BitchyList

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Lucas In Indieland

Lucas: "You know Ego, how to live in a world without glamour? The shine, all the clothes and our best friends, the diamons [of course]... uhg the cold hard cash and with him Mr. Right! Tell me luv, how to live without it?"
Ego: "Meow!"
Lucas: "Of course you understand, you are inside of me! Oh Egosie to live in a world without Oscars and Globes and Parises and Madonnas and Kylies... uhg it'd be life reading books without pictures, listening every new week to the next rock legend that does absolutely nothing different from the previous one!" *dies*
Ego: "Meow... meow."
Lucas: "The other day I had the strangest dream: I was at a mall... the one we used to hang around for so many hours, you know... and it was holiday, actually it was Christmas Day, everything was closed; all the stores! It was spooky... felt like Capitalism had died, or decided to take a nap... I felt relived when I found the McDonald's open and G-d how hungry I was! I ate there after I stood in line for hours to buy a film ticket. Oh dear Ego, it was so stressful! An indie-ish hottie decided to bitch about my student ID, the same one I always present there and anywhere else in the country!, that even his hotness annoyed me deeply. And there I kind of felt I wouldn't exactly enjoy the film or the meal. Of course that the meal I enjoyed, especially when cuties after cuties sat at the tables beside mine.
"So yeah, the movie received all my bad mood. It was a good one though; a movie about this Cheshire Cat-like dude... you know Cheshire Cat Ego... no? C'mon I've showed you him before whenever he wasn't invisible of course... uhg Ego your memory sucks! Anyways, the movie was lucky for its cast since it presented some major flaws like bawdy mics hovering around the actors' heads and quirky but not convincing edition. Cheshire was great as always, uhg how charming and seductive he was! We believe him right away... everyone else was okay as well - that other girl can act! - and the Alice-esque-Always-Curious inspector was pleasant. But, uhg Ego, the Queen Of Hearts In Briefs was so hot! Whenever he appeared I was... you know me..."
Ego: "Mee-ee-ow..."
Lucas: "... seriously, your attitude just irks me sometimes! But well yeah... suddenly in the dream I was having Thai food and chatting with mom and sis and the mall was full [the Capitalism-death nightmare had finished which meant we wouldn't have to wear Che t-shirts just because it was all they'd give us to wear]!! Suddenly I was in a villa in Spain with these gorgeous women cleaning some tombs. Ego, I had tears on my eyes all the time; the colors and the angles were so breathtaking, making me feel so nostalgic and welcomed. This ghost had come from the deceased and the lives of her two daughters changed after that; uhg Ego I felt so uplifted and comforted, with this sense of security that everything would one day be okay about my own ghost [read: mother]. What I most loved was how subtle and magical everything felt... when they played that song we absolutely love... yeah that one! It felt so right for the moment, my smile was so wide you know...
"Then Ego I don't exactly remember what happened, just that I had stepped back in time with a Canadian family in the 1960's with a gifted gay son. Ego, can you imagine my happiness? Of course you can't, all you think about is yours... u.u But well, I was first with these strong and decided Spanish women and then with a c.r.a.z.y.-ish and dysfuncional Canadian family, portraying three Eras I haven't lived and of course would love to have lived in, swayed by delicious époque music and wardrobe plus an everlasting and forever strong and beloved song. Uhg Ego, "pure cinematic magic!"
Ego: "Prrr... meow."
Lucas: "Uhg I hate when you sound bored... give me some credit okay the dream was long and somewhat confusing. Next thing that comes to mind is that I was watching a studio filled with quirky people that seemed to have stopped in time. Talk about fun! They talked so crazily fast but they were so funny. I was wholly mesmerized by one particular woman with her somewhat innocent and airy behavior and way of singing. Her sister and daughter also caught my eye, but every one was hilariously delightful. After I left those people I started feeling a bit sad, feeling like those were my last moments in a place I in few days had learned to love intensely and now had chose as my cultural north. Suddenly I was already missing my Minnesota home even though we know I never had one.
And then I was transported into the early 19th century with an adorable copyist and a crazy musician in the verge of writing his greatest masterpiece. Uhg Ego-sie I died! The crazy musician was G-d and his music made me cry like a baby."
Ego: "Me-ow."
Lucas: "Uhg dumbass, didn't you notice that these series of dreams were soo not glamed? I felt into indie labirynth and you know I liked it! Of course I'm not hanging a rabbit poster on my bedroom nor taking pills to be on TV, but I really loved the things I've seen in that dream..."
Ego: "Uhg... meow... just wake up Alice, you're not Miss Sunshine."
[Song: Like A Prayer - Madonna]

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Full Circle

At the beginning of the year, my summer was marked by something inevitable. On Christmas Day it happened again.

December's 24th - My sister and I arrived in Salvador from Conquista and hell what a crappy trip! We took a nap [against her will] and around 11 she went to my grandma's I went for shopping. I got me December's Vogue, Prada's soundtrack, Maria Bethânia's Mel and Grease Rockin' Edition. [Me wants that jacket for miself!] When I got at granny's I was received by the old woman herself, my mom and aunt; with them I felt great but uhg talk about weirdness. They all know I'm gay because my mom drama-ed about it yelling and crying out loud to everyone how disappointed she was; my mom's family is protestant, so do the math. When I took my Vogue out of the bag my mom and aunt asked loudly "why do you read Vogue?" I didn't dignify the question with an answer and started flipping the pages, smelling the gorgeous perfumes, which they soon came to do as well. Later my mom and I started to talk about my sister and in a way only mothers can do she twisted the whole conversation turning it into my sexuality subject and my father's acceptance about it. [Her theory goes that I only stuck to my father's side all these years because I was preparing land to come out and have the support - with her it's about "trades" and competitions and she's the first to scream "spirituality" to whatever is told. Yaaay Christmas!!]

Since nothing was going to happen at my grandma's mom and I went to our cousin's home where I'd meet my godfather and his family and some other relatives. It wasn't a marvelous evening but I had my fun [read: loads of food and a glass of whisky]. I of course had more talk with the kids than the adults and after supper I slept.

December's 25th - I woke up after a horrible night at the floor [my grandma's house has a million people and no extra bed]. I took a shower and prepared myself to go to my [other] aunt's lan-house when I spoted my mom approaching and decided to go later in order to have lunch. As we got in my aunt was nervous by the phone sided by my cousin; minutes later we hear the loud cries and the news: Junior's [my cousin] father had passed away. Right there on Christmas Day, at lunch hour.

Coming to think now, 2006 was a complete year, a full circle started by someone's death and ended by someone else's death. Both of my dead "uncles" were ex-husbands from aunts of mine from either side of my family, as some kind of cosmical balance. The Death is a common subject for millenia and it's not everyone that has the "luck" to be surround by it on the different extremes of the year. When it happens it's time to think about ourselves what we've been doing with our lives, and when it happens at such moment it's a duty to do so. My uncle died from a heart attack, he had a rather wild life style filled with drinks, ciggaretes and sex. Ha, the life style Lucas wants! Not exactly, but yeah. The thing is that somehow his death sealed the year and opened the window to the next's main goal: live more!

I wish you all a Happy New Year!
Much love, blessings, self-knowledge and of course,
Light.

[Song: Isaac - Madonna]

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Christmas Song

"My phone's on vibrate for you
Electroclash is karioke too
I try to dance Britney Spears
I guess I'm getting on in years
My phone's on vibrate for you
G-d knows what all these new drugs do
I guess to have no more fears
But still I always end up in tears
My phone's on vibrate for you
But still I never ever feel from you
Pinocchio's now a boy
Who wants to turn back into a toy
So call me
Call me in the morning
Call me in the night
So call me
Call me anytime you like
My phone's on vibrate for you
For you"
Yeah, pretty sad but isn't Christmas sad? It's funny though because the supposed savior was born on this day but still there's such a feeling of nostalgia and gloominess in it. His parents were running away from an evil marahaja [I could not help it ho] who killed a lot of other kids in the hope to actually kill him, then in Bethlehem they were ditched from every place where they could possibly stay and Maria ended having her baby in a stable. Fine, they got incense, mirra and GOLD for the baby later, but talk about sad story!!
Then comes Rufus's Vibrate which is a piece of Classic-esque music that sounds so aching and deeply heartfelt for itself but when he adds those raspery and enchanting voice with those beautiful lyrics about waiting and longering, how not to think of Christmas with all the longering and scent of hope in the air mixed with turkey and panetone? There we go living our trivial lives filled with Britney Spearses and drugs while we still wait for salvation forgetting that maybe it lies on those very little things we do in a daily basis.
So everybody, I wish you all happy Holidays and that little "boring" constant soul-searching I always wish for people. That in the year to come we all become more thoughtful to life's simple signs.
Much Light and love to everyone.
Edit: If you please scroll down you will find my lovely Songs Of 2006 List. The ho has posted his last night and is even more great and diversified than this one below. AND yes, feel free to do yours yourselves, it's a great way of revisiting the year.
[Song: duuuh!]
PS: I'm positng this now because I'll be PCless again.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

The Songs Of 2006

[Note: I'm setting an official date to my annual list - the last Thursday before Christmas. Why? Who the hell cares...]

In the second half of the year all I could think about was this list. I was both excited and apprehensive to do it, especially because 2006 was a crappy year in music. Practically nothing good was released on Pop music, having some major disappointments that made me cling to the oldies or other music styles such as Jazz and Dance. 2006 was the affirmation of Kylie as my G-d, Madonna spoiled us with two live masterpieces and the mainstream come-back of an artist that I love dearly. No more rambling, let’s get to it.

- Top 10

10. "Stars Are Blind" by Paris Hilton
I always loved Hilton, she’s one of those quirky and eccentric things on celebrity world that you simply can’t ignore, even if it’s for her shallowness; this year she released her music debut album. When “Stars” hit my ears I instantly loved it! It’s cute, fun and catchy; who cares if she can’t sing and has computer made up voice? She’s fun dude!

09.
"Music Sounds Better With You" by Stardust
I’m not much of a clubber, but I LOVE club music. “Music Sounds Better With You” has a strong and poignant identity that makes you dance and happy whenever you listen to it. During my last days in Marilia I listened to it repeatedly… there was even a weekend it was played from Friday to Monday non-stop!

08.
"Every Time We Say Good Bye" by Ella Fitzgerald
Everyone knows my love for Cole Porter and Ella. This song is just beautiful and uhg, that Ella woman knew how to make us cry with her voice.

07.
"Me Pregunto" by Belanova
Thanks to the ho I know Belanova and this was my walk-song during most of the first semester. Besides, there's a cute naivité and freshness to Denisse's voice you can't help falling in love.

06.
"Aganjú" by Bebel Gilberto
In my search and desire for music to fill the lack of decent new stuff I found out Bebel Gilberto, a Brazilian like me that I ignored for a long time. Bebel does electronic bossa like no one will ever do. Her voice is sweet, calm and brings light and smiles no matter how sad the lyrics are. "Aganjú" is a huge song in a minimalist disguise: everything works both together and separated and boy how it hooks in you! One can’t not love that percussion.

05.
"Peach Trees" by Rufus Wainwright
Every year I catch myself asking the same question about some artists: “how could I have lived so long without this one?” Rufus Wainwright came into my life for good after obsessing with Prime’s soundtrack. However, “Peach Trees” isn’t just a love song, it’s the perfect description of a part of Lucas for the last seven months at least. Besides, Rufus is a genius and a hottie.

04.
"Lightning Strikes Twice" by Saint Etienne
The last entry of the year is so damn powerful that surpassed many contenders and made it easily to my top 5. I apologize for the ho for not paying attention to Etienne when he told me to, now I just can’t get enough. “Lightning” is a piece of indie dance music with haunting bass and darkish lyrics sweetened up by Sarah Cracknell’s vocals that make everything beyond lovely. Hosie, this is our macumba song.

Bronze:
"Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland
Sometimes I wonder if this was recorded by PCD I would have loved it so much; but, I know those strippers would never have the word “chivalry” in a song. However, it’s not only that that makes me love “Promiscuous”, it’s not only its sass and infectious beats, the gorgeous chorus and the genius production. You know I’m a sucker for reinventions and Nelly Furtado did her come back with classy and stylish sexiness: she talked about sex but maintaining her usual clever lexicon, she showed skin but if you check out photo shoots you will not find Britney Spears and the best part, she made the return to her hip hop roots delightful and listenable: there are not a million “featurings” and she gave a couture and retro feeling to every little song of her album. It’s chic, hip and above everything fun.

Top 5:
1. Promiscuous [featuring Timbaland]
2. Maneater
3. What I Wanted
4. Let My Hair Down
5. No Hay Igual


Silver: "Erotica/You Thrill Me" by Madonna
One of my funniest memories of this song is that the day it leaked, on the verge of The Confessions Tour, I gave a little look at the online people on my MSN and 70% of them were playing it. It became a fever!! Not only the Madgers but even the normal people loved it and obsessed about it. And it’s perfectly understandable; anyway, who knows Madonna’s Erotica knows this remix is a cumming what's the word… reinvention! The new synths and beats are completely different from the original plus Madonna uses the original and previously discarded “You Thrill Me” that happens to be Erotica’s demo version [for the sinners that didn’t know that]. Erotica that originally is a dark and haunting song became lightful and cheerful with a new and exciting sex-appeal: instead of decadent dominatrix, kinky and horny girl. And you know what I think about those kinky and horny!

Top 5:
1. Erotica/You Thrill Me
2. Get Together
3. Forbidden Love
4. Jump
5. Your Honesty


Gold: "Dangerous Game" by Kylie Minogue
If you run through this year’s posts you will find Kylie Minogue in most of them, especially “Dangerous Game”. I won’t talk again about the dramatic performance and context this song belongs and actually there’s not much to be said about it, the lyrics are pretty obvious and the melody is as aching as her performance. But the reasons I chose this to be this year’s gold go beyond my personal impressions of it; anyone who loves music and has a good ear must recognize this song’s power. The instrumentation is full and real, no fake/synth strings, yes poignant percussion and yes cinematic production! “Dangerous Game” is and will forever be a classic to me for those reasons.
Top 5:
1. Dangerous Game
2. Put Yourself In My Place
3. Drunk
4. Some Kind Of Bliss
5. Breathe

- The Showbitch Awards – Top 3 [Here are the live tracks that made me cum-the-most this year.]

1. "Live To Tell" by Madonna at The Confessions Tourmirror-ed cross… that’s all!

3. "Hand On Your Heart" by Kylie Minogue at The Showgirl Tour – folies + hands + “woo woo woo’s”!!

- The “Simpson Sisters” Award – Top 3 [“hate them, love the song”]

1. "The Beat Of My Heart" by Hilary Duffthis one is mainly Jose’s fault [June 27’s post]! But this song redeems Duff from all her disposable career.

2.
"A Public Affair" by Jessica Simpson – I still don't like Jessica but dude this song is adorable! Besides she pays homage to Madge twice: first on the 80’s sonority, the song sounding like Holiday, then on the Sorry-esque video, roller-skates are the new deal!

3. "Deja Vu" by Beyoncé featuring Jay-Z – this song is simply infectious; it’s not as amazing as Crazy In Love but boy it’s fun! Its soul/R&B retro feeling made me more Beyoncé friendly in spite of her hype.

- The Like A Virgin Award – Top 5 [not necessarily new artists, but new addictions of mine]

1. "Moi… Lolita" by Alizeé – ha! This is HUGE, I absolutely love this song! First it’s a mega dancefloor/pop tune that clings to your head and body and there you go… then there’s Alizeé’s raspery voice and the sexy language! French rocks my socks!

2. "Heartbeat" by Annie – Annie is amazing simply because she’s fun. Her voice is almost inexistent, her lyrics are okay, but her music is beyond cool. Manage to keep yourself stopped while listening to "Heartbeat" and I’ll burry you.

3. "Alala" by Cansei De Ser Sexy – my wannabe song. It’s sassy, funny and dancey; me loves quirky indie pop!

4. "Where Does The Good Go" by Tegan and Sara – I know little about these two [I don’t even know if Tegan is a boy or a girl], but I know I adore this song. It’s been on a Grey’s Anatomy episode and is my break up song [blame Gustavo].

5. "A Perfect Sonnet" by Bright Eyes – I got into this band because of a guy [yes, I have no personality!]. Conor Oberst’s vocals in here are bad and out of tune but he gives great performance to the song’s lyrics, that happens to be one of the most heartbreaking and perfect descriptions of love deception.

Honorable Mentions
"Tout Les Garçons Et Les Filles" by Françoise Hardy – français est ma romance langue!
"The Man That Got Away" by Judy Garland – addicted to it for more than a year, did you really think it wouldn’t be here?
"Este Corazón" by RBD – fine, judge me as you please but I love this. [Uhg, I even did a corny rhyme!]
"Message Personnel" by Isabelle Rupert – Françoise Hardy plus genius performance by a genius actor; Rupert gave the sadness and douleur that not even the song’s author could.
"Set The Fire To The Third Bar" by Snow Patrol featuring Martha Wainwright - A lovely ghost gave it to me and I instantly fell in love with it. A last and on-the-moment addition because my stupid memory forgot how I liked this... ironic.
"All Good Things (Come To An End)" by Nelly Furtado“Well the dogs were barking at a new moon, whistling a new tune, hoping it would come soon. And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went away. And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and the rain forgot how to bring salvation; the dogs were barking at the new moon, whistling a new tune hoping it would come soon so that they could die”… enough said.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Hosie

I was bored and wanted to blog so he told me to blog about him. So I'll write a poem:

He loves to say the word cum
Because the amount of what we have of that
is none
Whenever Lucas is fucked up he knows
Josesito will always be there to blow
Not that you dirty dumbasses I mean
He's the one that makes me happy and grin
He loves portuguese and plans
To change his name to Joaninho Vatapasinho Hosie-ann
That because he thinks it's fun
to add the inho to the end of words
But beyond all the craziness and quirkiness
I love him dearly because he's me
and I am him
We get obsessed about aussies, lots of things
And even like to synch
the music we love, not everyone knows how to do this
He's my ideal man but I'll never do him
Because his vagina smells like green juices
I love how he makes me laugh
His crankiness and bitterness makes me glad
Not that I'm Nora Dinsmoor or whatever
It's cuz I also get like that
And then we get at our most sarcastic
Poor of those we decide to bitch about
Hosinho says I turned him into a pooper
Well if he'd heard me before Jacqueline wouldn't've come so sooner
Yeah you have no idea who Jacky is
But unfortunatelly I can't tell you more about this
You can be sure you'd love to hear
Every story from this man is better than beer
He taught me 'bout the Oscars, turned me into a film-freak
We'll write a letter-bomb and send to Clint
I also thank him for my sass and my spirituality
We love to do scenes on the webcam
We do Mammy, Bri, Vogue, Live To Tell on crosses till we cum
There you go thinking Jack nasty again
We never cyber cuz it's dirty we just laugh our asses of
and poses
And "put your hand on your heart" if you now know who I mean
We love her camp her hips and perfect bliss
Of course he annoys me with that cancer woohoo
But we love her to death we want her dancers her feathers
Kylie is the showgirl queen
Madge brought us together I thank her
Cuz life I know now is way better
Hosinho will be in mine forever and ever
Happy Christmas everyone
I asked for Santa
That the boyfriend he brings me is like
My Josesinho Santana*

*yeah, that's the only word I could think of that rhymed with Santa, don't judge me. u.u

Aaaaaaaaaaand, he did one for me too: sing it a la Vogue and laugh your asses off.

[Song: Better The Devil You Know - Kylie Minogue (Hosie and I's Xtmas song)]

Monday, December 18, 2006

For You Consideration

Will you be kind in reading this, please?

Thank you very much.

[Song: No Hay Igual - Nelly Furtado]

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

Judgemental people will probably read this with pointing fingers but I am actually a bit impressed with myself after this.
A week ago I had my first joint ever. I didn't feel anything. However I know exactly that I couldn't feel anything because I actually didn't know how to smoke... not pot specifically, anything.
My cousin Clarissa told me later that she had never tried maryjuana even though she was always curious. Among her concerns about it was the fear of getting addicted to it, which is mine as well; besides that our family is really judgemental about it and condemned severly other cousins of ours who used to do it. Seriously, if my mom ever know that I had a joint I don't know what she'd do, you all know how she reacted after learning I'm gay. But still my cousin turned to me and said: "omg, do learn how to do it and tell me later how it feels like!" All I needed, more encouragement to get the highway to hell.
So I put myself in a mission: I was to learn how to smoke to then try pot properly. Yesterday I met Alais for the last time before coming back to Conquista and after we left this old and gorgeous theatre in Salvador we stoped at a newsstand and bought my first pack of ciggies. L.A. mint-ed. We went to a café, ordered cappuccinos and sex-talked [the way my cigarette daydreams always were].
My first gulp was heavenly! It felt like I always knew it. Of course I had some trouble in lighting it up [Alais had to do it for me], but after I first felt the smoke sneaking into my lungs and I inhaled deeply the nicotine I felt this delicious taste of mint mixed with an instant sense of relaxation. We were sat on those garden/pool chairs and as I felt my head smoothly spining I leaned my back and lied down. Main thought at the moment: "this is so good, of course it's wrong."
And that's it! I managed to learn and do the thing. That gave me a good insight about myself and how far I can go if I only put myself to try to do; without fears and prejudices, just go and do. I had a couple moments like that before in Marilia, but the last months in Conquista were so full of wish-I-do's that this last accomplishment made me feel somewhat proud of myself.
Now of course I dread about becoming a regular smoker [which won't happen], after all I just sneaked out and had two more of these guilty pleasures [oh boy]. I won't let it become a big deal in which I'll be drama-queening about killing myself or whatever; I'll take this experience as a lesson learned in kicking the fear and doing.
I think I'll make some phone calls...
[Song: Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk - Rufus Wainwright]

Home [?]

I'm back home to do some last exams for the college thing and now that I'm here and realized they're tomorrow, I'm starting to freak out! I really wanna pass, but for the first time in my life [in terms of vestibular - the name of the exams we do to get into college] I am getting scared.
As you know I moved back to Bahia to live in Salvador even though the last months were spent in Vitória da Conquista [my dad's hometown]; this moving to Salvador is confirmed but something beeps inside of me, screaming that succeeding on the vestibular is the one thing I need to validate my next year.
This is risky business, relying on one thing to define your life... but it's my drama-queen mode on full speed at the moment. Wish me luck for tomorrow...
[Song: I Don't Need Anyone - Kylie Minogue (I guess this is seriously becoming my New Year's song-moto.)]

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I Feel Like Speed...

Last days were kind of normal again but some odd things kind of happened.
I met Alais two days ago at her house and I met Samantha Jones. Okay, I'll explain: Alais's aunt is on her 50's and she gets EVERYONE!! She has more sex in a week than I and all my friends ensembled ever had in our lifetimes, PLUS she gets anyone she wants, from 20's to 50's like her. Seriously, she's a G-d ain't she?
Later that night, after we had a snack at one of Alais's [cute] ex-ficantes* I went to get my bus home when a High School ghost called her. Vinicius, a guy that was a friend of mine during HS but we fought and a drama gap got between us. Alais, le bitch, managed to make us meet that night; she said it was ridiculous of us to still be "nemesis" since we both had changed and became completely different people from the past and that we should meet and restart... that cow was right but I still didn't know. I mean, I suck when it comes to the past; I freeze, piss my pants and get nervous. Everything that didn't happen when Vinicius and I met again.
Alais had referred to me as his "arc-enemy" [which was a joke of course] and he followed the joke when we met [which is always a pro]. It's not like we're best friends again, but it's like kicking the frigging past and giving new chances to life. We met again while I had lunch with my mom yesterday and we waved hi, no further talk obligation, and you know what, I love that feeling, of being okay with everyone; even though I love to Miranda, not having anyone to hate and not being hated by anyone is gorgeous.
Later I met Alais again with [another - this time mega hot] ficante and we watched Scorsese's The Departed: they hated, I loved of course. Only one person is perfect for movie moments, and you know it's you ho so aww and cry, lol.
*ficante means the person you're dating but there are no strings attached yet.
[Song: I Don't Need Anyone - Kylie Minogue]

Monday, December 11, 2006

Here I Go...

It feels like yesterday that I was here in Salvador for the last time. I came in July and was having all kinds of experiences and revelations.
Although this time has been as delicious and interesting, nothing much had happened so far: I did my exams, I went out with Alais, we visited the local British Cemetery, we had brunch, I went out with my cousin Clarissa [no ho, she will not buy the flowers herself], got hit by a queen who asked Clarissa my name/orkut/phone/email [of course she didn't give], had sushi, had loads of fun with Clarissa's kids and that's all...
Friday I'm going back home for my last exams BUT coming back here for Christmas. Of course I'm already broke and still have A LOT to buy and see and eat.
[Song: Jump - Madonna]

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Top 5 Favorite Songs In Movies

My passion for films and music is well known and the marriage of these two is so obviously well succeeded that there is no need for me to ramble. This list [because I have nothing else to do but doing lists] is about those sequences in a film that a song defines a scene, no lines or explanations are required, just the scenes and the music.
Honorable mentions:
Two of the films from this list has more than one song moments that I completely adore. However I had to choose one of them to make it to the final list; that doesn't stop me from mentioning them anyway. Others are amazing and sometimes over-adored scenes, that even though I now think are too hyped I could not not mention.
- "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice [Closer]
Absolutely everyone loves this, maybe simply by the fact that Rice's song is beyond marvelous. I like it for other few reasons; one is that the song is played at the begining of the film and at the end: in the same movie the same song plays different and important roles to the story.
In the begining when we have a short-pink-haired Natalie Portman walking among the crowd in London streets and towards her comes forever-hot Jude Law, this song plays as a prelude, a "set the mood" song. It works perfectly because the song is haunting enough to tell us that that is a dark movie we are starting to watch. That first line completely chills me to the bone.
In the end, when the characters do all those things they do and we just get shocked about their behaviors, maybe because human beings really play those games, the song works as a line, as the film's itself line. Although I know the readers of this blog have seen this film, I really cannot go further on details about this, because who knows a wandering [and completely lost] blogger decides to read this and I spoil the whole pleasure in watching this film and feeling this song's job in it. But you all know what I mean, right?
- "The Man That Got Away" by Judy Garland [A Star Is Born]
I first listened to this song on the Gilmore Girls' 5th Season episode "So... Good Talk". Did I die when Luke knocked on Lorelai's door and kissed her as a sealing of their return as a couple while Judy Garland sang this song on Lorelai's TV? Do I really have to answer?
When I finally watched 1954 George Cuckor's version of "A Star Is Born" with Judy Garland, all I could wait for was to see the scene that had the song that made me cry over and over for no apparent reason, just for the sake of drama-queening. When I finally heard those trumpets on the film as Norman Maine [James Mason] enters the Jazz bar Esther was playing with her band that night, I felt the chills; but when I finally had the pleasure to see Judy's performance I died, I cried my insides out!
First thing that came to my mind after it was over: "AGAIN!"
- "Crazy For You" by Madonna [13 Going On 30]
Okay, Jennifer Garner, the 80's and Madonna... do the math.
What I most love about the final scene of this movie [when the song's chorus is played with this amazing additional string section] is that it's simply beautiful! It doesn't have any deeper meaning than it's Jenna's favorite song; I could say it was because she trully always loved Matt and bla-bla-bla, but it isn't really what this film is about. It's just about being cute and make us cry and smile with its lovely happy ending. And Madonna's song makes the closure perfect.
- "Come-On-A-My House" by Della Reese - dubbed by Madonna [Swept Away]
It's not like I had to manage to add this woman more than once on the list. I really abso-fucking-lutely love the scene where Adriano Gianinni's character tell a now-tamed Amber to sing and dance for him. The thing starts hilariously with Madonna in a high pitch voice but even that managed to make her Master Esposito get a boner.
Okay, it's better if you watch it.
It could be the island's mood or the temperature abrupt variations from day to night, but yeah Peppe we do understand your delirium: sizzling hot!
- "It's Raining Men" by Geri Halliwell [Bridget Jones's Diary]
Would there ever be another song to describe that infamous fight scene between hotties Daniel Cleaver [Hugh Grant] and Mark Darcy [Colin Firth]? I mean, Bridge is our hero man! She went from self conscious-30-years-old-single-therefore-depressed girl to two-hot-men-fighting-over-me!!
- "Without You" by Renée Zewellger [Bridget Jones's Diary]
This is one of the most hilarious parts of the movie. There she is, our hero drunk as pig at a Christmas party at her office singing Mariah Carey's Without You with her horrible drunk untuned voice, completely making a fool of herself because she was clearly singing it for Daniel Cleaver, her love interest. What's left for us then? Laugh!!
Who saw that would never imagine Renée could do what she did in Chicago.
Top 5:
5. "Fade Into You" by Mazzi Star [Swept Away]
Guy Ritchie and Madonna's second collaboration [the first is that outrageous and amazing music video] isn't well regarded among general public nor the critics. I agree that the film has some flaws like the boring edition in the begining [before the main characters become castaways] and some jokes are too According To Jim-esque for my taste; but generally I like the movie and find it very underrated. Madge's performance is mostly funny and cute, her comedy timing is great and as Amber she's adorable.
However, there is a scene that defines for me the best moment in the film. When Peppe and Amber embrace their attraction and live their love in that paradisiacal island, we are swayed by the lovely Fade Into You. But there are two things I adore about this sequence: the first is Alex Barber's breathtaking cinematography, he captured the scenario in a so beautiful way you feel like you're there; the second thing is that Fade Into You's lyrics match perfectly with the film's moment and is like a watershed in the character's fates. Mazzi Star's lyrics go about giving yourself away for a stranger, letting go of prejudices and giving a leap of faith on the unknown; exactly what the lovers were doing in that island and decided to keep on doing when they returned to "civilization". Right after the song ends, they are found.
4. "Just The Way You Are" by Maggie Gyllenhaal [Happy Endings]
After the whole [Jake] Gyllenhaal fuss in 2005 I totally overlooked this family, and despite all the buzz Maggie is getting herself this year I deliberately ignored her. Until I saw Happy Endings. Dan Ross's movie is beyond cute, not only because you simply love all the whackiness of its characters [especially Maggie's and Lisa Kudrow's], but also because it never judges their behaviors therefore we feel free to identify ourselves with them. That way we completely fall in love with each character, understanding their actions, fears and embracing their dramas. [I wanna marry Jason Ritter even if he has "Raise Your Voice" and "Freddy Vs Jason" on his past.]
So the moment Maggie's character sings that song you can't help loving everything about her [and Maggie herself by default for giving life to Jude in a so loveable way]. The song tells perfectly what you feel about the characters and how the film dealed with them; and that way you just feel hopeful to get your happy ending.
3. "Vogue" by Madonna [The Devil Wears Prada]
Madonna and Shep Petibone wrote this pop classic inspired by the dancing style that was in fashion at underground gay clubs in the late 1980's; the rest is history.
In 2006 David Frankel in his orgasmic movie The Devil Wears Prada takes Madonna's classical hit and puts it as the soundtrack of a sequence that shows all these marvelous couture outfits dressed by Anne Hathaway. Even though we all know that song must have been played in a million fashion catwalks since its release, that time it was there for the whole world to see how Madonna's song is as fresh and new as those clothes.
A funny thing about that scene is that Madonna's song is about people who feel better about themselves imitating great Hollywood stars on the dancefloor, and Andy Sachs goes through a change of behavior, personality and self-confidence with all those Chanel suits and Jimmy Choo-es. Does all that sound kind of superficial and frivolous? Yeah, but who gives a fuck?! Sometimes we must unwind and just be happy with trivial things.
Besides, who would resist Madonna and Dolce & Gabbana clothes?!
2. "All By Myself" by Celine Dion [Bridget Jones's Diary]
Okay, kilos and kilos of calories + wine + Bridget Jones = LAUGHS!!
The opening scene from modern masterpiece Bridget Jones's Diary is a masterpiece itself. Seriously, who never felt so shitty about himself that drank the night away at home and listened to depressive music until faint? Okay, I haven't but I felt similar; never got drunk and overchocolated but yes, I dubbed a corny song in a dramatic way that completely fit into my current state. The scene is so ridicule that it's genius how screenwriters Helen Fielding, Andrew Davies and Richard Curtis manage to make us laugh at the fact that we ourselves had done that.
Uhg... to know/remember what I'm talking about, rewatch that marvelous scene.
1. a) "Moon River" by Audrey Hepurn [Breakfast At Tiffany's]
This song is perfection. I first ever heard it back in 1997 when my father played a Louis Armstrong record that had it. Back then I knew nothing about the fact it was written for a movie nor anything of English so I just felt amazed by its tender melody.
Years later [2005] I found it among my mp3s, this time sung by Frank Sinatra. And I was in a moment of discovering classic cinema. The ho instantly told me it was from one of the greatest movies ever made, Breakfast At Tiffany's and I NEEDED to see it. Then I finally saw the lovely scene where Holly is sat by the window singing the song Henry Mancini wrote especially for Audrey's vocal range and in Paul/Fred's eyes were imprinted the fascination for that outstanding, charismatic and intriguing person. The music she was playing had such a sorrowful tone, so filled with what we Portuguese speakers would call saudade that contrasted with the fun, eccentric and hyperactive woman he had experienced till then. That depth on Holly's persona is enough to make him fall in love with her.
What does happen with us at that exact moment? We completely feel the same.
b) "Moon River" by Nacho Pérez [La Mala Educación]
The reason I absolutely love this song in this movie is that it brings us exactly the opposite feeling that BAT brings us.
In Almodóvar's 2004 film the scene that features this song is one that we see a young priest playing a guitar while a pretty and innocent boy sings Moon River [in Spanish] at a riverbank. Then we see a close shot on the priest and he has the exact same look that George Peppard's character in the 1961 film has. But opposite to him there's no grown runaway girl from the south, there's a ten-year-old boy.
What does happen with us at that exact moment? That's it! Pedro Almodóvar completely changed the effect the song brings upon us. Instead of a sympathy to a growing relationship, we feel completely shocked and scared about what is to happen. The lovely song that makes we all fall in love suddenly becomes something we feel afraid of. Therefore, there's no way in not loving this music moment.

The Lunch Out

Seriously, my timing must have been really damaged; I chose the worst moment to come out of the closet for my mom.
She arrived here last night with the intention to kill the "saudade" and have a talk with my sister about her school. When she sent the email telling me she was coming and staying at my house [my father's house] I sensed a fear growing inside me; maybe there lies one of my mistake: even before the woman arrives I am already picturing horrible arguments between her and my father. According not only to Kabbalah but to every Eastern philosophy-or-religion and the Western ones that incorporated the former, there is a circle of energy around us and it affects the environment and the living beings around us. So when she arrived there was this awe in disguise in the way I was acting that I can't say now whether I was already sensing an eminent fight between us or if this have provoked it.
Earlier today there were some fights between her, my dad and my sister and I tried the most to stay out of them, having a considerable success. My dad left the house and we went to the mall to have lunch; I tried to put the latest dramas aside and enjoy the last hours we had together [she anticipated her bus ticket for tonight] but I succumbed to ego and remained distant. Until she said:
"All you see now on TV, on the novelas are gays and lesbians. It's so disgusting!"
My eyes opened widely in some kind of shock, right at that moment I was thinking if I should tell her about me! And to hear such homophobic statement was... well it was definitely not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. And there I lost control, I said that everything that was being shown was great and it was about time that the media showed it as a normal thing because there were homossexuals in the world and they were as normal as everyone else, making clear that I thought her remark as prejudiceful and homophic as I'd never have expected from her.
She declared she was okay about homossexuality because she had relatives and knew a lot of people that were, but she didn't endorse all the promiscuity, drugs, shocking behaviors etc that supposedly came along with queeness; besides for a parent it was hard because he/she would never really accept it, no matter how open minded the parent was. Well, I still don't know how I should have felt at that moment, but I know I felt offended and when she asked me why [for the third time] I stormed out:
"Because I am! And those comments really bothered me especially coming from you."
"You are what?"
"I'm homossexual, or are you going to tell me you didn't know?" [This was the moment my petulance was more than evident and I started to hate myself.]
I gave a glance at my sister that was by my right side, morbidly curious if I was getting from her the same shocked countenance I was getting from my mom; I wasn't, so I got back to my lasagna as mother cried and said how bitchy and insensitive of me to tell her such thing that way. I agreed; I definitely wasn't planing to reveal myself that way and was [am] majorly disappointed at myself to have done as such. But what was done was done and I could not take everything back anymore.
She said a lot of more stuff I tuned down in my head, got up and left; I looked at my sister and told her to go after her, I remained sat and thought about everything, loathing myself for the lack of self control as I waited for a very caloric and sweet petit gâteau. A minute after I ordered it, my sister calls me on the cell; I went to where she told me to and there she was, my mom fainted on a shoe store's couch! Yeah, you may laugh ho, if there weren't so much people surrounding I would've laughed myself at the whole soap operaesque situation we were going through.
We took her to the hospital and the doctor said she was only stressed out due to the discussion and her blood pressure lowered. I called my dad to pick us up and he dared to ask "do I really have to go?" which made me pissed, but what made me ultra pissed was that he never made it! We took a ride with some friends that were there and as soon as we stepped into the house, my father called inquiring why we weren't there at the hospital anymore.
Back when we arrived at the hospital, Universe managed to give us [or at least me] a message: the place was in uproar due to a car wreck that had just happened; the cab-driver and I carried my mom in and there were no beds to accomodate her; a nurse found us a wheel chair and the driver went away. When my sister and I carried my mom out, some of the relatives and friends from the people involved in the accident were there anxiously waiting for further information. Among them there was a cute guy I used to flirt with whenever I saw him and he was so clearly frightened that I felt as normal as I should feel; that comforted me with the fact our drama was nothing compared to those people's.
What is it? Growing up?
[Song: Turn Into Love - Kylie Minogue]

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Lover-ly

"The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated."
- Eliza Doolittle
After Professor Henry Higgins throws away the ring and Eliza thinks he will beat her, she dramatically bends over the fireplace and soils her hands with ashes. And there she is, the outstanding lady who had just drawn the attention and admiration from everyone at the Embassy Ball breaking down the faux, revealing her origins: Eliza Doolittle was not a lady, she was a flower girl.
In British/European societies the differences between classes are very well defined and rarely changed; no matter if you worked your whole life to become a well succeeded nouveau riche you will always be inferior to the aristocratic minds of the high society [even the Escaladers tend to adhere to that mentality].
My point in all this cinematical/sociological blabbering is our roles as inhabitant of this global web. Here we have Audrey Hepburn giving life to one of the most charismatic and deep characters ever created. [I don't care if she was dubbed on the musical numbers or if she never performed it on the stage; it's Audrey Hepburn everyone thinks about whenever they hear the words My Fair Lady/Eliza Doolitttle.] When she was the flower-gal she simply survived, living through the days just to keep herself alive; after being educated by Professor Higgins and Colonel Pickering she is a woman aware of her role on society. Is she?
When Eliza soils her hands, still dressed on her "princess costume" she realizes she doesn't know who she is, so she flees to find out who is the real persona inside her, she goes out to find herself; when she returns to her original place no one can recognize her, after all what such a lady as herself could be doing among a group of beggars? We let the outside-world define who we are and what we ought to do; all Eliza knew was that she was a "good gal" who sold flowers on the streets; that was her duty, that was her role on the play. But when she's offered a new position and she learns how to behave in that place she can't decide if she's worthy of all that, because everyone always told her she wasn't.
My Fair Lady's plot happens in the 1920's and back then human relations were still stiff and rigid like that. In another movie that portrays that same era, Robert Altman's Gosford Park, in a particular scene all the servents declare they have come from a long lineage of servants, their parents were, their grandparents were as well and so will be their kids; just today my father was telling that back in the 60's the prostitutes weren't allowed to frequent downtown because they would be tarnishing the town's morality. But nowadays, things are different, right? Society has evolved and permitted people to define themselves for themselves.
I wouldn't say so. We are still told what to do, what to be, how to behave, who to worship and follow, what to say, what to believe and the beat goes on. In Kabbalah we are taugh that we are the responsibles for every little thing [good or bad] that happens in our lives; so why do we still let ourselves be governed?
When Eliza Doolittle said that the difference between a lady and a flower girl was the way she is treated, she wasn't placing the blame on everyone else for her grace or disgrace. At that moment she was realizing that people would always judge her and always draw itineraries for her life; but it's only when you look inside yourself and assume who you are and take control of your own life is when you will be treated like a lady. At the moment she knew she was a lady because she wanted and chose to be so.
So once again I go about this: it's all about choices...
[Song: Wouldn't It Be Lover-ly? - Audrey Hepburn]

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Anticipating...

Unconsciously, the previous post was some kind of prelude to that famous New Year resolution list that we all put effort in doing, but few of us actually practice them.
Well, knowing me as you do in which box do you think I fit in? I don't believe we should plan our lives because a lot of things in it doesn't depend on our simple will and desires, but there are some things that we can think in advanced, some targets and goals to be accomplished. I don't do a list à lá Bridget Jones, but I set goals I want in life and pose myself to try to do them in the year-to-come.
That in theory. Since I never actually write down anything I tend to forget all the resolutions by January the 2nd; sometimes I remember during the year, but it's not like I officially put them on paper as an agreement between me and myself. This year though I'll do it differently.
No, I'm not going to start writing it on this post, but I'm going to start thinking about it. For me 2006 is already over; even though Sargitarius has just begun and it's supposedly "the month of miracles" I would label [ick... here I go doing it again] such happenings as "2007 preludes". Yeah, maybe I should let go and just live... but you see, that's what I've been doing and there are some things about this [and me] that I still don't like, so maybe it's time for a change.
From today on I'm going to start revisiting my year; reviewing the highlights, the turning points, all the things I said I'd do and didn't and if they're still part of who I am and what I want to be, etc etc. Perhaps I should have done this few months earlier for Rosh Hashnnah, but I don't think it's too late... and according to my Christian upbringing I've still got time.
Oh, what does all of this have to do with Live To Tell and the mirrored cross?
Well, you know... stream of consciousness.
[Song: Got To Be Certain - Kylie Minogue]

Live To Tell

"From Johnny W:
NBC premiered Madonna’s Confessions Tour on the 22nd and (naturally) edited it (not just due to time restrictions but 'demand'). Various Christian religious groups were against Madonna 'mocking' Christ with her enactment of Jesus’ crucifixion. Those who have heard Madonna’s explanation or (those who are less hypocritically) who have seen the show, know she is not mocking Christ but bringing awareness about the plight of AIDS in Africa.
Channel 4 is a channel, which, generally, tries to break down barriers. Sometimes controversial but tries to stay honest. Tonight, in England, we watched Madonna Confessions Tour (edited to a schedule) but 'bleeped' and 'blurred' it was not. 'If I ran away....' Close up of Madonna’s face, the thorns, the cross and then the light in the background on the screens. I was watching Live To Tell, as it should be. Inter-cut with the AIDS epidemic images as Madonna intended. Expressing the message that we should do more for countries that need our Western help.
We also saw the finger ('Sorry'), the heart ('I Love New York') – okay this one may be due to trademark - and heard the lyrics ('suck George Bush’s dick'). No bleeps, no blurs just pure Madonna. Ok, we didn’t get 'Drowned World', 'Paradise (Not For Me)', 'Lucky Star' etc. - (DVD Sticker) 'CONTAINING PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN FOOTAGE OF LUCKY STAR'. But in a society where we are allowed to see and hear Madonna say 'suck George Bush’s dick' and not have a 'higher' union censor it for us we should say 'Ho' and wave our hands in the air like we don’t care. But what if she said 'suck Tony Blair’s dick'. Would we still see it on UK TV?
A toast to Channel 4 and the Confessions Tour. Let’s look forward to the DVD and hope we can unite together and try to do our bit with the AIDS epidemic and the other monstrosities in the world. 'Doing our bit' isn’t necessarily about going to Africa or donating to a charity. It can be educating your child/another person about awareness, listening to someone who is in a difficult moment, practising safe sex etc. I’m not going to list all the Madonna cliché lyrics 'Why’s it so hard....' etc. but just want to say a little thank you for being you. Madonna you are not going to change the world in a day and neither are we. But let's try."
Amem.
[Song: Live To Tell - Madonna]

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Okay...

...maybe this is totally exasperated and out of time but this dearest friend with whom I haven't talked in ages was logged on the MSN. She firstly asked for my address [no "hi's" or "how are you's"] and after I gave it, it hit me that something was weird. I'm really fond of this girl and she is of me and considering the time to which we haven't spoken nor heard of each other, that was indeed a strange start of talk. Yeah, I got preoccupied that I was chatting with wasn't exactly her, if you know what I mean.
So I asked if she was alright and said that I missed her. She replied with an "I'M WONDERFUL" and an "I MISS YOU TOO"... yeah, on caps, like that. And then she said she was about to leave and that I was going to hear from her very soon! And left.
Yes, I am very aware that I am overreacting here... no, surely the proper verb is "drama-queening". But yeah, after watching Eyes Wide Shut and reading a nasty comment on my flog I can't help feeling a bit suspicious.
Not that the weird behavior of my friend, the nasty comment and Kubrick's film has anything to do with the other, but well... y'all know how human minds work.
[Song: A Good Thing - Saint Etienne]

Thursday, November 23, 2006

I want a turkey. I want a turkey for me.

We don't have thanksgiving in Brasil and I don't have gringo-ed friends to give a thanksgiving dinner. But still I can thank all the blessings, so I hop on the wave and do my Thankgivings post.
So, thank G-d for:
- dentist appointments on stormy days;
- stormy days full of inspiration;
- inspiration made into art;
- art made by Madonna;
- Madonna making the people come together;
- come together to the one person that understands;
- to understand that person as well;
- well and healthy Kylie;
- Kylie Minogue's beautiful and sorrowful joyous music;
- music that makes me happy;
- happiness given by tv;
- tv: Sawyer, Bree, Lorelai(s)... Sex And The City;
- Bushnell, Parker, Nixon, Catrall and Davis;
- Alais and her unique intelligence;
- intelligence that is as well in me;
- my girlie "me", Nathalia;
- me for being so sarcastic;
- sarcasm that brings me reason to laugh;
- laughter hours spent with the ho;
- the ho... oh third time I thank for him;
- all the virtual men that comes in and out of my life;
- the crushes that irks my brain to think;
- think and write things like this site;
- trade the day for the night;
- my dad with his adorable although sometimes irksome speeches;
- my mom and her very own manual of "how not to be";
- my sis for the same reason;
- my ghost too;
- oh Maria Bethânia!!
- have I already thanked for Madge and Kylie?
- what about the source of bliss? Yeah the films, the films, the films, the films!!!
- Greta Garbo, and Monroe; Dietrich and DiMaggio. Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean, on the cover of a magazine. Grace Kelly; Harlow, Jean. Picture of a beauty queen. Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire. Ginger Rogers, dance on air. They had style, they had grace; Rita Hayworth gave good face; Lauren, Katharine, Lana too. Bette Davis, we love you. Ladies with an attitude; fellows that were in the mood. Don't just stand there, let's get to it. Strike a pose, there's nothing to it... yeah, you all know what I mean!
- the body, the mind, the soul;
- the life I'm writing with my words;
- everyone that is helping me on it;
- and You of course that permits me to be.
Happy Thanksgiving.