can't wait for ther last book!!

PS: Missing the Honduran Salope!!

(Song: Autobiography - Ashlee Simpson)

Stupid Brain!

Sometimes I wish I was those stupid dumbasses who do stupid stuff and don't notice...

Actually, I don't think I did stupid stuff!! This is me and I've been like that since forever!! FUCK IT!!! All I want is vacation!!! Come December!!!!

(Song: Mobile - Avril Lavigne)

Holly Shit!! Not again...

Yesterday was Nathalia's birthday and I spent the whole day with her. She was kinda sick and I was there making her company on a gloomy birthday. I introduced her the album version of Hung Up and some other cool music, such as Britney's Chaotic and Kylie's Fever. We talked about music in general, high hopes on Madonna's upcoming album, art, school, in the end we had a nice time. But I had only one thing in mind while I was with her: to plant my lips on hers. This urge is not new, so I kept my cool.

But it kept me pondering. Because I don't want to feel infatuated again. I don't want the heart-racings, nor the anxiety, much less the anticipation to be around someone. I'm ok with my loneliness and I don't want again be hooked by someone who will not respond my feelings.
.
.
.
.
.
But still, yes, I wanna make out with her!!!

(Song: Ainda Bem - Vanessa da Mata)

Independence

It's weird when you have someone depending on you when your living so well your liberty. No, I did not adopted a child, though sometimes I feel as though I did.

I know sometimes people link their needs to others (wether people or things). I don't believe it's a right way to live, so I don't do it, but not everybody has such consciousness. The thing is, sometimes I get impatient when I'm the one who receives all the stream of necessities.

If you're not feeling ok with yourself, you cannot expect people to fulfuill you. Besides, it's not a healthy thing to tranfer to people your needs, especially because one, they have no obligation to assist you, and two, you'll never feel satisfied anyway.

So, independence is the way to go!! Improve your life with your own tools!

By the way, this week we're supposed to feel happy!! To be ourselves and have fun in the world!! Be cool, goofy, dance around and listen to our favorite tunes!! \o/ So, I'm ALL about HUNG UP!!!! Madonna's new track is absolutelly perfect for let go and have fun!!

(Music: MADONNA - HUNG UP!!!!!... also, Kylie - Body Language.)

The Constant Gardener

Well, I just came here to express how much I loved this film. With outstanding acting performances by Ralph Fiennes and luminous Rachel Weisz, thrilling cinematography, great script and genious directing, my Brazillian fellow Fernando Meirelles made the best film of the season so far.
All those excruciating minutes enduring a bunch of annoying 11-year-old girls with change truouble on the tickets-line were worth it.

(Song: Breakway - Kelly Clarkson)

São Paulo Days...

Since I stayed most of the week in the great city without posting, I'll try to sum these amazing days in a brief journal.

October's 8th, Saturday

I was supposed to arrive at my dad's at 6am, but I arrived an hour earlier. And since I'm a good and nice nerd, I came straight to the computer to... to... it doesn't really matter cuz I Lucas without a computer is useless Lucas. Anyways, after surfing on Madonna's message board, of course, and waiting for Flavia, who delayed to come, I went to bed, cuz even after a huge cup of coffee during the trip, I still needed to sleep. (By the way, I love my dad and loved to see him again...)
I woke at 11am and took a shower and me and my dad went to the mall. São Paulo is this cosmopolitan multi-cultural metropolis, where we can find all sort of things to do, since shopping in amazing and fancy stores to making out with unknown at Ibirapuera's Park (no I didn't do that). But still, the best place to go (at least for me) is the mall. We went to this one closer to our home, which I love, called Villa-Lobos. There I had a Big Mac with french-fries and milk-shake as lunch (my favorite McDonald's meal!) and realized I was bored of it... lol. AND OH DEAR!! São Paulo's men are the hottest ever!!

October's 9th, Sunday

We went to Villa-Lobos again. I bought British edition of Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince (reading and loving it). After spending hours in Cultura Bookstore, seeing books and cds, we went to the cinema, where we were supposed to watch Bewitched. But since my dad didn't like it that much and I wasn't so excited to see it anymore, we decided to watch The 40 Year Old Virgin. *turn Janice voice on* OH MY G-----D!!! It was simply the BEST comedy I've watched in years!! I didn't stop laughing from 1st minute till the genious 1979's musical Hair parody final sequence. The film is more than a dumb American comedy like Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie. It has substantial and clever jokes, and sex is just the tip of the iceberg of a plot that can be a very good and funny essay about growing up and being mature.
Ohh!! I had real disappointments on people I admired, after a ill-intentioned and stupid thread on Madonna's forum. But thankfully I was really over a ghost that had been haunting me the last few days. And this day had a reassuring mood after some good revelations and open-ups. I LOVE LIFE!!

October's 10th, Monday

I've no idea what happened this day! lol

October's 11th, Tuesday

I debuted my new blog where I'll right reviews for my favorite cds.
CD Bitch (and Jose you bitch, you better read my reviews! I promoted you to my fucking editor!)

October's 12th, Wednesday

I was mad, cuz my stupid Bunny gnawed a bit of my precious book (I just sounded like Gollum! U_U)!! I deserted him for life! (Nah, I still love him! :P) But...
HOLIDAY!! CELEBRATE!! It was Children's Day here and we went to this place called Radio Atual. It was a Northern stronghold, where I ate one of my favorite Brazillian cuisine's dish: Sarapatel. Don't even ask me to describe it. It was delicious, but the heat was killing me. Not only São Paulo's men are hot, its climate is horribly hot!! I was almost fainting. So what do you when you're really hot? You refresh yourself in a fresh place with air conditioner. Where to find such place on a holiday? THE MALL!! And of course, we went to Villa-Lobos again.
We spent severeal hours again stuck in Cultura Bookstore until we decided to go to the movies. And we tried to see something else, but we couldn't resist to review The 40 Year Virgin. The second time is even better than the first!! (yes, I just made a sex joke, and you better laugh at it! ;) ).
The day was also amazing, because I had a friend opening her chest to me. I love her to death, and no matter what she does I'll still love her.
Ahhhh!! I purchased Kylie Minogue's 2002 album, Fever!! It's supposed to be on my hands tomorrow (Saturday).

October's 13th, Thursday

All these days, I was supposed to meet a friend from Madonna's Forum. Rafael, my doable friend, as me and Jose call him, is a very sweet guy who would take me to my very 1st experience on a gay club. Well, I chicken-shitted and my dad helped not to go at all, cuz he didn't let me get a bus at night, since our neighboorhood isn't exactly "Wisteria Lane" under the darkness.
At daylight I was supposed to go to Paulista Avenue, but then I got lazy and just went to the nearest supermarket to do some shopping. I bought 3 amazing cds, Kylie's last year's geniousness Body Language, Alanis' last year's fiasco So-Called Chaos and her current-year piece of art Jagged Little Pill Acoustic. You can read my reviews for them at my CD Bitch blog.
OMG!! THE LEAK OF HUNG UP!!!!

October's 14th, Friday ("TODAY")

Well I was also to go to Paulista Avenue, but Hung Up didn't let me leave home. It has been FUCKING hot in here the whole day and I almost killed myself due to it (*drama queen mode on*)!!
At night, me and my dad went to a Jazz concert at, where?, Villa-Lobos Mall (it's already my second home in São Paulo)!! OMG!! This concert worthed my whole week in here. Jazz is the purest and best kind of music in the world. When you attend to a Jazz concert, you'd feel like the instruments have lives of their own, if their players weren't so cool and fun to watch. I really cannot understand how someone can call Jazz as a bore. It's the same of calling music a bore!! I also bought Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway and I'm still amazed by it! Kelly is an AMAZING performer and she's definitelly came to stay and have a long career!! Since U Been Gone is an anthem!!
PS: I indeed called my "date" with my doeable friend off. Well, I hope we can do that next time I come to this "paradise".

Well, this is it for now! Tomorrow I'll do my good-bye visit to Villa-Lobos, since it's my last full day here and we'll watch the anticipated (by me at least) movie: The Constant Gardner. And of course, my Fever album will arrive!!! \o/

TIME GOES BY SO (fucking) SLOWLY!!

Holly shit!! Madonna's upcomming single, Hung Up, leaked and I can't stop listening to it!! It's AMAZING!! And it'll be a delicious smash hit!! For those idiots who said she was old and rotten!!

The song is to be released on October's 17th, Monday, and Warner are threatening who spread the song via email, blog, forums or whataver. Ok, I won't put a download link here, but I won't stop listening to it until... until... who knows!! The track is damn good!!

São Paulo

Every time I come to this town I feel uplifted and alive. This time isn't different. A week before I was already counting down the hours and now here I am. I feel like I'll have a marvelous week!

(Song: Dia Especial - Shakira)

...

I've got a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall I dont care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine...

Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung

(Got the blues... or the reds...)

Revisiting...

Yesterday I revisited some of my life by retyping some of the poems I wrote last year. Today I feel more mature and grown and it's good and somewhat fun to notice that this process has been happening and how it's been going on. Suddenly I was happy to feel again some lost feelings, escially for some certain person. Even though the weekend was kinda turbulent due to a huge fight I had with my hubby, I had amazing moments, including a whole Sunday of gorgeous sleep!
I hope this week is as amazing and thoughtful as last one.

(Quit song: Hung Up - Madonna)

I Don't Miss You At All...

It's not like I don't miss anyone at all... but you know when you need those moments of your own, when you try to think about your dumb life? This is it. And this time, seems I'm really doing it; so all I need is some peace of mind.

YUD YUD RESH

(Song: I Don't Miss You At All - Norah Jones)

Let Go

Need is what we feel when we neglect ourselves...

Sometimes we connect our spiritual needs to the outside world, whether it's something, or whether someone. We often catch ourselves saying, "I'll be happy when I have that", "I'll be complete when whoever loves me", "I'll find happiness when I'm rich and famous", and when those things never happen, we fall into frustration, pain and depression. And therein lay the problem.
Lately - I mean, in the last couple days - I've been transfering my instant happiness to others. Insetead of making my day good, I've been waiting people to do it. But to be honest, I've had enough last night. I'll still have people in my life, and inviting them to make good moments in it, while I'll also try to be good at people's lives. But I am the second engineer (the first is always the Light) and the main project for now on . This line may sound very corny, but it's the utterly true at the moment: "hapinness lies in the palm of your hand."

(Quit "song" session: The Power Of Good-Bye - Madonna)

The Unknown

Today I went to the movie with my sister to finally watch The Amityville Horror. At first, if you're fan of awesome horror movies, that really scare the crap outta you, I recomend you this film. I believe everyone has at least an idea of what The Amityville Horror was, so I won't ramble about it. But the movie is so thrilling (and I badly anticipated it since I read the book) that I'd like to discuss some things that it made me think about.

Since whenever, we, human beings, wonder about life after death or if spirits, ghosts, poltergeists are real or just literature imagination. Many claim that the Lutz's story is a hoax. That by making up a horror story they'd get easy money. These people may be right, however, I don't believe that stories like the Lutz's are impossible. Since I belive that human beings have spirits, I believe that after a completed circle (death) spirits remain around us, carrying characteristics of their carnal lives. So I do believe in "evil" spirits and that they can influence our lives. No, I'm not a religious freak that believes all our actions and thoughts are influenced by the demon, actually, I don't believe on the Devil.
What's kind of interesting in all this is the attraction for the ocult that we grew in ourselves. Literature and cinema have been exploring this field exhaustingly and, even if most of the stories are similar, it still steals our attentions. As they say, it's what we don't know that fascinates us the mostly.

Song: Nothing Fails - Madonna (the one I'm listening to right now).

VAV HEY VAV

I should be killed every time I take my frustrations out on the person who loves me the best. The who always understands when I do crap and is always willing to put me at first on his life, even if I never do the same. I should be killed for neglecting such person.
But this is guilt and remorse is only here to invite me for a change. They're not supposed to hang out with my ego and keep me stopped at the same place. That's why this month, month of Virgo, I'm all about Time Travelling, so I can "transmorm my past, reshape my presnt, and creat a future full of joy and fulfillment."

Song: 1. No/La Pared - Shakira

Prepare Yourselves!!!!

Ring ring ring goes the telephone
The lights are on but there's no-one home
Tick tick tock it's a quarter to two
And I'm done
I'm hanging up on you

The Circle Will Come Around...

I guess this is the most neglected blog of the web... but I promise to kill my lazyness and write more often here (liar!).
Well, a lot happened since my last post and that's why the title of this one fits properly in what is to come. It's somewhat weird how we, in a moment, have an opinion and position about a certain situation and how we say to ourselves "this is it! There's no come back this time!", and suddenly we get ourselves facing this thing again and making the decisions we avoided before.
It reminds me of a pre-fame Michelle Branch song called Second Chances. Sometimes we have million second chances. The Light is always giving us many oportunities, not to do over, but to do better, try harder. When we catch ourselves having these second chances we get sure that the circle does come around, and we should move with it. If fate gives us the chance to try again, do so! Shall we not waste precious opportunity with pride and ego. Things happen in our lives to make us grow and have a larger notion from situations. There I was bragging myself for "letting go" of a virtual relationship, when I actually was very tied to it.
Enough of the "love-bla-bla-bla"...

My dear COW is about to release a new album in November! The COW is Madonna and the album is Confessions On A Dancefloor. We from the Madge-World are all excited about Hung Up's (1st single) launch and all the forthcoming projects. We'll have a very Madonna Christmas this year! And I can't wait for it!!!

To Stop Pretending...

You know like when you really get away for a while, and start thinking about everything you've been doing in your life and the other things you've been losing due to your current actions?
Well, July was the month of thinking. My computer got sick and almost passed away, of course I was petrified, how could I live without my PC? Then I started to do the things I wasn't doing through the whole semester, and I felt like re-descovering life. I saw friends I didn't see for months, I left the shell to find a dull, but fun when you wanted, city. Revisited thoughts and feelings, re-heard all my favorite CDs, wrote some poems and started a tale, found new obsessions and even got out of the closet (for my mom and friend Juliana only).
But the most important thing is that I liberated myself from a future-less feeling, a romance that got me stuck for 4 months. I don't regret have lived it, but right now I don't want to cloister and hibernate for another half-year. I definitelly had decided to stop pretending I was fulfilled. Am I fulfilled? Of course not! I still haven't found what I'm looking for... but now I'll look for it in the real world.

Come September...

White Lilies Island by Natalie Imbruglia

Natalie Imbruglia, one of my favorite aussies ever, prove why she's a (underrated) genious. Her sophomore album, White Lilies Island, come up as relaxing and emotive confessions after the heavy and dark enviroment of her debut Left Of The Middle.

She starts here with a stream-of-conscience called That Day. Teamed with bigtime pop-divas co-writer, Pat Leonard, she seems to uncover her (apparently) self-opressed chest in a rock driven beat. In the lyrics she repeats "what a mess, what a marvelous mess", and we can feel that mess on the madness of the melody, produced with lots of "beeps and noises", and on her rushy vocals as well.

Then she travels and surfs through "surrendering lyrics" (Beauty On Fire and Do You Love), sweet love song (Satellite) until lands on the perfection called Wrong Impression. Those string arrangements and (again) rushy vocals will drive you mad, as you dive into an insane urge to fall in love.

Right after comes Goodbye, the second most sentimental and strong-emotive lyrics of the album. This track inspired me to write a song called Waterfalls (a post down), while it rip me tears out during the composition. And after few minutes of pleasure hearing the following songs, you'll fall into the web of Talk In Tongues.

This is the BEST song of the album. Natalie drops us a quite depressive tune combined with kind of resentful lyrics. And everytime she reaches the highlight of the song, which happens to be the chorus, you really feel "crying, crying like a baby/ Caught between the tides", then you wonder if you're in your exact way. At this specific part it's hard to hold my tears back. Everything in the song fits perfectly, since the acoustic guitar, till the soothing flute melotron and even the corny sirens on the very background, and of course Natalie's sweet and piercing vocals, that enchant the most beautiful music written by her (as far as I know).

At last, but not least come Butterflies, a subjective song about death, and the cute Come September, that sounds as a perfect closure for this masterpiece. In it Natalie sings about a girl (I assume it's herself) who believes that the chilly breeze of Auttum will make her forget disapointment. And since we get involved with the atmosphere of the album since the beginning, having just a single moment of boredom (Sunlight), we just plead along with the lady:

"Come September..."

"...Are You Coming Down Tonight?"

I'm not exactly those kind of people who keep things simple. Actually, I admit that my second name should be "Drama". But sometimes, as a glimpse of divinity or some kind of epiphany, I seem to keep simpleness into something so-called complicated as love. Once again, I say that I don't go often easy as now, but each moment has its own specific terms, and now I feel simple while I hear to Natalie Imbruglia's Satellite.
Let me explain the whole matter. There's this boy who've been taking almost all of my thoughtful hours. I know I occupy most of his as well, but as nothing comes freely in this business, he lives kilometers down-south of me, and for that I thank (or damn) the "wide-world-web" inventor, because his creation has brought us together.
So, since late March I've been wishing and dreaming of this guy, who seems to be the answers to all my former doubts on love. It's hard to tell if "web-love" can be real. After all, "with all this space, can we keep it alive?" And as I wake up every morning and catch myself thinking of his smile, I also wonder if he, as me, lies awake at any moment of day and wonders a way of bringing us closer. And I fastly figure the answer out, when I notice he's been circling me for a while, like a Satellite. He's my Satellite (you're my Satellite).
That's when my spirit, in a marvelous moment of optimism and hope, tries to keep him in sight, and all this simple, and just asks:
"Are you coming down tonight?"

Inspired by Satellite (by Natalie Imbruglia).

---------------------------------------------------------------

Poems of the day...

"I've Fallen..." by Lucas Oliveira Dantas

All around
My expectations wonder
Where are your eyes when I'm lost in here
Calling out, all around
My heartbeats denounce
All the thrill I feel when you're finally here

I want you, but I want you to understand
I'm Confused, I'm wrong

Didn't want to let you see my fragile part
Didn't want to hurt your heart with my pride
But I, have fallen
Didn't want to fight, though my mind keeps punching
Didn't want to pierce you with my childish yearning
But I, have fallen

"Waterfalls" by Lucas Oliveira Dantas

I'll repeat everyday, this inexplicable crush
I'll first deny away, then try to bring into close
But you turn to me and say
You'll fight me again and over
And I try to push you away
As my acts make you stronger

That's when I lie awake
And wait for you to take
My Heart, My Heart

My head works over time, do you still want me
My confused strange mind, don't want you to break me
But you turn to me and say
You'll still keep it working
Though I still push you away
You stand on in your journey

That's when I try in vain
To run, hide and throw away
Your Love, Your Love

And from the straight line
I watich you win me all

And I don't understand, why I still fight
But you tell we'll be fine
That you'll be still believing
And my tears as waterfalls
As you have me succumbing

Now I want a chance
'Cause your strength has made me embrace
Our Love, Our Love

Nothing Lasts Forever, But Together Till Then [I Believe In You] (Kylie Feelings - Part 1)

For me, the word "believe" is one of the most beautiful in English language (along with "afterglow"). It brings you an implied state of surrendering, because when you believe in someone, you give in to one, as if it now owned some part of you.

We all know Kylie's vocals aren't the strongest, but in here, they're replete of beauty and sweetness. She sounds joyful, as the melody sends you to a feeling of peace and, according to the vocals, joy. Scissor Sisters' Jake Shears made one of the most beautiful melodies of 2005 (till now). Its electronic beat combined with a stuning violins arrangement and K's vocals mesmerize us, making us slaves to it and turning the "repeat" function of our cd players into a cosntant. Lyrically speaking, IBIY's structure is very simple but it's content impress. You can simply see it as an average pop/ballad, however its lyrics has an amazing sense of surrendering. As I said before, when you believe in someone, one owns a part of you, and Kylie shows us when she comes to the bridge and declare: "And if you ever have to go away/ Nothing in my world could ever be the same/ Nothing lasts for ever, but together til then/ I'll give you everything I have again and again". Besides that specific part, the chorus is thrilling as well.

I tend to see I Believe In You as a testify of faith. Its denials sounds as explicit affirmations of someone who apparently is out of faith, but in fact believes more than doubts.

IBIY is definitelly an oustanding gem of pop music that hopefully will be remembered for a very long time.

First Things First

go ... As I emotionally listen to JET's Look What You've Done, and feel its mostly piano-smooth-drums-and-shy-guitar melody turn into a frantic and piercing beat of the bridge, I try to think of the words to explain the main reason I've decided to be back on "blog-world". Actually there's no special reason. I like to write, I'll write, post here and try not to care if people will read it or not.

Definition: This will be a place where I'll post thoughts in general, but mostly I'll try to write reviews (aka personal feelings and impressions) about my favorite CDs, movies, TV-Shows episodes, etc etc.