BitchyList

Friday, May 25, 2007

Rehab

When my friend asked me if I was feeling any better, I instantly replied "no". I know I'm not supposed to feel enlightened and emotionally healed after my first session of therapy, no cancer is cured on the first day of chemo. But what surprised me was how quickly I replied that; the certainty that things weren't okay. Even on my darkest moments I'd procrastinate with a joke here and there, but at that moment I felt too tired even to be witty.
As the day went on I realized my heartbreak wasn't the only thing bugging me. The month is to end on the Wednesday [when I get money from dad] and I have only $20, that will be spent tomorrow with the cab to return from Maria Bethânia's show; which I'll have to milk from the icebergs of my current creativity to write an inspiring article about afterwards. I'm counting on the goddess to inspire me. But at this moment I just make Nina's words my own: I just lost the drive.
Heartbreak. [check]
Money trouble. [check]
Getting wet by filthy puddles on a rainy day. [check]
Empty house after a tiresome day. [check]
Uhg... I'm feeling like I hopelessly need a drink. Maybe I'm going to rehab too soon.
[Song: Bruised But Not Broken - Joss Stone]